Insist on seeing the change! – Divorce Minister

David Derksen

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Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.

-Matthew 3:8, NLT

When dealing with a cheater, the proper biblical approach is NOT to even consider restoring the marriage without obvious repentance.

You need to look at the cheater’s actions:

Are they the sort of actions that demonstrate that this person has forsaken their life of sin? Or are they simply the actions of someone trying to avoid the consequences?

The cheater who has stepped onto the path of repentance does not blame the faithful partner–even in part–for choosing the path of sin. They live in such a way that demonstrates that they understand their sin is their own problem to fix. It was not cause by marriage circumstances; rather, it was caused by the sin in the cheater’s own heart.

A repentant cheater ends the relationship with the third party and is an “open book” for their spouse answering whatever questions he or she needs to heal. This is what repenting of lies and deceit looks like.

The expectation of repentance is a healthy one. Let’s keep that in the focus with cheaters and NOT “saving” a marriage that cannot be saved in truth while one party refuses to repent.

*A version of this post ran previously.

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