Cheater Still Blaming Spouse - Divorce Minister
“Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater.
So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage.
This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a statement by a Cheater where she or he blames their affair on the marriage–aka their faithful partner. Or–worse–they take this statement as an opening to ask the Cheater for their list of things that they think is wrong with their victim–aka the faithful partner.
If a pastor or Christian counselor really cared about the Cheater, they would disabuse them of their entitled posturing. They would remind them that emotional affairs are serious sin that they are fully accountable for (see 2 Cor 5:10).
Also, a responsible pastor or Christian counselor would not permit further attacks of the Cheater on the faithful party via talking about “marriage” problems.
You do not get to burn down your marriage around the faithful spouse and then complain about how your spouse failed to stack the dishwasher “properly.”
Clearly, Cheaters making such opening statements about having dealt with their emotional affair are just saying that to redirect the conversation. They have NOT dealt with their sin. It is still being treated as less serious than it is. And no one can repent from sin if they do not recognize it as such and accept responsibility to repent from it.