What I Need in the Moment of Rejection — Ami Loper

Yet again words had found their mark. Yet again a friend had said exactly the thing that had the power to reach into my world and shake me. Yet again I felt like the 8th grader no one wanted on their kickball team. Yet again I knew I would be wrestling with those words for days, soul-searching and blaming myself, arguing in my head until I found just the right (albeit too late) retort and the perfect way to say it.

I’ve dealt with a lot of rejection from a young age. It’s been the thing I dread, the takeaway to many social gatherings, the nemesis of my peace.

And it’s not as if I haven’t worked on this! I’ve read most Christian books on the subject; I’ve prayed and pleaded for healing. But healing feels illusive in the face of hot-off-the-presses rejection and I often end up in the same dead-end cul-de-sac of round and round thinking and vacillation between right confessions and old thought patterns.

I had studied and learned, but my reaction to a fresh rejection proved that I had only acquired knowledge, not the strength that comes through applying that knowledge. I knew there were right confessions I was supposed to make at a time like this, verses I had previously thought would help at these times. Now I couldn’t recall a single one as the pain screamed louder than my good intentions.

I sat before the Lord and pondered how to break this cycle. How do I go from knowing the truth beforehand, to actually being able to tap into those truths in the moment of rejection when my emotions cloud over the truth?

I need to have my sword, my Scriptural arsenal, ready before the fight comes. It’s no use trying to scramble around to find the Sword of the Spirit in the middle of the mess the enemy of my soul has just spewed all over me.

Think of your mind as a massively intricate freeway system. When faced with a familiar situation, such as rejection, you tend to automatically drive along the section of freeway that you’ve always driven at times of rejection. That freeway section always leads you to the destination to which you’ve always gone. Over and over again you go there and each time you reinforce that destination as the reaction to rejection, you deepen your wheel ruts in that freeway, making it harder and harder to get out of that particular dead-end freeway.

What if you could change your automated reaction? What if you could re-route your brain so that it sent you to a new destination whenever you are faced with rejection? Can you communicate to the GPS system of your mind that whenever rejection happens you want to go on another freeway section, one with a new destination?

Yes, you can! It will take practice – trying and failing and trying and somewhat succeeding and trying again – before you will experience true change. Afterall, those ruts may be pretty deep. But let me tell you, the best tool for redesigning the freeway system of your mind is going to be using Scripture. Why? Because we can stand firm on Scripture. We know it is the ultimate Truth that trumps everything, even facts.

Need a new freeway in your mind? Start building one! Build it out of material that can withstand the earthquake of rejection! Build it with Scripture.

This is what I did, and it has changed where my mind goes when I start to feel those old reactions threatening. I’ve compiled 37 Scriptures into three confessions to help break the power of rejection whether it has just happened or if my mind has dredged up something old and ugly from long ago! And although it is probably most effective to formulate your own confessions, I want you to have access to mine to build upon or to get you started. I’ve made mine a printable that can be printed on cardstock, cut into the three segments to have on hand, in a planner, on a mirror or in a prayer journal – wherever you are most likely to need them.

Having these Scriptural confessions printed and in a place we see regularly and can quickly and easily get our hands on, keeps us from getting trampled in those moments when rejection has sucked the air out of us and we are unable to remember on our own what God says.

Remember, “the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). God’s Word is your most powerful weapon. Use it!

“…take … the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God…” Ephesians 6:17

For the FREE PRINTABLE of Scriptural Confessions, Click Here!

And to read last week’s blog, “4 Things You Need to Know About Rejection,” click Here!