3 Simple Practices to Build Your Confidence - Lisa E Betz
Do you wish you were more confident? Good news. Confidence is something you can develop, like building muscle strength or learning a skill. Here are three ways you can build your confidence, no matter what stage of life you’re in.
What is confidence?
Psychology Today.com describes confidence like this:
“Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life’s challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly. Being confident requires a realistic sense of one’s capabilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.
Projecting confidence helps people gain credibility, make a strong first impression, deal with pressure, and tackle personal and professional challenges. It’s also an attractive trait, as confidence helps put others at ease.”
BetterUp.com adds that:
“Confident people welcome new challenges because they know that they are reasonably up to the challenge. And their self-worth doesn’t hinge on the outcome. They’ll try their best and are motivated to pursue their goals without overthinking or internalizing too much.”
You and I can increase our confidence one step at a time. Here are three simple practices that will help you begin to strengthen your self-confidence.
Build your confidence through learning new things
A mindset of curiosity is beneficial in many ways. A desire to learn enriches our lives, strengthens empathy, and keeps us from stagnating. Conquering new ideas or skills also strengthens our belief that we are capable of positive change.
The more you practice learning, the better at learning you become. As you successfully learn new skills or understand new concepts, you build your confidence that you’re able to handle future situations involving stuff you don’t yet know.
If you want to be a more intentional learner, watch out for these mindsets that hinder learning.
- Believing that everything you already know is the whole true and nothing but the truth
- Thinking others have nothing new to teach you
- Unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone
- Not asking questions because you fear looking foolish
The good news: Learning new things has never been so easy. There are books, how-to videos, and webinars on practically everything you might want to learn more about.
Pick something that fascinates you and exercise those learning muscles today.
Build your confidence through making peace with mistakes
We all make mistakes and missteps. We all face setbacks. It’s how we handle them that matters. If we believe making mistakes means we’re a failure, we’ll be afraid to try hard things and we won’t reach our potential.
Those who move forward in life learn to accept mistakes and setbacks as a normal and necessary part of growing into a stronger, more capable, more confident person. As you practice seeing mistakes as steps in learning and developing rather than failure, you build your confidence that you are capable of handling future setbacks and challenges.
One simple way to practice a mistakes-won’t-kill-me mindset is to learn a new skill. Each time you lose your balance, make wonky art, or otherwise mess up, don’t allow your inner critic to label you a failure. Reframe the mishap in a positive, what-can-I-learn-from-this way.
- Instead of “I’m a failure” say “I’m still a beginner at this, but I can keep getting better if I don’t give up.”
- Instead of “That was a stupid idea” say “That didn’t work like I’d hoped. What should I change to make things work better next time?”
- Instead of “I’m an idiot” say “Oops, I should have double-checked my spelling. I’ll remember to do that next time.”
Don’t accept criticism from just anyone
Criticism can quickly destroy your confidence.
There are plenty of people who are happy to criticize others—at work, on social media, at church or school. We can’t avoid hearing critical remarks, but we can choose not to give all criticism equal weight.
Many critical people are focused on making themselves look good, regardless of how it hurts those around them. To protect ourselves from harm, we must learn to turn down the volume on unhelpful or cruel criticism.
Think twice before listening to or believing criticism that comes your way. Consider all the people you run across that you’d never go to for advice. Now ask yourself, “
Here are three questions you should ask before taking anyone’s criticism to heart.
- Does this person know me? If the person is a stranger, they haven’t earned the right to speak into your life. If they don’t know you or what you are facing, they have no basis for constructive feedback.
- Does this person have my best interest at heart? Have this person’s actions proven they care about you, or are they only a fair-weather friend? If push comes to shove, do you trust this person to make choices that benefit you, or only themselves?
- Would I go to this person for advice? If you wouldn’t trust their advice, why would you listen to their criticism?
Asking the three questions helps you determine who has the right to speak into your life and who doesn’t.
How will you strengthen your confidence muscles this week?
These techniques won’t magically boost your self-confidence overnight, but every time you practice one of these three simple habits, you build your confidence a little bit more. And as your confidence grows, it will become easier to face harder hurdles.
