Some Wives Never Leave Their Cheating Husbands For These 10 Reasons - Olubunmi Mabel
Someone once said, “Cheating is not one of the ups and downs in a relationship,” and I agree.
When you’re advised to stick by your partner through thick and thin and not leave them just because of ups and downs, that doesn’t include cheating
Your partner cheating on you is not a difficult thing that happened to you both, it’s a difficult thing that they brought on your relationship with their own hands.
Cheating, especially when it’s done repeatedly, shows that your partner doesn’t respect you.
Many times, the natural response from most people is to leave that marriage.
Some people can’t handle the hurt and betrayal they feel after they get cheated on, so they opt out.
But that’s not the case with everyone, other people stay back regardless of the number of times they get cheated on.
Before you call them all sorts of names, you should understand their reasons first.
Things aren’t always clear-cut in life, and people have different motives and reasons for their actions and decisions.
It’s not always just yes or no; there are maybes too.
You may be wondering like I used to wonder, why some women never seem to leave their cheating husbands no matter how many women they catch them with.
I’ll tell you why.
Some Wives Never Leave Their Cheating Husbands For These 10 Reasons:
1. They are in love
Love indeed makes the world go round in many beautiful and sometimes strange ways.
People do stuff that they otherwise wouldn’t do in the name of love for their partner.
Some wives stick with their cheating husbands despite everything because they’re still deeply in love with them.
The thing about love for some people is that it isn’t easily switched off, even after betrayal.
These women still feel a deep sense of connection and fondness for their husbands so they stay even when he’s a philanderer.
Of course, there are reasons to doubt this sort of proclaimed love, and quite honestly, while these women may think they’re in love, it may not be that.
They may feel other things that look like love but aren’t love.
Perhaps it’s just their shared history, how much they’ve invested in the marriage, and how they’ve built their lives together that makes them feel an unbreakable bond with that man.
They’re finding it hard to walk away from the years of sacrifices and togetherness, and they call it love.
2. “For better, for worse”
This phrase from the age-long traditional wedding vow is one that people interpret in different ways.
One of the interesting schools of thought is by women who interpret these words literally, seeing it as a sentence to life imprisonment.
I’m a big advocate for marriage, togetherness, and happily ever after, I believe that marriages should last forever, as long as both parties live.
But it is not a life sentence or a do-or-die affair that anyone should hold on to even when it’s clearly destroying them, their sanity, or their self-worth.
At least, that is how I see it.
Some wives, for personal or cultural and religious reasons, believe in the importance of staying in a marriage, come what may.
They belong to the same category as women who remain in abusive relationships and marriages just because they don’t believe in quitting their marriage or taking a break from it.
Sometimes, it’s just their mindset and they’re not going to leave no matter what happens.
Other times, the woman stays because she’s hopeful for a change.
Maybe it’s just this one time, and now that she caught him in the act, it is a wake-up call, and he’s truly sorry.
People deserve second chances, right?
3. They’re being manipulated
Manipulation is a powerful and dangerous tool wherever it’s being used; in workplaces, government, societies, and even relationships and marriage.
That a woman is sticking by her cheating husband no matter what does not mean that she desires to.
Sometimes, she’s just being manipulated to stay.
Some men are masters in the act of control and brainwashing.
They know how to play on emotions, making their wives feel guilty for even thinking about leaving.
They gaslight the woman so much that she almost believes that she’s crazy or the one at fault, it’s unbelievable.
A lady on TikTok shared her experience on how she stayed with her unrepentant cheating husband for years because he made her believe that he was being spiritually controlled to keep going into the arms of different women.
The man was a whole drama king, I mean, after every cheating episode, he would apologize, plead, and cry, telling her he had no idea how he got into bed with the other woman and many other tales by moonlight.
She kept falling for the manipulation until the scales fell off her eyes.
She realized that he was playing on her emotions and making her feel guilty for even considering leaving him.
This is a common tactic used by manipulative partners in toxic relationships.
They make their significant other believe that they are the problem, not them.
They twist the narrative to make themselves seem like the victim in every situation, and it can be easy to fall for it when you’re constantly bombarded with their emotional manipulation.
4. Poor sense of self
When a woman doesn’t think she’s much or deserves much, she’s satisfied with whatever she’s given.
She’ll take anything thrown at her, that’s what low self-esteem does to people.
When some wives stick by their husbands no matter what they do, it’s not always because they’re the portrait of a “virtuous woman” or they love the man too much to leave.
It’s sometimes just because they feel like they can’t do better or that they’re not worthy of love from someone else.
Some women even believe it’s their fault that their husband is cheating.
It’s either they think they’re not attractive enough or not good enough in bed.
This kind of self-deprecating mindset can lead to staying in unhealthy and toxic relationships, where the woman is constantly being mistreated and taken advantage of.
5. He’s their sustainer
It’s difficult to leave a man if you’re dependent on him for everything you need to survive.
Some women rely on their husbands for everything they need in life and the only thing he doesn’t provide for them is the air they breathe.
They’re not empowered enough to stand on their own financially, perhaps because they don’t have jobs or they lost it for some reason.
They rely on their husbands for everything and leaving might mean a significant drop in their standard of living.
That’s a scary thing to think about.
These women crave the stability they’re getting in the marriage, and despite the betrayal, they don’t know how to start their life over without him.
It’s a fear of the unknown that keeps them trapped in these toxic relationships.
They don’t see themselves walking out of the marriage, even if there’s a possibility of getting their job and meeting a better man, they’d rather not risk it.
What do they say again about a bird in hand?
Yeah, it’s worth 2 in the bush.
6. They don’t see cheating as an issue
You’re reading this article because you see cheating as an issue that people should fight in their marriage, but not everyone shares those sentiments.
An unfaithful partner is a normal partner to some.
There are people, especially women who believe that it’s normal for their men to cheat on them.
These crop of women find it absurd to hear that a man is not itching to get into bed with every other woman they come across.
They believe it’s a normal thing for a man to be a player.
I’ve heard women say “What he does outside the house is not my business, as long as he’s providing for me and my kids, I don’t care.”
They believe that as long as their man is pulling his weight within the home, his cheating is not a problem.
This mindset often stems from their upbringing, the things they were exposed to, or their past experiences.
They believe that leaving a man because he cheated is like relocating from a place just because it’s raining, and it rains everywhere.
They don’t know that, first, that is a warped comparison to make, and second, even if it were a valid one, there are places like the Middle East and the desert where it doesn’t rain.
7. They don’t know where else to go
Some wives who remain with cheating husbands are genuinely tired and mentally done with the marriage, but they stay there regardless.
Why?
They don’t know where to go.
The day they walked down that aisle, they closed their minds to every other option.
Perhaps they quit their job, relocated, left their friends or family, or made drastic life-changing decisions to be with the man.
Now he’s cheating and the places she would have found solace are all closed.
She feels trapped by a lack of viable alternatives, whether it’s housing, employment, or support systems, making marriage the only option she sees.
8. Pressure
Sometimes, people’s thoughts and opinions influence us more than we’re willing to admit.
People make life-changing decisions based on other people’s biases and opinions.
Friends, family, and loved ones might be advising her to stay and work things out.
They say all sorts of things to make her believe that leaving the marriage or taking a break from it is not the way to go.
They pressure her to keep the marriage intact, even though she knows deep down that it’s not what she truly wants.
But in moments of doubt and uncertainty, their words can weigh heavily on her and add to the pressure she already feels.
This pressure makes many women stay in situations they’d rather walk away from.
9. They’re afraid
Fear is a major factor in situations like this.
As much as many people expect a woman to just up and leave when she gets cheated on, it’s a lot more complicated than that.
Some women are afraid of what may happen if they decide to leave.
They’re afraid of the possibility of being stigmatized by society and heavily judged by friends and family.
Others fear the man’s reaction and that the situation might escalate, making the man react negatively or even violently to them if they attempt to leave.
And to the greatest fear of all in situations like this – the fear of being alone.
The idea of starting over alone is daunting.
They’ve been with these men for so long that the thought of being single again is terrifying.
These fears and many others are usually stronger than the women’s resolve to walk away, it paralyzes them.
10. Children
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve either heard or read about women saying they stayed with a toxic or cheating husband for the sake of their children, I’d have lots of dollars.
Some women remain with their husbands no matter what he does because they don’t want their children to experience broken homes.
The thought of their children growing up without both parents together is too painful for them to bear.
They can’t bear to break up the family by leaving that man.
They don’t realize that when the man cheated, he already did the breaking himself.
One thing I’ve come to learn and understand about life is that you can’t always put everything in neat boxes.
Sometimes, things are not arranged or aligned according to the way we imagine them.
It’s easy to expect a woman to leave her husband if he cheats, especially if he does it repeatedly, and while that is even possibly the most logical, sane, and wise thing to do, some women just don’t do it.
At the end of the day, the decision to stay in a marriage after infidelity or walk away is a deeply personal choice, one that is influenced by a multitude of factors.
Everyone’s situation is unique, and decisions are often made based on a complex mix of considerations, some wise and practical and others not.
