When It Hurts to be a Mum
Yesterday Lydia had an appointment with her pediatrician followed by a blood test. She doesn't have blood tests very often anymore, thankfully, and I couldn't remember how we did it last time–in her arm or in her finger. So since her hands were not very warm, the lady suggested trying her arm. But as soon as she put the needle in, Lydia yanked her arm away. So we decided to wait till the other blood test lady was free so she could help hold Lydia still, as she is very strong! But Lydia had felt the prick the first time and was not cooperative. When the needle went in, the blood would not come out, so we had to try the next arm which also didn't work. Poor Lydia was not happy. After giving her some crackers to distract her, we finally got enough blood from her finger.
It's not a nice experience, as a mum, forcing your child to sit still while you let someone prick her with a big needle. It feels cruel and wrong, especially since Lydia doesn't understand the reason why. Shouldn't my arms be a safe place? It hurts to hurt your children or allow them to be hurt. But Lydia needed the blood test. She needs another procedure for her heart at some point, and this blood test will show whether she needs it within the next six months or whether it can wait till next year.
Sitting on the big blue chair, holding Lydia in my arms while trying to hold her still, I thought how Jesus must have felt when he got the message from Mary and Martha about Lazarus and purposely delayed. When he did come and he saw them weeping, he wept along with them. When he tried to explain to Martha what He was doing, she didn't understand.
Sometimes being in the perfect will of God–safe in His arms–means pain. Like Lydia we try to wriggle and escape the cause of our pain not understanding the reason why. We may question God's kindness, wisdom and His love for us. Why does He allow or cause such pain if He loves us? How could it be in His will for us?
But we can trust God. It's better to suffer pain in God's arms, than to have an easy life without Him. There is a good reason for every hurt and He is always there to comfort us.
I know, O LORD, that thy judgements are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me.
Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant.
Psalm 119:75-76
