The Other Side of Grief
I’ll admit, this has been a hard week for me. I’ve been grieving the loss of Charlie Kirk, who was killed on September tenth in front of his family and young supporters. Videos of him standing up for Biblical principles and sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ flood every news and social media outlet.
My tears have spilled. My sick stomach lingers. My heart hurts.
A husband. A father of two. A young brother in Christ. Gunned down. Gone from this earth. I wonder if you’ve struggled too. I want to give you some hope in the grieving, not just for Charlie, but in life.
Grief is a peculiar thing. I can’t think of many who haven’t experienced grief in some form or another. It’s a natural response to a loss. Grief could be for the loss of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, or the loss of a dream. This week it’s the loss of a young crusader.
Grief is a complex weaving of emotions that accompany the loss of what was or sometimes the emptiness of what wasn’t.
I grieved the loss of our second child. My friend Angela grieved the loss of a thirty-five-year marriage. Gail grieved the loss of her son in the chilling waters of the James River. Tressa grieved the loss of her husband. Grieving is part of the healing process for our losses and the losses of others.
In her classic book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross notes five stages of grief:
- Stage One: Denial and Isolation
- Stage Two: Anger
- Stage Three: Bargaining
- Stage Four: Depression
- Stage Five: Acceptance
But for us who know Jesus Christ, there is a sixth stage:
- Resurrection
Oh, sweet friend, Jesus died on that cross, but then He rose again. He left His grave so that you could leave yours. Your dreams of what you had hoped your story would be may have died on the cross of unmet expectations or unwanted violation, but your dreams can rise again. They may even become someone else’s inspiration to rise from their grave of broken dreams as well.
Each of the women I just named mourned her losses but eventually moved on to write new chapters of her story. After a time, we all stopped lamenting what was not and started looking for the blessing of what is. That doesn’t mean we don’t miss the child or lament the loss, but we didn’t get stuck there.
That doesn’t mean that we don’t hurt any longer, but that the wound no longer controls our decisions or actions. We’ve stopped slapping away God’s hand from the pen and look forward to seeing how He will write the rest of the storyline. Sometimes our healing process includes counselors or therapists, sometimes it includes medication to get us through the worst of it, but it always includes the healing of Jesus Christ and our cooperation with the Holy Spirit to get back up.
Perhaps you need to grieve for losses in your life. Here are a few:
- Loss of innocence
- Loss of a marriage
- Loss of a relationship with a parent mother
- Loss of employment
- Loss of a spouse
- Loss of a child
- Loss of friendship
- Loss of hopes and dreams
The Psalmist wrote, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5 NLT). That doesn’t mean grieving last only one night, but that periods of sorrow are temporary…or at least they could be. God will heal the hurt, dry the tears, mend the broken heart. Joy comes again.
The Bible reminds us, for Christians, we grieve, but not as those without hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Heaven is our ultimate hope.
When tragedy tears our hearts out, when untimely death cracks the foundation of our faith, when violence mars all that is good, we grieve the loss. But we mustn’t allow the story to stop there. I type these words with tears in my eyes because I have lived them. Hear me when I say, it’s going to be okay—you’re going to be okay. God has more to write. Resurrection is on the way.
Back to Charlie for just a moment. He is now in the presence of Jesus. I can’t think of any better place to be.
And what of those left behind? Charlie’s impact is reverberating all around the world. Thousands upon thousands went to church or back to church last Sunday because of Charlie’s legacy. Christians around the world have mourned united. Resurrection power is stirring hearts and souls in unimaginable ways. Be encouraged. God is till on His throne.
Father, grief is hard. Sorrow is heavy. Loss is burdensome. Today, I give you my sadness for the losses in my life. Help me to see how You have blessed me and are blessing me every day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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