Have you ever said hello to a friend and been totally ignored? I have. In fact, it happens all the time. (I’m not kidding.) If I spot someone across the parking lot and call out a hello, the person usually continues on as if they haven’t heard me.
Does this prove I’m a worthless nobody who can safely be ignored?
Only if l let it.
I could take this frustratingly common occurrence as proof that my friends and acquaintances don’t care enough about me to bother taking notice when I greet them. And if my friends don’t care about me, I must not be worth much. I’m an invisible, inconsequential, nobody who doesn’t deserve … [We’ll stop this ugly thought train right here, but you can imagine where it could take you. You and I don’t need to go there!]
On the other hand, I could take their lack of response as proof that I don’t have a loud enough voice to capture someone’s attention in a noisy public space. I know this is the truth, because when I make eye contact with a person before calling out a greeting, they smile and greet me back.
However, the deeper truth is this: neither a friend’s response nor lack thereof defines my worth. I am valuable, loveable, and precious because I am a child of God.
“You are not some type of cosmic accident. You were handcrafted and custom-made by a perfect Creator. The value of your Creator should cause you to reconsider your own worth and value.”
T. D. Jakes
Believing you are valuable is foundational!
That’s why basing my worth on God—not myself—the first statement in my Quietly Unconventional Manifesto. (You can read the rest of my manifesto here, or download a printable copy here.)
My identity and self-worth are the foundation that allows the rest of my life to flourish.
This one powerful truth—that God loves us and sees us as precious just as we are provides s secure foundation of identity and self-worth that allows the rest of our lives to flourish. Without the cornerstone of secure identity and worth, we are susceptible to
negative messages that try to keep us ashamed, insecure and ineffective.
That’s not the kind of life you and I want to live, so let’s stand firm on the truth.
You are a valuable child of God.
- You don’t need to measure up to someone else’s standards to be worthwhile and loveable. You’re fully loved and accepted by God, just as you are, despite your bad hair, weird opinions, and the secret stash of chocolate you keep for emergencies.
- You don’t need approval, acceptance, attention, or applause to earn your self-worth, because God accepts you and loves you without all that striving, hustling, and mask-wearing.
- You’re not a loser, a failure, an idiot, a basket case, a factory reject, or a nobody. You are God’s wonderfully made masterpiece, and his opinion trumps all else!
- Because you are God’s wonderful creation, your whole self is worthy of honor, not just the parts that look good in the mirror or impress on a resume. You may not understand
- Loving and nurturing yourself honors God by acknowledging you are his handiwork and therefore precious. When you practice self-care, you are accepting your sacred duty to care for God’s valuable child. Healthy self-care is not selfish.
I hope these truths fill you with freedom and hope. You are valuable. To God and to this world.
A brief prayer based on scripture that you can use this week.
Dear Lord, may my roots grow deep into God’s love, so I remain strong. Give me the ability to understand how wide, long, high, and deep his love is (for ME personally!) May I fully experience the love of Christ, (even though it’s too amazing to understand fully). Help me to soak in your love and be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
May the truth of God’s love not just be a concept in my head, but a truth in my heart, and may that truth free me from my fear of what others think.
For change to happen, we need to replace the twisted thoughts in our heads regarding our worth and identity with the truth of who we really are. That requires intentional and repeated action on our part.
Choose one of the statements from the list above that hits home. Write it out and then speak it out loud daily. If you need help making this small act into a daily habit, here are some suggestions.
- Print it on a card and place it in your Bible so you can add it to your daily quiet time.
- Set a timer on your phone to remind you to take a moment and read your statements out loud.
- Write it on a sticky note and stick it on your morning vitamins. Read the affirmation before swallowing.
- Stick a note on your gearshift and read it out loud before starting the car.
- Put a 3×5 card inside your shoe and whisper these truths to yourself before starting your exercises.
Need more help?
If you struggle to fully accept the fact that God loves you as you are, consider downloading my ten-day devotional entitled God is Enough (So I Don’t Need To Be).
Knowing who we are in Christ sets us free from the need to impress others.
Lisa E. Betz is an award-winning author, motivational speaker, and unconventional soul. She shares her quirky mysteries and thoughts on the joys and challenges of living authentically at lisaebetz.com.