An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach….
-I Timothy 3:2, NASB
Some cheaters have absolutely no shame.
They get caught and retroactively try to make it look like it was and is okay. Maybe they suggest an open marriage? Maybe they suggest a polygamous or polyamorous relationship?
This–of course–after the fact of agree to monogamy and violating said agreement with the faithful spouse.
A particularly creative and religiously inclined cheater might even suggest polygamy pointing to the Patriarchs as well as Jewish kings–e.g. David and Solomon–in the Bible as his model. They did it, and it wasn’t explicitly condemned; so…
So, today’s post is dedicated to refuting that pathetic excuse a religious cheater might try to use to “justify” his or her infidelity:
1. Jesus presents godly marriage as monogamous.
We can see this in his teachings regarding divorce (see Matthew 19, Mark 10, etc). He references Genesis 2:24 as indicative of God’s plan for marriage. It is a monogamous picture.
Adam married Eve. He did not marry Eve, Olga, and Lena. Just Eve.
2. Christian leaders are supposed to have only one wife–see I timothy 3:2.
This is in contrast with a culture where polygamy was obviously known. Some pastors take this to mean being a faithful spouse. Yet, I would also point to it as a clear refutation of the idea that God finds polygamy as a morally acceptable practice for His people.
3. Breaking one’s marriage vows–i.e. “to forsake all others“–is not acceptable to God.
The marriage vow to be exclusive was made with both God and the other spouse (see Malachi 2:14). So, whenever a spouse breaks that vow of exclusivity, he or she is breaking a vow with God as well. He or she is defiling the marriage bed and ought to expect Divine Judgment for doing so–see Hebrews 13:4.
A godly Christian is not left with the option of polyamory or polygamy. That is not God’s plan for marriage. Even if it was, that still does not resolve the problem that the cheater has already violated his or her marriage vows.
No, polygamy is not a godly option!
*A version of this post ran previously.