I have a brave question to ask of you. What is the lie you’ve accepted about yourself?
- That you will never be able to truly trust someone because your trust has been taken advantage of too many times?
- That you will never find a good man until you lose the weight?
- That God doesn’t really love you because you can’t see Him as a father?
- That you are unloveable and you are lucky to have the few people in your life who act like they love you?
- That experiencing true joy is something for others but not for you?
- That your life is far better than your mother’s life so your barely-there existence is enough for you to get by with?
- I can never lose this weight because I have health problems?
- That you will never be loved and married again?
What is the lie you’ve accepted about yourself? What part of you do you excuse as will always be a problem in your life and that’s the way it is. That you will get by. That you’ve grown so much yet you will always have this as a problem in your life. And you are okay with that. That you know what’s happened in your life–in your past–so you will never expect to really have that life to the full with Jesus that you see other Christians having. And you are okay with that.
Somewhere in that lie you are accepting there is a story you are making up about yourself. Yes, what happened to you in your past did happen but how does that past define you now? Now that you can see it with your wiser eyes? Is it leading you into a life of truth or is it justifying this lie that defines you now?
Because your past doesn’t need to define you now. Yes, it is a part of your story (pain is your beginning, Romans 5:3-5) but you have grown and overcome and are worthy of living this new life that God has birthed inside of you. This lie you are accepting is the part of the story you are making up about yourself now.
Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions. Psalm 119:29
I read this one a while ago.
When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness—that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging—lives inside our story. –Dr. Brene’ Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, p. 23
Inside of your true story. Not the hustling one that this lie is perpetuating. Can I get a tired “amen!” from so many of you?
I feel some fear creeping inside of you as you process this. You know what this lie is. But it is so comfortable to accept. It is such a part of your made-up story.
For some of you the fear is real because you have a deep hole to crawl out of. Because of this lie that has been accepted and has led your life you are really stuck in your life. You have limited financial means to make the move that you need to make. You have burned some reliable friends who would have helped you but now won’t. And the thought of entering through church doors to make a new start is too overwhelming to even get into the car. If you have car or gas for the car because your hole is that big.
From the greatest story ever told—after the story of Jesus which is copied a lot—listen to what Yoda has to say about fear.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” –Yoda
Is there anger in your life? Is there hate in your life? Is there suffering in your life? Yes and yes and yes. And it all stems from this lie that you’ve accepted about yourself.
Today is the day. Now is the time to reflect on this painful truth because now is the time to make that decision to grow.
When making that decision make it knowing there is a lot of hard and uncomfortable work ahead. There is no way around it. It will be hard and vulnerable and more times than you will like you will feel like you don’t know what you are doing. Pain is your beginning. But heck, you are in pain now so let’s just change up that pain so it is the kind of pain that moves you forward, Romans 5:3-5.
When making that resolution make it knowing that time is also needed. I wish all you needed was 3 days and life would be different. But no. Time is needed so that the right things are set up for when you are able to make the move. Allowing for time hurts when you are already so vulnerably exposed and want to have everything over with. But there is no way around time. Time is this:
Start here. Don’t accept this lie as a part of your life any longer. Bring it into the light. Make the quiet moments and ask yourself these questions and dare yourself to answer honestly to yourself:
1. What’s the lie I’ve been telling myself.
2. What’s the reality?
3. What’s the real truth?
4. What do I have to be grateful for and praise God about?
Try this also. Invite a trusted mentor into why you’ve accepted this lie for so long so there are other eyes on the lie to keep you in the truth. Do not be afraid of finding counseling which will lead you into the truth.
Exposing this lie to the light of truth then makes the lies manageable. How about that? Lies that are manageable. Lies that used to keep you in fear now don’t. Now how is your story?
Don’t let this accepted lie—which leads to fears and doubts—keep you out of this life to the full. Yes, there will be some pain and discomfort as you wrestle through the holy tension but to do it is worth it. Because your sense of worthiness lives inside this story. This very one that God believes in.
Originally published at Bravester with permission from Brenda Seefeldt Amodea.