How to Love Your Neighbor Who Struggles With Depression - Amy Lively
Basically, depression feels like being alone, like nothing matters, and like nothing will help change that. On top of that your brain is lost in some weird fog and your thoughts are mush, so even trying to focus on the tasks you should be doing is challenging.
“But you look fine!”
Yes, I realize that. If I started stabbing my face with a fork until I’m disfigured, would that help?
You can’t see high blood pressure or headaches or fibromyalgia either. I’m not trying to be snarky, it’s just the truth.
The crazy thing, though, is occasionally some things will override the intensity of depression. Sometimes you can keep going just because the responsibility of having kids overrides the feeling that nothing matters (i.e. you might not matter, but your kids do). Sometimes having someone in your space, helping out, can override the loneliness and can’t-do-anything mentality. Sometimes kindness overrides the dark fog that seemed impermeable moments before.
Depression doesn’t make sense. It’s a terribly frustrating thing to live with, and I know it has to be challenging to live with someone who deals with it.
But don’t stop trying to help. Don’t stop getting in that space and being helpful. We will get out of that dark hole, eventually, and kindness makes it that much easier to try.
And please, keep bringing the hope and light and grace of Jesus into the darkness of depression–we need tangible reminders of His hands and feet. Sometimes it’s hard to remember which way is up when you’ve been “down” for so long.
