SATURDAY SURVIVOR CHRONICLES: Sweet Dreams are Made of These - The DV Walking Wounded:
I was driving to work a bit of overtime this morning, and the thought hit me…
My sweet, calmer, productive life that I have now is something that ‘abused Laura’ wished for and dreamed about….
That is completely crazy! When I was in active abuse over eight years ago, I couldn’t fathom the freedoms that I have now…
- I drive a sporty Ford Fusion hybrid in my favorite color of green. It’s paid for, by me (no car note). My abusive Ex didn’t like green cars and absolutely hated Fords. Any car I drove needed prior approval and then we had to finance it because he required that we look more upscale than we were; had to keep up appearances!
- I read when and where and what I want. My abusive Ex kept me too busy to read. When I was able to sit down to read, they needed to be “pre-approved” self-help books because I was clearly and constantly a “work-in-progress,” according to him. He would tell everyone about my “issues.” He was my one and only issue, in real life.
- I got ready on time to go work overtime at my federal job this morning. I would have NEVER been allowed to work at a federal job, because he was super suspicious of the US government. Also, I currently have to endure background checks periodically (federal/state/local) in my federal position, and during the last massive background search, my interviewer asked if I had ANY association with my Ex. I told her “absolutely not!” “Good,” she replied. “There are notations on your file about his character and dealings.” *GULP!* Sounds like I dodged more than I actually knew. Whew! Happily maintaining *no contact* since 2017!
- My children are now all grown and on their own. I used to minimize my existence to protect and nurture them. Now I have time to concentrate on me and my guy and our grand-babies! #blessed
- There were chores I left undone this morning, to complete later today, so I wouldn’t be late getting to work. My abusive Ex would’ve called and bugged me at work so much I wouldn’t have been able to get anything done — probably also getting me in trouble with my employer. Today, I got so much done that I’m in good shape for work on Monday! Now to complete my undone chores!
- I am starting to feel so good after my recent hip surgeries. My abusive Ex would’ve never supported me to get them done or take care of me like my Honey did. I would’ve still been in pain and tortured beyond. I had to exist on pain meds for a year, to get to the point that I am now. I am pain med free with new, bionic hips. Just trying to get back physically to where I was even a year ago and I will!
Just grateful that I realized how far I had come, to obtain my peaceful, simple life. I don’t need to be rich or ostentatious or famous. I crave quiet and calm and satisfaction with what God granted me. It’s everything I hoped for and I adore it! I am beyond blessed and want to convey that survival, on your own terms, IS POSSIBLE!
