SATURDAY SURVIVOR CHRONICLES: A Nightmarish Situation - The DV Walking Wounded:

I had a disturbing dream early this morning: I was in bed with my ex-huband, not realizing it until I woke up inside my dream. He was thanking me for getting back together, stating that we’d be great together going forward. I looked down and my youngest child (he’s 18 currently) was a baby who wanted to snuggle, lying in between us like he would when he was that age. I physically hurt in my dream (probably because I was hurting in real-time) and my ex-husband would not allow me to get out of bed. I wanted to know where my current significant other was and how I went back in time. I think this was the craziest dream I have had in a while, probably brought on because I didn’t take my nighttime meds and from all the stress I’ve had recently trying to get the house I own in order and my youngest established on his own.

You see, the house I was abused in, I am trying to sell. There should be NO legal issues doing this, but my Ex is doing his best to be a disruptor. It has triggered me in ways I did NOT expect. I am currently dealing with the fall out, so that has been stressful. I think that is the catalyst be hind this dream.

Another issue that has been snapping at my subconscious is the fact that my youngest is an adult, has graduated high school, has a nearly full-time job, and we are trying to get him into an apartment of his own. He’s on the Autism spectrum, so we’ve had some issues and hiccups — but I don’t give up (although he might sometimes). I have had to put things in place, for his benefit, as well as establish boundaries for myself in regard to helping him. I think that is why the baby version of him is in my dream; essentially, I feel both guilt and sadness for what’s going on with him. I am doing my best to get him established, but in a way where he will pickup the torch and keep advocating and doing great things for himself. However, it doesn’t matter how old he is, I apparently still want to snuggle and protect him.

Needless to say, I still consulted my book of dream interpretations, but honestly did not find it helpful. I then decided, with the invention of AI, that there had to be an AI dream interpreter. Boy, I was NOT disappointed!

So, I found Dream Interpreter AI. It’s free to use and to setup an account with, so I did so VERY quickly. I typed in the description of my dream. Within about a minute, it came up with a vivid interpretation, which I was mostly impressed by. Here’s what it stated: Dreams about ex-partners can often be complex, as they may intertwine feelings of nostalgia, unresolved emotions, and current life circumstances. In this dream, several key elements emerge that can provide insight into your subconscious thoughts and feelings.

1. Being in Bed with Your Ex-Husband: This could symbolize a deep-seated longing for familiarity or comfort. Beds often represent intimacy and personal connection, which may signal unresolved feelings you have regarding your past relationship. The act of waking up mid-dream suggests a sudden realization or awakening to a new understanding—possibly about your past or current emotional state.
2. Ex-Husband’s Gratitude: His thanking you for getting back together could illustrate your own desire for closure or reconciliation with him, even if only on an emotional level. It may reflect a need to acknowledge positive aspects of that relationship, or it could indicate feelings of blame or guilt about how things ended. The statement that you’d “be great together going forward” indicates a desire for a supportive partnership; this could imply a longing for security and openness in relationships, particularly in your current life.
3. Your Youngest Child as a Baby: The presence of your child in this dream may represent innocence, vulnerability, and love. The desire for your baby to snuggle implies a nurturing instinct, reinforcing your role as a caregiver. This aspect of the dream might also highlight your priorities and responsibilities, as well as a longing for simpler times when you felt more connected to your children or when life felt more secure.
4. Feeling Hurt and Being Restrained: The pain you experienced in the dream suggests that there may be unresolved feelings or emotional burdens that you carry, either from your past relationship or in your current life. Your ex-husband not allowing you to get out of bed could indicate feelings of being trapped or controlled—perhaps by past experiences or your current relationship dynamics. It may also reflect a fear of moving on or an inability to break free from past patterns.
5. Concern About Your Current Significant Other: The question of where your current partner is highlights feelings of uncertainty or doubt in your current relationship. This might indicate a need for reassessment of your current situation, wanting clarity about where you stand, both in terms of emotional connection and commitment. Your subconscious may be grappling with the compatibility of your past and present.
6. Back in Time: The element of time travel in your dream signifies a desire to revisit aspects of your past, possibly in an effort to resolve unfinished business or to find a way to integrate lessons learned into your current life. It could reflect a yearning to regain a sense of lost time, perhaps lamenting opportunities missed in love or family.

In summary, your dream suggests a deep reflection on your past relationships and desires for connection, comfort, and security. It indicates a potential conflict between past attachments and present reality, highlighting the emotional complexities of love, motherhood, and personal growth. The feelings of being hurt and wanting to escape signify a need for clarity and healing, both from past pains and current uncertainties. Engaging in open communication with yourself and your current partner may help address these underlying emotions and facilitate personal growth moving forward.

The only thing that I do NOT agree with is the assessment of my concerns about my significant other. He is my “safe” person and in the dream, I clearly did not feel safe and wanted to know where he was, despite looking around and seeing that I went back in time to a point where we did reconcile temporarily, after a separation. I think dream-me didn’t even care that my Ex-husband might even accuse me of being “unfaithful.” He always did that and I think it shows growth on my part that I was trying to wake myself up by speaking reality pieces into my dream. My BF and I get along well, rarely disagree, and are compatible. He is definitely my best friend and soul mate. The fact that he wasn’t there, bothered me greatly. When I woke up, my physical body hurt (because it was time to take my AM meds) and my BF was not in bed with me.

As for “unresolved feelings” about my Ex, I am not longing to return to him AT ALL. I think that I am upset that he has tortured me in the past, and is continuing to do so. There are SO many apologies that I am due, that I will NEVER receive. I also became anxious when it seemed that I would have to contact him directly to get a legal document signed. I almost told the company wanting to purchase my house to “forget it.” The thought of hearing his voice again made me feel as though I thought I was going to vomit. I had a few panic attacks, but still managed to go see his former attorney to see if they had a document that I needed for this endeavor. No avenue that I have tried has worked, but I’ve come up with some alternatives if he continues to refuse to sign the “quit claim deed.” Please pray for me. Regardless, the tie gets cut by me one way or the other, as I will NOT be toyed with like a cat playing with a dying mouse. I no longer roll over and submit. Nope, not “future” Laura.

So, tonight, I will remember to take my evening meds on time, especially the one that knocks me the hell out. No more dreams like this! Sheesh!

Love and light and peaceful sleep! <3