To The Holy Hypocrites…

I have to confess something:

I’m a hypocrite.

Strangely, bolding the words and speaking them aloud and even staring at them for the past few minutes like I just did gives me a sort of affirmation. Not yes, you are a hypocrite and a big one at that, but yes, you are…but so are the rest of us.

Does it bring you peace knowing you will never be perfect? That even if you were, it wouldn’t change the Lord’s thoughts about you?

In some ways, it helps me strive to be better. In others, it’s a stark reminder that perfection is merely an illusion for this flesh.

So I get frustrated.

And I fall short.

And suddenly I’m gossiping about that girl again, honking at a car in traffic, and sighing at something someone says because I’m offended. Burning words fly off my tongue before I check the emotions that have overrun this self-absorbed spirit.

And in the flames of an argument, in five o’ clock traffic, or glancing at an Instagram post that has made me sick with envy, I am reminded once again of how imperfect I am, but also how uncomfortable I am in this imperfection, and I want to change.

Before ugly thoughts burn the bridge with that friend, let the Lord’s words penetrate the envy in my soul.

Before I speak something that’s going to break my mother’s heart or push my brother away for the last time or cut a stranger to pieces, let my spirit be sensitive to His.

How can we let the words of the Lord and what He has called us to be, become stronger and more powerful than the desires and impulses of this flesh?  

I tell myself:

Wake up at 5:45. Read His words and let them soak into the fiber of your being before tired legs stretch off the side of the bed. Pray for His will over this day, this moment, and every interaction that happens from the moment you leave that comfortable little house to when you sigh with relief that the day at last is over and you can go back to precious sleep. Ask that He would guide each conversation that you spend over lunch or in your office chatting with co-workers or with the families you see every day.

It’s easy to let my flesh call my responses, but it’s difficult to live with those consequences.

The inconveniences and annoying people and set- backs are too intentional to be ignored or griped with.

And God is too present to be pushed into the background while our sorry spirits put prideful hands to chests and proclaim, “Thanks Lord, but I got this.”

And then the cycle continues.

We become frustrated and fall short and wonder why God doesn’t give us what we need to conquer these giants.

How can He help us if we won’t let Him?

God pursues, but He will not force. Because He wants our hearts and our surrender. He wants time with us so He may whisper the gentle secrets that allow one to press on through this life.

Every day, I ask Him to help me. Help me…guide me…show me…

These simple words I repeat each morning and each night, so that the day begins and ends with my pleadings for the Lord to direct each step and turn.

This doesn’t make me perfect. I’m still a hypocrite, because I say all this and I know tomorrow I will struggle still.

But the key to victory doesn’t lie in myself.

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

~1 Corinthians 10:13

Writer of all the things~My goal is to create, share and tell people about the overwhelming, amazing love of Jesus. View all posts by mckennajh