“As Your Days” : What John’s Last Days Taught Me About Mercy, Worry & Strength
“And as your days, so shall your strength be.”
Deuteronomy 33:25
I aim to take God at his word. That means I push his promises to the limit and watch them stand—stand unbroken, come what may.
When God says he will give strength for the day, he will give strength to the dying day.
Even to the dying day.
“Even to your old age, I am he,” God proclaimed, “I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.”
His mercies are new every morning and his grace is sufficient through all our days.
Then Came June
We lingered after dinner, as my friend Susanne recounted her dad’s last days. Eighteen months earlier, he had received the diagnosis: it was esophageal cancer that had been making it so hard to swallow.
John took it in stride, like the strong man of God that he was. He neither denied, nor—at least not in public, cried. John did what he always did. He loved his children and ever-growing brood of grandchildren, he served in his church, and, a longtime newspaper editor, he wrote.
John agreed to the treatments, to prolong his life. After they’d run their course, he and his wife Lois pressed on in the good business of life.
Then came June. Susanne got a call from her mom.
“Dad’s in the hospital. He’s got clots in his lungs and doesn’t feel so hot.”
Susanne knew it was time. She notified her boss, packed her Passat, and drove across the state, back home.
It was a muggy Tuesday in June when she arrived. Susanne is a nurse, and wise. It only took minutes with her mom and dad, and a short consultation with her dad’s care team to decide.
It was time. John would come live out his days at home.
Almost Time
It was strength-sapping hot in the old house. Before John could come home, it would need AC. So prompted by Susanne, her mom made a call.
Within hours, “the church men” had installed an air conditioning unit. Before the sun had set, a hospital bed and a wheelchair appeared.
But John walked himself up the stairs to his bedroom Tuesday night.
“For as your days your strength shall be.”
Come Wednesday sunrise, John was stranded on the second story, too weak to brave the stairs. Thankfully, by noon the hospice chaplain had arrived. The first order of business was to get John down. He promptly lugged the wheelchair up.
Perched in the wheelchair atop the staircase, a descent would be epic.
“Let’s pray before we do this,” John suggested.
They did. It was still daunting. Suddenly inspired, John asked the time.
“Perfect. My friends are coming at 1:00. Let’s just wait.”
As if at the beck of God’s mighty hand, those church men guided John’s wheeled chariot as he made his final descent.
“For as your days your strength shall be.”
That was Wednesday afternoon. That night John slept in his cozy new bed in the living room.
John was in fine form on Thursday to visit when his sister and brother-in-law and a few friends stopped by. He didn’t have much in reserve.
But he had enough.
“For as your days your strength shall be.”
That night, Susanne kept vigil on the couch in the living room. Just before dawn, as she started dozing, John called out, loudly and clearly,
“Lois, I need to get ready. The Bible study guys are coming.”
For decades at 6:00 a.m. on Friday, John had led that group as they sat around his kitchen table.
“Susanne, would you text the guys? Tell them this’ll be the last time I’m leading.”
She did, and they came.
God gave John energy enough to sit up and lead the guys that Friday.
“And as your days, your strength shall be.”
John went back to the hospital bed after Bible study. By afternoon, pain was rising and John’s heart rate was falling. The hospice nurse came and quickly advised,
“It’s time to make those calls.”
Susanne called her siblings and held the phone to John’s ear as her sisters and brothers in turn said good-bye to their dad. He didn’t have much strength to talk. But John listened, and nodded, and knew.
Within minutes of the last call, John was at home with his Lord.
“And as your days, your strength shall be.”
And so the word of the Lord proved true. God gave John strength to match his days.
He gave it to John, and to his wife Lois, and to his daughter, my friend Susanne. His vigor came as mount-up-like-eagles strength to walk up the stairs Tuesday night. And it came in wait-upon-the-Lord power in the wheelchair upstairs Wednesday morning, and just-enough vim to visit on Thursday, and in a burst to lead the Bible study Friday morning.
And it came with strength to fight the good fight until God called him home that Friday in June.
God has not forgotten the recipe for manna.
Day By Day
My dad pastored an Evangelical Covenant Church when I was a girl. We’d often sing the Swedish hymn, “Day by Day.” I knew it then as a calming song. Now I know that it’s based on the farewell blessing of Moses to Asher in Deuteronomy 33:25,
“As your days so shall your strength be.”
It’s the same message:
Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
With each day’s trials, he will give new mercies. Mercy to match. That is Lamentations 3:22–23, “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
I think “new every morning” means “as your days, your strength shall be.”
Today’s mercies are for today’s troubles.
John Piper
Tomorrow’s mercies are for tomorrow’s troubles.
God gives mercy to his people, as he gave them manna, new each morning. It’s when we think of bearing tomorrow’s burden with today’s resources that we tend to worry and despair.
But we won’t have to.
There will be new strength and fresh manna tomorrow.
As Your Days
That’s what this post is about.
That’s the message of John’s last days and the message of Deuteronomy 33:25 and Lamentations 3:21, of manna and daily bread. God will not give us today the strength we will need tomorrow.
It will come tomorrow.
The manna in the wilderness was given one day at a time. There was no storing up. God wants us to depend on him every single day. We do not receive today the strength to bear tomorrow’s burdens.
We are given mercy and strength to match the needs of today.
Strength for John
Tuesday, God gave Susanne, a wheelchair, hospital bed, and AC.
Wednesday, he sent the chaplain and the Bible study guys to wing him down the stairs.
Thursday, he provided pain control, vigor to visit, and a devoted daughter keeping vigil.
Friday, he gave the Bible study guys at 6 a.m. and strength to say good-byes.
“And as your days, your strength shall be.”
So Do Not Worry
Worry is a waste of time. It does not do a bit of good. I heard worry likened to those little plastic seats in shopping carts that have steering wheel. The toddler might furiously steer the wheel but it is connected to nothing. He has no control.
“Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?” (Matthew 6:27)
Worry is living life out of order.
Worry is living our lives out of order. Someone said it’s like thinking there’s going to be a famine next year, and then, as a preventative measure, eating double portions at every meal now. Nutrition doesn’t work that way. Life doesn’t either.
“Give us this day our daily bread,” (Matthew 6:11).
And enough is as good as a feast.
No Long Stretches
“The secret of a happy Christian life,” someone said, “is living by the day. It’s the long stretches that tire us. But really, there are no long stretches. Life does not come to us all at once. When tomorrow comes, God will supply both daily bread and daily strength.”
“And as your days, your strength shall be.”
Yes, consider the ant. Yes, make a plan. And yes, hold that plan loosely.
But don’t look too far ahead. Still and quiet your heart. Determine to cast every care on him the second it rises, and to make the most of every opportunity. Be where your feet are.
And also remind yourself that God cares for you today and will care for you tomorrow. He will always give what he deems best. He will give strength for the unique needs of each day.
Even to the dying day.
And afterward?
With Asaph we say, “Afterward you will receive me to glory.”
