The Journey of Marriage: From Hard Work to Joy
“You make marriage look easy,” a younger married friend said. I looked behind me to see who she was talking to. “You mean me,” eyebrows high and eyes wide, I questioned. “Yes, you!” I shook my head and said, “I’m sorry, marriage is some of the hardest work I have ever done.”
So many ‘things’ in life that are worthwhile are hard work.
Asked by a child if camping was hard work, I explained she would see animals, stars, and plant life not visible in the city. She would experience the warmth of the campfire and satisfaction of knowing she helped make it. Cooking over that fire and making smores would be reward for her hard work.
For me, hiking to the top of Half-dome or Mt. Whitney, well getting to the top is reward enough, and seeing creation from that perspective is awe-inspiring. But it is a crazy amount of work to get there. There is the prep work to do to for our bodies to be in shape and labor to prepare the food and gear we need for survival.
The only way to the top is one painstaking step at a time. The altitude threatens to make me grumpy. Looking at another mountain to climb threatens to steal my perseverance and joy. But the only way to get to the top and the beauty that awaits is to keep going.
Oh, you must stop and make sure you rest along the way. You have to check the trail maps and make sure you are on the right path. Sometimes you need to take your shoes off and get any little rocks or sand out, lest blisters or bruises emerge. And it is an absolute necessity to stop, appreciate how far you have hiked and the splendor surrounding you.
Marriage is like a long hike. You need to prepare your heart and soul every day for the adventure of a lifetime. There will be mountains to climb, and beautiful moments to behold. There will be valleys so low, you don’t know how you will make it to the next plateau.
I love my husband. He loves me. More importantly, our Heavenly Father loves us and wants to see Himself reflected in our marriage. And friends, we are frail human beings, and that can be hard work. Every day, I recommit myself to being a child of God, made in His image so I can be a better wife. My husband does the same so he can love me the way Christ loves the church.
There may be irritations threatening to damage your relationship that you need to stop and deal with, or they will leave you blistered and bruised and hinder your progress. Communicate gently. Be forgiving.
There may be times when you feel like you are walking a trail that horses have traveled, and you are avoiding the stuff they have left behind. Walk carefully. Be gentle, loving, and respectful.
There are also beautiful mountain top moments in marriage. It is important to stop, appreciate and enjoy those moments.
Marriage, like any worthwhile journey, takes commitment. It takes perseverance. It takes praying for your spouse every single day. It takes walking the path He has laid out for us, one step at a time, and following the map He provides in His Word.
Questions for Reflection:
Words I pray for in marriage are: respect, love, kindness, gentleness, honesty, trust, forgiveness, humility, wisdom, understanding, and protection.
What else might you add to this list?
Do you pray for your spouse every day?
How do you think praying for your spouse can impact your relationship?
For further reading, I recommend Timothy & Kathy Keller’s book “The Meaning of Marriage.”
