How to Break Up With Your Hairdresser

Are you one of those women who schedule the next hair appointment the minute you hand your credit card or cash to your hairdresser? Do you record the appointment on your calendar four, six, or eight weeks in the future?

Most of us do. We want to make sure to save our space because our hairdresser is a very busy woman, man, or whatever. The good ones usually are. Busy, that is.

After a few months, or years, there becomes an unspoken agreement that you will automatically be penciled in the calendar for the next appointment.

What happens when the quality of your hairstyle begins to decline? You asked for a little trim and she cut off four inches. The highlights you normally get look more like a skunk’s stripe.

You’re quick to forgive the first time, because, after all, you’ve been a client for ages.

The second time, you’re not so sure.

The third time, well, you’re starting to think about how to break up. She assumes you will schedule your next appointment, and you do, but you’re trying to come up with an excuse to cancel.

• “I’m going out of town. Indefinitely.”
• “My dog swallowed a chicken bone and I have to take him to the vet.”
• “I have COVID.” (convenient!)

Here’s where it gets tricky. How do you avoid the “Let’s reschedule” conversation? You’ll need to have a fool-proof way to get out of rescheduling. Here are some examples:

• “My work schedule changed and the only time I’ll be available is at 2:00. AM.”
• “I got laid off and I can’t afford to get my hair done.” This only works if your hairdresser is not a generous soul who will offer to do your hair for free until you find a job.
• “I’ve decided to stop coloring and cutting my hair. I’m getting in touch with my hippie side.”
• “I’m joining a convent.” (Or a cult)

Consider brainstorming some excuses with your friends or significant other until you find something that works.

Or you could just do what I did. Move out of state.

Fact-check: This is NOT why I moved from California to Oregon.