What is a Christian Marriage - Part 2

First,
I would like to say that this post probably sounds a bit like last week’s post.  But I assure you it does move us forward.  There is so much information in a topic like
this that pastors can’t normally cover in a sermon, and I want to give you as
clear a picture of the scriptural foundations as possible.  

A
Christian marriage is more than just the union of two Christians of the
opposite sex. A Christian marriage is characterized and governed by Christian
principles that are taught in the Bible. Please note that a Christian marriage
is not defined by the teachings of a church. A Christian marriage adheres to
the standards of marriage revealed in the Holy Bible regardless of a church’s
teachings and practices.   

Incredible
as it may seem, we can no longer assume that people in our culture understand
what the proper definition is of “marriage.”  Not only is this a sad
commentary on the impact of same-sex marriage activists on our society, it also
shows how the culture’s memory of the biblical tradition on which it is principally
based is fading fast.

In
last week’s post, we saw how sin entered into the world and the lives of man
and woman; how it damaged the relationship between humans and God, and its
negative consequences on the marriage relationship.  Despite the compromise of God’s original
design for marriage and the family, the Old Testament continues to commend the
virtues of marriage, and even speaks of the value of a wife of noble character.
(Proverbs 31:10-31)  

And
now we move on to the New Testament.  Here, we find the instructions God has
given His church, that we might live holy and Christ-like lives.  And here, is where we see the standard for
our relationships between believers, between us and God, and between husbands
and wives.  There are several scriptures
relating to marriage in the Bible, yet the ideal of how it should work is all
rolled up in Ephesians 5:21-33:

“Submit
to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as
to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of
the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to
make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to
present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any
other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love
their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After
all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as
Christ does the church–for we are members of his body. For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will
become one flesh. This is a profound mystery– but I am talking about Christ
and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves
himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”   

Ephesians 5 is the classic text on
marriage.  It is the longest, most popular, and most debated passage on marriage
found in Scripture.  As we examine this passage, I hope that no matter what
reaction you have had, you will be challenged to rethink your perceptions.  But
in order to challenge, we need to get at the foundation of this passage.

The most basic issue is not how to
define “submit” in verse 22, or “love” in verse 25.  These
are the applications which Paul is drawing out from the definition of marriage.
Therefore, it is important we look at the foundation before we get to the
application.  When we do that, I think some of the confusion over this passage
will dissipate.

When it comes to marriage,
expectations, dreams and desires vary with each couple. Everyone has the
perfect picture etched into his or her mind of the perfect spouse, but we all
marry imperfect people.  As we spend some
time on this issue, some may decide that this does not apply to them.  But, whether
you are married or not, the nature of marriage affects each and every one of
us.  For some, the issue of marriage is painful, either due to the festering
wounds of our parent’s marriage, or the open sores of our own. Sociologists
contine to debate the health of the institution of marriage in America, and the need for stability in relationships will always remain.

Notice
when Paul seeks to ground our understanding of marriage, he goes back to the creation
story in Genesis 2:24 for the definition, “a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife…” (Ephesians 5:31)  Paul
directs us to what God intended prior to the Fall, before sin warped what was
created as good.  In order to understand all that is said here about marriage, we
must first see that marriage is rooted in creation, that marriage reflects the
covenant, and that those who are married are complementary to one another.

Even before Eve was created out of
Adam, we read an unusual phrase in Gen 2:18.
Remember, prior to Adam and Eve’s disobedience in eating of the
forbidden fruit, God proclaimed that all He had created was “good.”  And then, God
pronounces that there is something “not good” in paradise.  God said, “It is not
good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.”
There was imperfection in paradise.  As Adam was created in the image of God,
there was an inherent need for community.  The Triune God possessed this for all
eternity as the oneness of God is understood only in the community of the three
persons of the Godhead.

The same was true for Adam, too.  In the process of naming all the animals there
was not one of God’s creation that could fill the void.  So
God takes from Adam to create that which is most suited to Adam.  While animals
are described as being created immediately, when it comes to humanity the
origin is distinctively different.  Adam, created from the dust of the ground is
given life by the breath of God, and Eve is created from Adam. 

It is there that Moses gives us the
clearest definition of marriage in the Bible.  It is interesting that it is
applied here to the creation of Adam and Eve, for they had no father and
mother.  But what took place in the garden, outside of the sin, in the
perfection of creation, is the defining moment for marriage.

Marriage is still rooted in
creation.  Men, you and I did not come from the dust of the ground, even if our
families were dirt poor growing up.  Ladies, not one of you were formed from a
rib. Each and every one of us, though, were created by God through very human
means of parents. This is true of each person, throughout the world, in all
times.  Marriage flows from creation. 

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