Advice for handling bad-faith actors - Divorce Minister
“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”
-Matthew 10:16, NIV
When dealing with bad-faith actors, the wise individual does not share all his or her thinking with them.
This is something I learned from my mentor, C.H., a little under a decade ago. He shared some wisdom from his Southern “Granddaddy”:
“If you tell them what you know, then they know what they know and what you know.”
This is good advice to take under consideration when dealing with cheaters. They are the last person who ought to know the moves you are taking to protect yourself.
They have already demonstrated the assumed principle in this advice. Namely, they are willing to keep what they know to themselves. It is not a two way street of information exchange in the marriage.
The cheater kept the affair secret. That was vital information. However, they did not share with you. Do you really think they will suddenly change overnight and become a paragon of transparency?
Be wise as a serpent.
That will serve you well. Telling them everything you know is the opposite of operating in wisdom.
