Today’s post is about being proactive in helping sons to relate in a healthy way to women. I’m not a parent, but I have observed enough to see that certain problems some men deal with are sometimes not sufficiently dealt with proactively by parents while they are boys.
There are unhealthy attitudes, ideas and practices that are huge parts of cultures globally. It is the responsibility of parents and other responsible mentors to train children correctly. Yet, many issues have been glossed over and important topics are sometimes neglected.
Therefore, this post is inspired by problems I have had with certain men, and also inspired by what I have observed some other women going through in dealing with certain men.
It is not rare to hear on the news that a woman has been slain after rejecting a man’s romantic or sexual advances. It’s not uncommon to hear of a rage killing where yet another lady has been slain because she did not desire the man who desired her.
Proactive measures against entitlement and violence against women should start early, with parents training children while they are young. Yes, this can be inverted and the same said for girls who experience any female entitlement.
In particular, boys need to be trained by their fathers. A noble father demonstrating by examples, as well as verbally instructing his sons is crucial. Again, any principles in this post can be inverted, generally speaking.
Women should equally respect and value men as well. Girls should be taught this from a young age also.
Though it is not such a prevalent problem as male entitlement in this regard, female entitlement is just as wrong.
However, there is no level playing field. Men and women generally do not suffer the same plights in life. There has not been nearly as much female entitlement, rage and deadly violence against men from women as there has been from certain men against women. Yet, respect and valuing one another goes both ways.
In order to minimize a tendency of male entitlement, enragement, and violence toward women at real or perceived rejection, sons would greatly benefit from being taught the following:
1. Respect women as whole people; do not see them as a collection of sexualized body parts for the use of men.
2. Women’s bodies are sacred, not to be misused, abused or objectified in any way.
3. Girls and women do not owe boys and men anything. Men and boys are not entitled to women and girls, simply because they desire them.
4. Women are not a game. They are not objects of a game. They are not to be “scored.” Sex is not a game.
5. Instead of a conquer/achieve mindset when it comes to women, women are absolutely not for so-called conquering. Ladies are to be authentically wooed and won over.
6. If a woman says no to someone’s advances, that is her prerogative. She should not be harassed to change her mind. It is not up to a man to try to force a woman to change her mind to stroke his ego or for any other reasons.
7. Rejection hurts, but it is what any man should be prepared for when pursuing a woman.
• God created men strong and courageous. They step up and do many difficult things.
• If a woman says no to a particular man, it means she is not the one for him.
• It does not mean that anything is wrong with a man because a woman says no.
8. Women are to be respected as equally important, equally valuable human beings; not as primarily objects for men’s sexual gratification.
9. A woman is not prey. Normal, noble, sane men are not predators. Therefore, it is about male pursuit and female response. It is not about a man hunting a woman down like she is prey. It is pursue-respond; not prey-slay.
10. Deception should never be a part of the wooing and winning process.
Rather, there should be an authentic representation of a man to a woman and vice versa. Let her decide how she will respond to his pursuit based on that.
11. Do not be impressed by or cater to the toxic culture that belittles, objectifies, and sees women as a whole as enemies of men.
12. Counteract toxic culture by being noble boys and men who respect the female gender.
• Showing respect means treating girls and women well.
• It means speaking up against any krass, anti-woman lingo and behaviors.
13. Be wise men who choose their women wisely; not solely based off of attraction, physical appearance, sexual fantasies.
• Not based off of social conditioning that tells them women should look a certain way.
• Don’t prioritize appearance, but character.
14. Teach sons the importance and value of monogamy and that sex is for married couples.
• Unfortunately, in some households, there’s a lack of Interest in what sons are doing sexually.
• They can’t become pregnant, so it doesn’t seem to be priority for especially some fathers, what their sons are doing with other people’s daughters.
15. Finally, and most importantly, Christian parents should teach their sons to keep God first, obey Him and seek His direction in all things, including their relationships with women.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22: 6.
