A failing marriage. 

A prodigal child. 

A splitting church. 

A dying spouse. 

In times of suffering and long stretches of waiting, it’s so tempting to wonder, Has God truly been faithful to me? Does He really keep His promises?

We see similar doubts portrayed in the story of Abram and Sarai—the Bible’s walk-by-faith pioneers. In Genesis 12:1–4, God stepped onto the scene and initiated a relationship with them by making a set of astonishing, grandiose promises, saying, “I will, I will, I will . . .” To them, God was a stranger (Josh. 24:2), so it’s interesting to note that the first thing they learn is that God is a God who makes promises.

The promises are amazing, but so is Abram’s faith. In response to promises alone (and no tangible proof), they pack up and leave everything, believing God would make good on His word and bless them, make Abram’s name great, and turn their childless family of two into a great nation (Gen. 12:2). The promise that through them all the families of the world would be blessed (Gen. 12:3) must have seemed outlandish, but also somehow possible. (By the way, if you have been blessed by their descendent Jesus Christ, then you are one of the ways God has kept His promise!) 

Ten years later, however, we find Abram and Sarai still living as strangers in a land not their own (Gen. 16:3). And Sarai remains devastatingly childless. Oh, the doubts that must have echoed in their hearts, like growing crescendos, as they pondered this God they were still getting to know. How they must have wondered, Can God keep His promises? Will He? Perhaps you’re asking these same questions as you wait on the Lord. 

Drawing from Sarah’s story, here are three lies to root out when it feels like God hasn’t been faithful.

Lie #1: “It’s up to me.” 

Sarah is first introduced in her family’s genealogy as the brittle branch on the family tree (Gen. 11:30). For months, and then years, when Abraham must have asked, “So . . . any news?” her answer had been no. No news. No baby. Only a flat belly and a promise. 

Back in Genesis 12, God’s first words to them were, “I will . . . , I will . . . , I will . . .” But Sarai’s first words, ten years later, are recorded as, “Perhaps . . . I can build a family,” (Gen. 16:2, emphasis added). Instead of waiting for God, Sarah decided to staple her own fruit to the family tree by employing the help of Hagar. Step back and consider the implications. 

God had not just promised a baby to a couple; He had promised a Savior to the world. Of course, they didn’t understand the magnitude of God’s promises for their family tree the way we do. Look at Sarah’s hand as she reaches for her stapler, saying, “Perhaps I can . . .” When the plan works and Hagar’s son is born, they assume he’s the child of promise. But the New Testament makes it clear: Hagar’s son was the product of self-reliance, not the result of God keeping His promises (Gal. 4:28–29).

As a self-proclaimed “Control Girl,” I can attest to how convincing the lie of self-reliance is. It feels like I can produce fruit on the brittle branches, both in my own life and the lives of those I love. For years I saw it as my responsibility and diligently stapled up fruit—frantically training my kids and teaching them Bible verses, or attempting to serve as my husband’s own “personal Holy Spirit.” But the futility of my efforts eventually became apparent. Not only could I not produce true and lasting fruit in others, I turned into an angry, fretting, white-knuckled Control Girl myself when I tried. 

You see, faith ends where self-reliance begins. And self-reliance ends where faith begins. Controlling, self-reliant Christian women who think, “It’s all up to me,” produce some of the godliest looking families. But only God is able to make fruit grow on brittle branches. 

Sister, is there a brittle branch in your life that is causing you great vexation or devastation? Perhaps your son is questioning his gender, your sister is divorcing her husband, or your husband has unbridled anger. Just as Sarah, you might assume that you can produce the fruit you long for, but this is a lie. Like the pattern we see with Abraham and Sarah, our faith must be built upon God making and keeping His promises to us, not the other way around. 

Lie #2: “But I did it all right!” 

When we turn to self-reliance, there’s often a formula in the back of our minds. We’re convinced that if we do it all right, God will do His part and bless us. And when He doesn’t, we get mad and say, “But, I don’t understand. I did it all right!” 

God never said to Abraham and Sarah, “If you do it all right, I’ll bless you.” He simply said, “I’ll bless you.” Abram and Sarai left everything and moved to the promised land—not because they were attempting to gain God’s blessing, but because they had His promise of blessing. And while God was very pleased with their obedience (Rom. 4:3), He wasn’t interested in a transactional relationship. This is true for you too. 

Sister, if you’re disappointed and mad at God, insisting that you did it all right, could it be that you’re working off the wrong assumption (or lie) that God promises blessing in exchange for obedience? He doesn’t. He just blesses us. If you belong to the Lord, you will be blessed beyond measure by Him. And you already have been! But God doesn’t answer to you on how those blessings play out.

Lie #3: “It’s hopeless.” 

In Genesis 18, it’s been twenty-four years since God first promised to turn Abraham and Sarah’s childless family into a nation. As a dinner guest at Abram’s table, God drops the bombshell and says, “A year from now, Sarah will have a son,” (Gen. 18:10). This is where I expect Sarah to come running from the tent, saying, “Let’s have a gender reveal party! Let’s paint the nursery!” Instead, upon receiving her due date at long last, she laughs. 

Her self-talk from behind the tent flap is revealing, as she says, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I have delight?” (Gen. 18:12). Not only has Sarah’s hope of motherhood completely expired, her hope of everything is tattered. Her word for “worn out” is that of an old cloth—too worn to even keep as a cleaning rag. Sarah sees herself as an old, useless woman on the outside looking in on Abraham and Hagar’s blessing of a son.

So here’s the moment we get to see how God responds when people of faith have no faith. What does God do when the recipient of the promises acts like there are no promises? Well, He is not okay with it! Firmly but gently, God confronts Sarah’s despondence, saying, “Is anything impossible for the LORD?” (Gen. 18:14).

If you’re feeling hopeless about your future, your relationships, your church, or your life, behind this hopelessness are two lies: First, that you have somehow been shut out from God’s promises and second, that God is not able. Neither could be further from the truth! If you doubt this, turn to Genesis 21 and read the story of a giggling ninety-year-old woman who—after a lifetime of infertility—gave birth to a son she named “Laughter.”

One day, dear sister, when your faith becomes sight, you’ll know just how faithful God has been to keep His promises to you. For now, He invites you to walk by faith—which begins where self-reliance ends.

Revive Our Hearts is filled with gratitude for all that God has done in and through your giving this year. Now, He has placed a bold vision before us: to reach even more women with His life-changing truth. Would you prayerfully join us in this work? 

We’d love to send you the 50 Promises to Live By Card Set this month as our thanks for your donation of any amount to help women thrive in Christ. May it serve as a constant reminder of God’s unchanging care for you.