The Substance of Life
“For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” (James 4:14) Working in hospice, I meet people at the end of life’s journey. While these moments remain some of the hardest to hold, they also offer the greatest wisdom. For in the waning moments of one’s days, the true substance of life is revealed.
Like a vapor, the fragility of life’s moments reminds us nothing is held forever, inviting us instead to savor even the simplest of delights one more time.
One of the areas of care on which our hospice teams focus is “hopes and wishes”. What last things or one more time experiences do patients desire at end of life?
The answer may surprise you.
While occasional bucket list type of wishes pop up, the majority of requests beg yet another taste of a special meal, a few more moments with loved ones, the delight of another kiss, or the caress of wind on their face, the sound of a beloved song, even the feel of beach sand between their toes.
The substance of life consists not of the grand, but of the simple, earthy delights we hold every single day.
Anne Lamott says it best:
“Life feeds anyone who is open to taste its food, wonder, and glee; its immediacy. We see this toward the end of many people’s lives, when everything in their wasted bodies fights to stay alive, for a few more kisses or bites of ice cream, one more hour with you. Life is still flowing through then: life is them.”
How Do You Hold a Vapor?
Incredibly sobering, the metaphor of life as a vapor instills a certain urgency to life. Yet many times I swallow the lies busyness and procrastination peddle of having time “later” for savoring simple pleasures.
Anyone living their last days or moments will tell you no matter the desire, like a vapor, you simply cannot hold onto life’s wonders one moment longer than God ordains.
I respectfully disagree.
Though we cannot live one second longer than God ordains, we can, however, hold the vapor called life.
How?
By intentionally choosing to capture the wonders of our lives through presence, gratitude and loving well.
Our Moments Are the Substance of Life
The sum total of our lives rests hidden in the moments we live; or more poignantly in how we live them.
Too often the back burner or that ever undefinable “later” house my intentions for capturing the meaningful moments in life.
Yet standing by the bedside of someone courageously living their final moments, I never hear longing for moments to fold laundry, mow the lawn, or vacuum the house.
What I do hear are regrets for time spent on those things in lieu of wonder filled moments with loved ones, too few hugs, or moments spent truly savoring God’s abundant blessings.
In her inimitable thought-provoking way, Mary Oliver invites us to consider the true substance of life in her poem “Summer Day”, ending with these haunting words:
“Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?”
If breath remains in your lungs, you still have the opportunity for redeeming the remaining time of your one wild and precious life.
- Live Present. Determine wherever you are, to be all there. Give the gift of presence to loved ones, neighbors, colleagues, even strangers. Ground yourself in the present through your five senses. Remember while God was with us in the past, and will be with us in the future, we can only encounter Him in this present moment.
- Live Thankful. Find gratitude for what you have, rather than living in discontent with what you lack. Look around at the myriad simple delights God lavishes upon you and pour forth the sacrifice of praise. Even in the hard moments living thankful reminds us of God’s goodness even there.
- Love Well Now. Never defer love. Loving well need not be lavish demonstrations of affection. Simple moments of connection through hugs, smiles, laughter, or presence cost nothing, but provide a priceless gift both to us and others. Say the words now, say them often, before time, tragedy, or disease steal them from you.
The Substance of Life
Perhaps death teaches us more about life than any other experience. For in the exhale of a last breath a tremulous silence echoes the finality of our earthly life.
While those of us who believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior hold the Hope of eternity, which far exceeds the pleasures of this earthly life, the substance of life here and now is not frivolous or meaningless.
To the contrary, God meant for this earthly life to be a taste of what is yet to come.
The true substance of life exists in our ability to encounter and embrace eternity in the intentionality of presence, gratitude, and loving God and others well.
In Loving Memory of my beautiful sister-in-law, Linda, who passed from this life to the next into the arms of her Savior on August 29th ending a courageous three-year battle with aggressive breast cancer.
Though the cancer ravaged her body, it never stole her true beauty or faith. Thank you for loving us all so well, Linda.
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