My Interview with Gina M. Poirier - EncouragementMama.com
You would think, now that my kids are nearly grown and I’m a blessed Nana of four scrumptious grandbabies, I would know everything there is to know about parenting.
But then, I read these authentic words from a beautiful mom who is willing to share her struggles, her insights, and her heart with the rest of us, and I am thankful, once again, that the Lord continues to teach me.
Today on the blog, I’d like to introduce Gina M. Poirier, from ginampoirier.com. Her tagline, Wiping Noses for Jesus is Legit, is probably one of the most whimsical and authentic taglines out there. Love it!
Gina is a happily married mom of three, stress management coach and writer who helps overwhelmed, exhausted moms find peace and purpose in the everyday.
She is going to get real with all of us today and talk about the negative impact that worry has on our parenting. As much as we’d like to believe that our stress goes unnoticed by our kiddos, Gina makes some good points about how intuitive our kids really are and how we can better deal with worry.
So, for all of you mamas out there, trying to keep it all together, get your notepads ready for some timely advice from Gina.
How Reactive Worry Is a Barrier to Openness With Our Kids
Jennifer: Hi, Gina, thank you so much for being a guest on my blog. I know that everyone reading this is going to learn something precious and valuable from you.
As you know, worry affects everyone from time to time. However, chronic worry is a stronghold that can wreak havoc on a person’s relationships. From your experience, how does persistent worry damage or influence the parenting relationship?
Gina: I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that as a perfectionist, I struggle with worry and anxiety on a daily basis. My biggest fear is failure. I can succumb to the lie that if I’m not careful to do everything just right, all the plates I balance as a wife, homemaker, parent and person will come crashing down. With my kids, my fear is that I will let them down and that later in life they won’t make godly choices.
Due to my fears, I can quickly grow irritable and exhibit no grace in my parenting when my household isn’t firing on all cylinders. Ironically, while my fear is that they’ll lose their faith, by snapping at them and exasperating them with my expectations, I’m certainly not helping them. My kids start perceiving that their value comes from their performance, rather than seeing that my love for them is unconditional.
Jennifer: I love that you pointed out the whole “performance” issue. And you are absolutely right—when we have unreasonable expectations, we can easily send the wrong signal to our kids that our love is based on how they perform. Thank you for pointing that out.
What are some outward signs that worry is having a negative impact on our parenting?
Gina: I know that I’ve pushed my kids too hard with my worries and concerns when my kids start closing me off and aren’t honest with me about what they’re thinking and feeling.
It breaks my heart whenever I confront one of my kids about something they’ve been hiding—whether it’s a behavior issue or an opinion that differs from mine—and they’re afraid to be honest with me. While no one wants to get in trouble, I always want to be a person of safety. When they’re afraid that I’ll respond in an unreasonable, hurtful way, it can be an indicator that perhaps I have been too reactive in my worries.
[bctt tweet=”“When my kids are afraid that I’ll respond in an unreasonable way, it can be an indicator that perhaps I have been too reactive in my worries.” ~Gina M. Poirier ” username=”JenniferRWaddle”]
Jennifer: Do you have any Bible passages that may help those of us who are struggling with worry in our parenting?
Gina: 1 Corinthians 12:9 is probably one of my favorite scriptures overall when it comes to my fears and worries, as it helps me be okay with my weaknesses and failings as a parent:
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
My fear is that I will fail my kids. And the truth is: of course I will fail my kids! Fortunately, I am not their God; God is. And when they see my weaknesses—all my glorious shortcomings—hopefully, they will see just how powerful the grace of God is.
I have a few more verses that help me: 10 Bible Verse on Anxiety—for the Mama Who Fears Failure
Jennifer: Thank you for those verses! I can’t wait to check them out. Now, Gina, what would be your number one ACTION tip for overcoming worry?
Gina: Whenever I’m getting anxious to the point where I’m reacting negatively against my kids, I actually have a little 5-step process that helps me regain perspective:
You can read more about this process here: How I Manage Anxiety with 5 Calming Steps
Jennifer: Wow, Gina, I really like how you tackle the root issues of your worry. Those questions we should ask ourselves are so important for eliminating undue stress and anxiety.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with us worriers?
Gina: The biggest mental shift I’ve made is that my kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a mom who loves God and loves them. That is all I have to remember on those days I feel like we’re not measuring up.
[bctt tweet=”“The biggest mental shift I’ve made is that my kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a mom who loves God and loves them.” ~Gina M. Poirier ” username=”JenniferRWaddle”]
Jennifer: I truly could not have said that better. Loving God and loving our kids really is enough, isn’t it? When we follow God’s greatest commandment–with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength, EVERYTHING else falls in line.
Gina, thank you so much for giving us some fantastic advice for dealing with worry so our kids don’t have to. I really appreciate your willingness to be a guest on my blog and participate in this series on worry.
To learn more about Gina and her ministry, hop over to ginampoirier.com and sign up for her free “StressLESS” email course. There, you’ll also find more free resources for Christian moms. You can also connect with Gina on Facebook and Instagram.
*For those of you who have taken advantage of my recent blog interviews and gathered all the resources you can get on how to deal with worry, I’d love to hear about some ways the Lord is working in your life.
How has He been speaking to your heart lately?
What truths has God revealed to you through His Word?
What resources have helped you shut worry out and let truth in?
If you’ve missed parts of this blog series, you can get caught up here and here. Thanks for reading this post to the end. I sure do appreciate all of you!
Always an email away,
Jennifer
