Free to Be Me
I suppose my childhood started like most little boys. Hanging around my father, watching him work the family business as his father had taught him. Watching Dad was okay, but I got a little bored with it. As I got older, and my father would trust me, I would wander away from the shop. It was at those times that my curiosity would get me into trouble. I began stealing things to see if I could get by with it.
Yeah, sometimes I would get caught, but I usually didn’t. My father would scold me, but so what? This was nothing. Everything he would say went in one ear and out the other.
We lived on the side of the Sea of Galilee. The side where “the other people” lived. You see, we weren’t Jews. In fact, to the Jews, we were pigs. They really hated pigs. Something about the God they worshiped wouldn’t allow them to eat them. That pigs were unclean animals. Umm, I guess they considered us “unclean” as well.
As time went on, I got into more and more mischief. I became an avid gambler. I loved to bet on anything. Because I learned how to cheat, I usually won most bets and gambling games. Really, my life had become nothing but a game to me. What could I get into next?
I also became a lover of wine. It seemed as if when I was drunk, my life was tolerable to me. I really enjoyed hanging out with people like me. That was always the best. As you can probably figure out by now, I had lost interest in learning about the family business. I needed money, though, and found out there were people who were willing to pay me to do their dirty work. By dirty work, I mean they would ask me to put their competitors out of business. There were a lot of ways to do this. One way was to steal their inventory. Another was to set fire to their place of business. If that didn’t do it, you would send them a more personal message, like killing a family member.
Yes, I killed people. There was a weird sense of power after I would take the life of a human being. I sometimes thought of myself as a god. I became a pretty horrible person. I soon had a bad reputation in town. I wasn’t afraid of anyone or anything, and unscrupulous men in town knew I would do anything for the right price. That fearless attitude would someday be my downfall.
I also started dabbling in what was known then as the dark arts. I am talking about sorcery and the work of mediums. I thought it was cool that these people could communicate with the dead. In fact, I started telling them to teach me how to do it. It wasn’t long before I began to really get the hang of it. I wanted to do more, though. I felt powerful whenever I delved into these practices. After a while, those who taught me became afraid of me. They said I was going way too far into this and opening myself up to darkness. I liked it, craved it. I wasn’t afraid of it at all. I liked knowing things that others didn’t. I enjoyed them, thinking I was so powerful. At the time, I didn’t care where the power came from. All I cared about was getting more.
At first, everything was fine with me possessing this new power. I didn’t sense any harm in using it. Women were drawn to me as well. They liked being seen with such a strong, powerful, knowledgeable man. When a women wasn’t around when I wanted one, I would send for a prostitute to come to me. Then, one day, the owner of this power came to collect the cost of my using his power. I actually thought I could argue with him and win. Boy, what an eye-opener! One day, I thought I was at the top of the world, but the reality was that my soul now belonged to Lucifer, and when I couldn’t pay, I found myself in utter darkness.
He owned every part of me. I no longer had control of my mind or my body. He had me going around hurting anyone I saw. The people in town were now even more afraid of me. They would run in sheer terror. I was burning anything. I would kill anyone I could get my hands on. I would steal and destroy anything I wanted to. I had become hell on earth. What I thought I once possessed, I realized now possessed me.
The people in town even tried to overpower me so they could chain me down, but this proved to be a worthless endeavor as I could break the chains they attempted to use. Funny, now that I think back, I could free my body, but I couldn’t free my mind or soul. I really wanted to die, but after removing all of my clothes and cutting myself several times, I realized I couldn’t even control whether I lived or died. Some god I turned out to be.
To try to make things better, I moved out of town and into the cemetery. At least there, I couldn’t hurt anybody. The stench was fitting for what I had become. My life stunk. It was hell. One of the tombstones was for my father. I know when he died, he was ashamed of me. He was embarrassed for what I had become. At least he couldn’t see to what depth I had sunk. You know, I think every son, no matter what, wants their father to be proud of them. I never gave my father a reason to be.
Then, one day, I saw a boat heading toward me. I couldn’t believe it because no one ever came from the other side. And why would they come here? Hadn’t they heard about the evil man that lived in the cemetery? “Are they crazier than me?” I thought. They must have wanted trouble. Well, that’s certainly what they were about to get, and a lot of it.
I ran towards the boat as it landed. I was stopped in my tracks as soon as I saw the face of the first one out of the boat. I knew I had never seen this man before, yet something inside me knew him all too well, and with one look into his eyes, I could tell he knew me. I also got the distinct feeling he knew I had become possessed by many demons.
Those who were traveling with him jumped out of the boat with fury when they saw me approaching him. They yelled, “Jesus, no! Back away from that man!” I guess they thought I was going to hurt him, but I wasn’t, for before me stood a man who was not afraid of me or the demons inside me. I had never witnessed such confidence and peace from another individual. For the first time in a long time, I felt as though somebody had control of the situation. There was calmness in the air, but at that time, I had no idea it would soon come to me.
He asked me my name, but I was unable to speak for myself. The head demon inside of me spoke for me and said, “I am Legion. For there are many of us inside of him.” It was weird to me that I had no clue who was speaking to me, but the demons knew him. I could feel their fear swelling up inside of me. I think they knew their time had come to an end.
Jesus then began to call them out of me, but as he did, Legion quickly spoke up. He said to Jesus, “Wait! Don’t just send us out of him and back to hell. There is a group of pigs over there. At least allow us to enter those pigs.” I’m not really sure why he agreed, but he did. He commanded the demons out of me and allowed them to go into the pigs. I fell to my knees immediately. I felt so weak. Jesus commanded those with him to get a blanket, start a fire, and prepare dinner. As for the pigs, as soon as the demons entered them, the pigs began to squeal and took off, running for a high cliff that overlooked the sea. I thought for sure the pigs would stop as they approached, for they are relatively smart animals, but they didn’t. Right over the cliff, they went. Their handlers took off running for the town out of fear from what had just happened.
I guess those pig ranchers got to town pretty fast because the next thing I knew, a lot of people were coming upon us. When they arrived, they saw me sitting by the fire, eating and laughing with Jesus and his disciples. They couldn’t believe I was so calm. When they overcame their disbelief, they told how the pig ranchers came running into town and told them all that had happened. I think the townspeople were relieved I was acting like a human being again instead of like a demon, but then they had the nerve to get mad at Jesus for killing a large group of pigs. In fact, they were so angry that they asked him and his followers to leave immediately and never come back to their side of the sea again.
I would have thought they would have accepted him and begun to worship him as I had. It’s funny to me how people want the miracles of Jesus but not the lifestyle of Jesus. I enjoyed my new freedom. I had such a peace within me. It took me a long time to understand that by surrendering my life, I actually found life. I stayed on that side of the sea for the rest of my life. I knew that the others who lived there needed Jesus as well, and as badly as I had, even if they didn’t realize it. When those who knew me saw the change, it was easy to give them the reason for my conversion. I’m so glad that on the day of my transformation, Jesus told his disciples, “Let’s go to the other side.” I hope what I tried to do for him after that day made it worth it. I know it was for me.
(The actual account can be found in the Bible. Mark 5:1-20)
If you have never had your own encounter with Jesus Christ, know that you can. He is waiting for you to accept his offer of forgiveness for your sins. With that begins a relationship that brings hope, encouragement, comfort, and guidance with the added bonus of eternal life. Along the way, you can ask for help with anything. Problems in life, relationships, and healing. Having a relationship with Jesus is the best thing you will ever do with your life. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are real. So are heaven and hell. There are no other alternatives. Encounter Jesus and change your life.
Copyright © 2025 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.
