Releasing Friends: Letting Go of Friendship - Grit & Grace
Why is saying goodbye to a friendship so difficult? Somehow, I foolishly think that if I’m being a faithful friend, and I’ve surrounded myself with faithful friendships, that I somehow will avoid having to say goodbye to those friendships. I know, it’s naive and foolish. But shouldn’t faithful friendship imply that we’re in it for the long haul? Releasing friendship is a painful lesson I’m still struggling to learn.
“Parting is such sweet sorrow.”
William Shakespeare
A time to hold on and a time to let go.
This is probably my biggest challenge with friendships. How do I know when it’s time to hold on or it’s time to let go? I go back and forth with this all the time. When do I press in? When do I back off?
Despite the back and forth, there have definitely been times when I’ve just known that it was time to say goodbye. When the countless attempts at connection are met with silent indifference. The friends you shared the most intimate parts of your heart with. People you thought would be around forever. Friendships you poured everything you had into to build a relationship to stand the test of time. You lose people you never thought you’d have to let go of.
“The mistake we made so many years ago when we learned about friendship was believing that every friend was meant to remain for good.” Hannah Brencher
That time I let go of everybody.
Yep, you read that right. In my quest to figure out when it makes sense to press in and when it’s best to let go, and the best ways to do that, I stumbled across a post from a fellow blogger. She talked about why she unfriended every one of her Facebook friends.
Now don’t hear what I’m not saying. Facebook is not the enemy. Social media is not the bad guy in this scenario. But I honestly began to question my relationship with certain aspects of it, and how I could use it more intentionally.
Would this help me be more intentional and faithful in my friendships? I wondered if this would help me in my quest for real connections. Faithful friendship. Friendship that would require me to let go, releasing the need to know so many things about so many people. Releasing the need to stay connected to people I wasn’t truly in friendship with.
It was tough, but after much inner debate, consideration, and prayer, I decided to take the plunge. I unfriended everyone on Facebook. My suspicions were correct. Not being “friends” on Facebook only impacted friendships that weren’t the real deal. Sad to say, there were quite a few that I was pretty sure were the real deal, only to see them slip away once that social media connection was lost. But in the long run, letting go allowed me to hold on to the friendships that really mattered.
Unfriending everyone on Facebook is not for everybody. As I mentioned before, Facebook is not the enemy. It’s just one step that helped me on my mission to pursue faithful friendship. Pressing in by letting go. Saying goodbye and letting go in order to press in where it matters most.
Becky is a Miami native, and has lived here all of her life. Married to her husband for over 20 years, they lead a very active lifestyle along with their three teenagers and Riley, their rescue dog. Becky loves to teach, and has had the awesome privilege of home educating her children for over twelve years. When not teaching academics, Becky loves to equip, encourage, and empower women through the teaching of her group fitness classes. Becky and her husband lead various ministries, and their family loves to serve the community through the countless opportunities provided over the past twenty years+ in their local church. She enjoys filling her "free" time with reading, writing, watching movies, and just spending time with the family. Becky has a passion for living her life with grit and grace, and encouraging others to do the same.
