How to Make Permanent Changes-
Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexual, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor those habitually drunk, nor verbal abusers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God- 1st Corinthians 6:9b-11 NASB
Christianity is a good news bad news kind of a deal.
The bad news of Christianity is that people are fallen and super sinful (Genesis 3) and because God loves people He does not want anyone to stay that way (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:17-24, John 3:16). Sin is the most harmful thing in the universe. If it is allowed to run wild it ALWAYS leads to our eternal destruction (Romans 6:23, 2ndThessalonians 1:7-9, Revelation 21:8).
The good news of Christianity is that anyone who submits their life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ will be saved from the penalty of sin (hell) and given the supernatural ability (through the power of the Holy Spirit) to change (Acts 2:21, Titus 2:11-12, 2nd Timothy 1:9, Hebrews 9:28). The Holy Spirit empowers Christ followers to change their outward behavior AND their hearts. The result is that anyone who submits themselves to the Lordship of Jesus can actually become like Jesus from the inside out (2nd Corinthians 2:10, 2nd Corinthains 5:17, James 1:4, Hebrews 5:12-14). It’s a beautiful thing.
Unfortunately.
We live in a weird world where many people, even many Christians behave as if they don’t really believe real and lasting change possible, even for Christians (Romans 6:11, 1st Corinthians 1:2, 2nd Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 2:1-9). This view has oozed into how churches do discipleship and deal with sin. It has become disturbingly common for churches and church leaders to just expect new Christians to live as they have always lived. Repentance is rarely discussed, therefore many folks who identify as “serious Christians” have sex with people they are not married to, dishonor their parents, commit fraud or are greedy, selfish, jealous, unforgiving, slanderous, rude, arrogant and ungrateful (2nd Timothy 3:1-3).
All very sinful and not okay for God’s holy people (1st Peter 2:9-11).
No where is this situation better demonstrated than with a theology infiltrating many otherwise solid Christian churches. This theology is known as Side B. Side B teaches a person can be a Christian and identify as a gay person if they don’t have sex with someone of the same gender.
What?
Since when is that okay? Christians do not identify as their sin. This is no different than saying it’s okay to be a gossipy Christian, a Christian thief or a lying Christian. God calls His people to change. It is not okay to settle for a consecrated version of our old sinful self. Change is never easy, however if a person is in Christ, it is possible if we do the following:
Understand and live out our new identity-
If a person is a Christian, their identity is as a follower of Jesus Christ. Period. Even things like our sex, race and country of origin are no longer our primary identify (Galatians 3:26-29). It is definitely not okay to find our identity in our sexual preferences, our worst sin or our most regrettable personality trait (Romans 8:1). Believers in Jesus are a new creation in Christ (Colossians 1:1-3, Colossians 3:3, Ephesians 2:19). Understanding and owning this new identity empowers us to live out our new self, made in the image of Jesus.
Own the problem-
We must own our sin and call it out as sin. We cannot pretend we are without sin nor can we act as if our sin isn’t wrong if want to have any hope of real and lasting change (1st John 1:8-10). God is unspeakably gracious, kind and patient with us (Psalm 86:15, Psalm 116:5, Romans 8:32, 2nd Peter 3:9). He will meet us where we at as long as we confess our sin as sin. Being real and honest with ourselves, God and our closest Christian friends concerning our sin is a first step towards receiving the power we need to make permanent changes (James 5:16).
Don’t wait for desires to catch up with behavior-
Over and over again God tells us to behave in a manner that reflects repentance and salvation whether we feel like it or not (Matthew 3:8, Acts 26:20b, 2nd Peter 1:5-11, Colossians 3). This isn’t because God wants to torture us, it’s because He understands how our brains work. God knows that changing our behavior changes the neural pathways in our brains. As our neural pathways change, we develop a desire to keep doing the things that have created those new pathways. Unfortunately, many folks wait for their desires to change before they deal with bad behavior. This pretty much ensures we will never experience real and lasting change.
Get some help-
A pastor, mature Christian friend or a Christian counselor can help us to figure out why we do what we do (Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 15:22). Behavior has roots. A person may struggle with greed because they experienced poverty as a child. A woman may look to men for affirmation because she didn’t get healthy affirmation from her dad. A person may struggle with addiction because they want to forget a traumatic event. These experiences do not excuse our sin. However, understanding the why of our sin does help us to change it. Think about a behavior you have that you want to change and then pray for wisdom (1st Kings 22:5, Psalm 16:7). Spend some time thinking about what happened in your past that might make you prone to that behavior. Then run your thoughts past God, a friend, counselor and/or a pastor. It will not be long before you have a better handle on that behavior.
And finally:
Ask God to do what you cannot do-
There are simply some things we cannot do on our own. Change is one of those things, and that’s okay. God does not want us to the Christian life on our own, in our own power and strength (Philippians 4:13). He wants us to ask Him for help. He wants to partner with us on our journey (John 15:1-27, Philippians 2:12-13, Hebrews 13:20-21). It’s how we grow closer to Him and become all He calls us to be (Philippians 1:6).
