There are many important reasons to discuss this topic from a biblical perspective. We live in a hypersexual society. But what is the best kind of sex? Well, morally, the best sex is sex between a husband and his wife as God intended. How do I know this? Because God’s ways are always best.
Not to mention the heartbreak and STDs, as well as many other issues that arise because many people are not married nor monogamous while having sex. Safe sex is sex between a man and woman who are married and are monogamous.
Christian couples have the word of God as a guide to follow. However, personal sexual preferences and expectations will still need to be discussed before marriage and worked out in a selfless, safe manner after marriage.
This is important to remember in a day and age where people live as if it is a free for all, doing whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want sexually and otherwise. Selfishness and defiance against God is rampant.
There are people who do whatever they please, at the expense of others. Also, plenty Christians have premarital sex while professing Christianity. I’m not condemning people. To encourage what is right in the sight of God, I’m pointing out that God’s design is still sex between a man and woman after marriage.
Christians are required to obey God’s commands. Unmarried Christians who slip up and have sex before marriage should confess their faults to God and repent. Thankfully, God is loving, merciful and forgiving.
What about “sexual compatibility?”
I believe many people complicate this. If you are a man and a woman in love and you get married, you are compatible. Everything else should be able to be figured out as well as worked out.
Especially, when Christ is the center of the marriage and spouses love each other selflessly. Pornography addiction is a huge problem for many men and plenty women also.
Pornography addiction and other destructive issues that significantly affect marriages in a negative way should be dealt with properly before marriage as much as possible. Transparency is necessary.
Honest communication is necessary. Submitting to God and doing the work to get deliverance from bondage is needed.
Pornography is devastating to relationships, marriages and reportedly can influence or change sexual orientation. Pornography brings shame and destroys marriages and relationships [1].
I have spoken with women who became porn widows in their marriages. Too many marriages are ripped apart by pornography addiction and other sins that the world tries to normalize. Both men and women can suffer from pornography addiction.
Sometimes, people’s brains have been programmed by pornography and they will have sexual desires that are unhealthy and very perverted. Who wants to blindly enter a marriage where this is an issue? I speak on these topics because there’s still too much silence on them even among many Christians.
How many preachers do we hear preaching against pornography? Not many, in my experiences. I wonder how many Christians are warning and informing especially younger, inexperienced Christians about these things.
This is something important to keep in mind. These issues are not something that is often discussed in churches. It is important for Christians to to work on self-improvement and healing prior to marriage. It’s also very important to pray for direction and wisdom when choosing a spouse.
Friends, these are important reminders in a society that gives dangerous advice that says, “Do whatever you want, do whatever feels good to you.“
This is a reminder to Christians not to conform to the wickedness of the world around us, but to be godly light and seek to glorify God in all that we do. This will bring us success in our relationships and lives in general.
Bible References:
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7: 1-2 NKJV
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5: 16.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12: 2 NKJV.
Tim Shimer has a well-written article on FreedomFight.org on the destructive effects of pornography as well as some solutions.
[1] https://thefreedomfight.org/health/pornography-effects-on-marriage/
