The Emotional Toll of Abortions on Fathers - Today Can Be Different

    Carol, a client advocate at The Hope Center, a pro-life pregnancy resource center, glanced up as the door swung open. A nicely dressed man in his early twenties hesitated, then pushed the door open the rest of the way.

    “Welcome to The Hope Center,” she said.

    “My name is Steve,” he said, taking a deep breath but failing to meet her eyes. “I – I.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he said softly, “I … saw a billboard.”

    “I understand, Steve. Welcome. Would you like to talk with one of our male counselors?”

    The kindness in her voice gave him the courage to follow her to a small counseling room. Soon, he was settled into a blue upholstered armchair sharing his story with Ron.

    Bouncing his knee, Steve continued, “Monica and I were talking about getting married and everything.” He rose to his feet and paced from one wall to the next. “Next thing I know, she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant. I said, ‘No problem. We can get married right away.’ I was nervous but not unhappy with the news.”

    Steve reclaimed his seat and continued. “Then Monica said she wanted to have an abortion! She wasn’t ready to settle down and have kids.” His voice broke. “I begged her not to, but the next day, she went through with it.”

    “How long ago was this?” Ron asked.

    “Two years ago, this month. I can’t stop thinking about it, especially when I see young couples with their kids.” Tears streamed down his face. “Is this normal behavior? … Especially for a man?”

    Steve’s story, though fictionalized, reflects real life.

    We often focus on those who have been victims of abortion – innocent babies, of course, and their mothers. But we rarely hear about how this tragedy affects dads. These “forgotten fathers” often bottle up their emotions, including grief, depression, anger and guilt – all of which can escalate to self-destructive behavior if they don’t seek counseling.

    January 19 is National Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. If you are pro-life, please pray for every woman who’s had an abortion and for every “mother with child” who’s considering an abortion. But don’t forget the dads (and grandparents) who have lost a child through abortion. Remember, they’re suffering too.

    Thankfully – and mercifully,

    The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

    As we pray for those affected by abortion, let’s thank God for His unfailing love that transforms pain into hope and offers the chance to start anew.

    If you or someone you know is struggling after an abortion, remember that you’re not alone. Pregnancy Resource Centers provide free, confidential support for men and families, offering compassion, guidance, and a path to healing.

    What about you?

    I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. (Your comment might also benefit others.)

    • How can we pray for you?

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