8 Obvious Signs Your Husband Doesn't Trust You - Olubunmi Mabel

Trust and love…

The most important ingredients in any relationship.

We have somehow placed so much emphasis on love and so little on trust.

Trust is needed much more when there is love.

It is that feeling that makes you feel safe with your partner and vice versa.

Without it, your love may just be on the way to becoming hate.

Recently, the increasing discussions on DNA tests and female infidelity have awakened a lot of fear and distrust in the hearts of many men and young boys.

Well, some of these fears are founded, but really, how do we go through marriage if we don’t trust our partners?

How do we sleep and wake up every day beside this person to whom we are bound by oath if we don’t trust them?

It strains the relationship, and perhaps knowing the signs can help you restore your marriage to its former glory.

In this article, we will explore the various signs that your husband doesn’t trust you and what you can do to save your marriage.

Let’s get started!

8 Obvious Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Trust You

1. He asks too many questions

Whenever your husband doesn’t seem interested in your life, it could be a sign of problems in the relationship.

However, when he shows too much interest, that could be indicative of another problem.

It is normal to be curious about what is happening in the life of your partner and you can inquire about those things that pique your curiosity.

Sometimes, the inquiry may begin to take the form of an interview or inquisition.

It’s one thing to ask you “How did your day go?”

But it’s another to ask, “Where are you coming from?”.

One question sounds like just a polite inquiry while the other seems like an inquisition.

It even goes further than this.

Imagine visiting a friend and finding out your husband called her to confirm if you were actually supposed to visit her.

This sort of behavior indicates that your husband doesn’t trust you.

The weird thing is lack of trust doesn’t have to be related to cheating alone.

Some men don’t trust their wives with money, and whenever their wives spend a dime, they must give a detailed account of how they spend it.

When your husband begins asking you too many questions, so many that it seems like he is checking for inaccuracies or investigating a crime, it is a sign that he doesn’t trust you.

2. He snoops around your belongings 

An ex asked why I don’t like anyone touching my phone and going through it.

My answer was simple.

“My phone is my personal property, and I really don’t like it when people search through my things.”

It already shows signs of distrust.

I let people use my phone when they have a specific need but I don’t like the idea of you going through my chats.

It gives the vibe of you searching for evidence of mischief.

It doesn’t have to be your phone.

It could be your pockets, handbags, or your wardrobe…

If you have found your husband searching through your personal belongings, it is a sign that he doesn’t trust you.

Trust me, I get the need for full transparency in relationships and marriages, but that doesn’t mean he should sneak around like some spy, searching for evidence of imagined transgressions.

Regardless of gender, anyone who does this is suspicious of you doing something and is just looking for proof.

3. He demands to know all your passwords

In marriage, there is a need for transparency.

However, it shouldn’t feel forced.

It is something that should come naturally.

Sometimes, a distrustful husband doesn’t stop at snooping around.

He may demand to know the passwords to your phone, social media accounts, and even your email.

While it is not bad for your husband to know these things, it is the reason he wants them that makes it bad.

He is probably nervous that you may be having inappropriate conversations with people on social media.

So, he wants to monitor your social media interactions.

He wants to know who you are following, who you are chatting with, and what you are saying to them.

Really, it is tedious being this distrustful, and being married to a distrustful husband is even harder.

You constantly feel like you are under scrutiny.

Really, if you are married to a man who subjects you to this much scrutiny, it is a sign that your husband doesn’t trust you.

4. He gets irrationally jealous

A little bit of jealousy is great in a marriage.

When husbands display a little jealousy, it’s a sign that they are still very much in love with you and don’t take you for granted.

However, there is a line that must never be crossed, or jealousy will become irrational and toxic to the relationship.

So, your husband goes through your friend lists on social media and tells you to delete some friends because they are very handsome…

Or he gets really upset when you meet with male clients even when you keep things professional between you and them.

He may even dislike the fact that you are close to a male colleague at work.

These are all irrational jealousies, especially if you have given him no reason to believe that you don’t deserve his trust.

When your husband does all these, the jealousy is no longer cute because they are a sign that he doesn’t trust you.

5. He wants to know who you are with at all times

This is another really tedious manifestation of distrust in any relationship.

Your husband always wants to know where you are and who you are with.

This may seem like caring behavior until he begins to ask for video calls just to verify that you are where and with whom you said you are.

You can’t just go out and say, “You want to hang out with friends.” Your husband wants to know the names of all of them and where you’re going to hang out.

It’s different when you are the one volunteering the details.

However, when it is being coerced out of you, it may seem like you are being interrogated by a husband who doesn’t trust you.

I remember a female friend visiting me once and her boyfriend called her.

She picked up the call and told him where she was but he still required a video call to see her and who she was with before he believed her.

She said he was always like that and I couldn’t help myself.

I just had to tell her what I felt.

This was no way to be in a relationship!

When your husband has to know where you are and even demands pictures as evidence, it is a sign that he doesn’t trust you.

6. He is clingy

In the early stages of relationships, being clingy may seem sweet but it loses its novelty at some point.

In the beginning, the fact that your husband always wants to be with you must have been so sweet.

I mean, many women want their husbands to spend time with them but yours actually wants to spend all his time with you.

You must have felt so special.

He always wants to go out with you and doesn’t like it when you go somewhere without him.

Right now, it probably feels suffocating.

It’s almost like you can’t do anything on your own.

You are burdened by his neediness.

The fact is that your husband’s clinginess may be a direct product of his lack of trust.

Think about it…

If you don’t trust someone, the best thing to do is to never take your eyes off them.

That’s what your husband is doing to you by being so clingy.

He just can’t bear the thought of you being somewhere he isn’t because then he wouldn’t know what you are doing.

If your husband is clingy, then the odds are he doesn’t trust you enough to let you out of his sight.

7. He sees evil intentions in your innocent actions

This is another extreme sign of a lack of trust in a relationship.

Your husband frequently reads meanings into things.

He overthinks your words, actions, and even inaction and comes up with one sinister intent or the other.

If your husband can make a mountain out of a molehill, then it could be a sign that he doesn’t trust you.

If he sees you smiling at someone, he thinks you are cheating on him already.

In fact, if you so much as exchange looks with another man, your husband concludes that you are cheating on him.

I know a guy who physically assaulted his wife because she greeted another man in public!

She greeted the man publicly where everyone could see her yet he still felt she must be cheating on him.

Being friendly with the waiter at the restaurant is out of the question because your husband will come up with a conspiracy theory for why you are being polite to a stranger.

If your husband reads meaning in innocent actions and words, then it is a sign that he doesn’t trust you.

8. He downright accuses you

How do you know your husband doesn’t trust you?

Well, the most obvious sign is he accuses you of doing something.

He would encourage you to admit that you have done something even when you haven’t and imply that you are lying to him.

He does this so much that you are tired of defending yourself because you don’t even know where the accusations are coming from.

Trust me, I have seen this a lot of times.

Men accuse their wives of doing things they didn’t do just because they don’t trust them.

For the most part, the signs that your husband doesn’t trust you are similar to the signs of a toxic relationship.

This is because a marriage without trust is just another toxic relationship.

If you find yourself in such a relationship, what do you do?

What do you do if your husband doesn’t trust you?

The first thing you need to do is to have an honest talk with him.

Things won’t change until you have discussed with him and hashed out the real cause of the distrust in the marriage.

Likely, he doesn’t even realize what he has been doing, so you need to try to approach the situation constructively.

Don’t bring it up in the heat of an argument.

That would be counterproductive.

Then, you need to state clear boundaries.

What are those behaviors that should be seen as inappropriate in the marriage?

You need to look at it from both your and your husband’s perspectives.

Then, come up with clear boundaries to guide conduct in the marriage.

Now, you need to introspect.

Have you in any way encouraged him to distrust you through your actions or words?

We have been so focused on your husband but if you are not trustworthy, expecting trust is just a pipe dream.

Things like trust and respect are earned not given.

You need to consider anything that has been affecting the quality of trust and intimacy you share with your husband.

You need to hold yourself accountable for the things you may be doing wrong.

Trust may be an important ingredient in a marriage, but you still need to earn it.