Stick Your Nose in My Business, Please - Little Mama of Faith

Stick your nose in my business . . . please

Did I get your attention with that title? That’s not typically what we say, right? We generally don’t want people to get too nosey or ask too many questions about our personal business.

But I wonder if we sometimes try so hard not to be “nosey” that we end up failing to recognize that someone dear to us might be experiencing serious pain or facing a huge challenge and then missing the opportunity to love them and brighten their days even just a bit.

Trying to sense the deep, personal needs of others is coming to my mind a lot during these Covid-19 days. I’ve heard many stories of people feeling isolated and lonely. Let’s face it, social contact is limited for all of us, but even more so for some. Many people who have compromised immune systems, or loved ones who do, are concerned about catching the virus themselves and/or spreading it. So they seldom, if ever, venture out of their homes.

And besides the isolation from the pandemic, there are painful situations our friends and family may be facing – job loss, a broken marriage, a wayward child, anxiety, depression – and we may be absolutely clueless that they’re hurting, even if they’re standing right next to us.

Now granted, these aren’t issues we can easily “see” on a person. That is, we don’t walk around with signs on our chests announcing our heartaches and struggles, so they’re not physically visible. And we often go out of our way to keep them quiet for fear of what others will think and that they won’t understand.

But I wonder if maybe we should start being a little bit nosier…asking more questions, pausing longer to listen and allowing time for deep conversation (not just small talk). Being a little nosier.

I personally experienced a serious life crisis recently, and no one saw it. I was falling apart with depression and anxiety, and either I hid it very well, or else people saw it and were afraid to intrude by asking.

Luckily, I finally opened up to one, then two, then a few close friends/family members. And from there, I found a gradual healing. I knew all along that Jesus was there for me and still in control, but I desperately needed someone here on earth to sit with me, feel my hurts, listen, try to understand, and tell me I wasn’t losing my mind. I needed someone to walk with me through this difficult journey and reassure me that I’d make it to the other side.

I’m not blaming anyone for not seeing what was happening and reaching out to me. I realize it’s so easy for us to get caught up in our own worlds, so easy for the hurting to hide the pain, and so hard to open up and ask for help. I praise God I got the help I needed when I needed it most.

But I’m wondering, can we do better at this? Can we maybe reach someone before they hit rock bottom? Can we butt into their lives just enough to see them sinking and throw them a raft? Perhaps.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:4 (English Standard Version)

So starting now, I’m going to try to recognize when those close to me are hurting or even absent and make a point to reach out to them. I’ll start with some simple steps.

I’m going to think of people I haven’t seen for a while . . . maybe at church, in Sunday School, around work, old friends. And I’m going to call them to check on them. I’m going to ask them how they’re doing, and if their answers are only on the surface (“I’m fine. You?’), I’m going to dig further (“How’s your family? How are you and your spouse getting along in this pandemic? How are you feeling these days, emotionally and physically?”) Sure, it may sound nosey, and sure, they may tell me to bug off. Or . . . they just might open up and let me be the listening ear and comforting voice they’ve needed for a long time.

Lord, please point me to someone who really needs a friendly, caring human being to say, “You’ll get through this. I’ll be here. Call me whenever you need to talk, cry, or get together for a laugh.” Then work through my words and deeds to support and encourage her when she needs it most, just as You sent those who loved and encouraged me. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

Do you have an idea of where you could start to find and support someone in your life who needs it most? What steps might you take to truly, whole-heartedly support and encourage a friend or loved one right now? Comment below if you’d like. I’d love to hear your ideas.