Mom’s Anxiety: Am I Doing Enough?

The moment I knew I was pregnant, my whole world turned upside down. It’s like everything I do is always for my child's good. Then, when he came out to the world, the level of excitement and anxiety seemed equal. Sometimes, the fear is much bigger than the thrill.

I even asked my mom to bathe my baby for the first time because I was so afraid of drowning him, or If I didn’t do the right thing, I might hurt him.

Honestly, no one prepared me for becoming a mom. My parents sent me to a quality university to fulfill my dreams but never to become a mom. So, most women like me are more anxious than excited about starting our motherhood journey.

Although true, as they say, a woman’s mother’s instinct will automatically come out once they become a mom, but still, we cannot stop ourselves from asking, “Am I doing enough?”

According to the What To Expect website, more than two-thirds of mothers say that they are suffering from anxiety. 35% of them reported their condition levels as moderate to severe.

They added that Gen Z moms had a higher level of anxiety than millennial mothers. The website explains that the desire to be a “perfect parent” contributes to stress.

More so, it is one of the primary causes of a mom’s fear of not doing enough for their children or family despite doing everything they can for them. I could sometimes blame our culture for the fact that it is easy for people to criticize mothers for the flaws they see without appreciating the sacrifices of a mom.

As moms, our anxieties about not doing enough make us feel guilty and feel bad. It paralyzes us from becoming the better version of ourselves to become a better mom. And even a wife. 

However, the good news is that God called you to become a mother because He knows you are capable despite your shortcomings.

Read More: How God sustains my motherhood

In the past three years of being a first-time mom, I realized I will never be perfect because I am imperfect. Yet, with God’s grace and love, I know I can be enough to love and sacrifice everything I can selflessly for the sake of my son.

I have learned that we are so anxious about our ability to do enough for our children that we tend to become more unproductive since our minds cannot function well. The more we allow fear to devour us, the less we can do for kids.

Anxiety does not result in productivity, and if we want to be the best and do our best for our children, we must decide to eliminate our worries. Is that possible for mothers like us to heal from our anxieties? 

With our strength, no. But with God, nothing is impossible. Let me share with you the Bible verses that I am holding on to as I walk in this journey of motherhood.

“I can do all this through him, who strengthens me.”- Philippians 4:13

This verse was the Scripture I had in mind while giving birth to my son. I kept on saying this verse in my mind as I had one of the most painful experiences in my life. I never thought I could overcome and even have a normal delivery, yet that situation alone made me believe I could not do it without God.

Then, when my baby was born, there were days when I asked myself if I could be a good mom, but God always reminded me that I was capable and able with Him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”- Matthew 11:28

Although our children give us undefined joy, we cannot deny that motherhood is tiring and gives us burnout in life. Imagine carrying them in your womb for nine months, then once they come out, your role as a mom is never-ending. 

Motherhood is not a bed of roses at all. With all the things we have in our minds and all the things we have to do for our kids, it could drain us. But Jesus said we could always come to Him when we are so exhausted, and then He could give us rest. 

Whenever I felt so drained with heavy burdens, I came to God and just prayed and read His words. I would always find the kind of rest that is more than what a good cup of coffee could give.

The rest that comes from God is peace amidst the chaos in our minds and around us. Nothing could ever be compared to the kind of rest only Jesus Christ could give. 

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.”- Isaiah 40:31

When we are anxious, we become tired and hopeless. As moms who always do their best for their children, we are not excused for becoming exhausted and weak. However, the Bible says those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. 

Since we always want to do not just enough but more for our children, we need strength from God so we will not grow weary. Whenever we feel tired of becoming anxious, we turn to God and hope in Him.

I have consistently proven in my motherhood journey that God will never disappoint those who hope in Him. The more we hope in Him, the more we humbly surrender to the things out of our control as parents. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”- Philippians 4:6

As moms, we cannot help but to be anxious even in small things. I remember panicking whenever my son crawled near the stairs or the first time he fell while trying to walk. Sometimes, whenever he sleeps, I stare at him and wonder how we could provide for his needs, especially when he is sick.

Yet, God wants us to turn to Him in every situation, giving thanks for the privilege of becoming a mom and requesting that He sustain us as we do our role. 

“I took you from the ends of the earth; from its farthest corners, I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.” - Isaiah 41:9

When anxiety hits you and makes you doubt your calling as a mom, remember that God has taken you from the ends of the earth and called you. Becoming God’s servant is doing our role as mothers.

God did not command us to become perfect mothers because He understands our flaws. But He had chosen us because He trusted us. Never doubt yourself as a mom because God never had a second thought when He desires you to raise your children.

The bottom line is it is okay to feel anxious because, as a mom, we only want the best for our kids. But what is not okay is that we let our anxieties rule over our being, making us question our mothers' capabilities.

God did not design you to become an anxious mom but to become a mom who is dependent on Him.