When The Ego Is Bigger Than The Heart - Impacting Righteously

Sadly, past and present trauma can lead to insecurity, personality changes, personality disorders, and distorted realities for some people. Everyone will go through something unpleasant. Plenty people have already been through many things. While this is a tragedy, there are people who forgive, seek help, and get the healing they need. This could be a long process, but healing takes place. Some other people avoid getting the real help they need. They live life operating from their pain, and hurting other people.

In particular, some boys are conditioned to not express their emotions, feelings, and needs in a healthy way for resolution. The poor guy in this case copes the best way he knows how. Many have suffered various types of trauma, but do not have healthy expression, healthy release of negative emotions, and real healing. This can lead to them resorting to various kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms throughout their life. Sometimes, the unhealed person becomes callous, self-centered, and ego-driven in their pursuits.

This egotistical person is a selfish and insecure person. Only God can judge the heart, but we can observe and rightfully judge actions.

What seems to matter most to the insecure man with an over-inflated ego is stroking his ego. His ego is enormous and incredibly fragile. He must at all times protect it and keep it over-inflated. The over-inflated ego is much more fragile than the average ego. Like a balloon with too much air in it, it takes very little pressure for it to shatter. Some women can also be snobs with big egos!

However, in this post, I have some warnings for the ladies who deal with these types of men. There are dangers when becoming involved with this kind of man. Some young girls and ladies don’t know what they are getting into when becoming involved with this kind of man.

They are commonly captivated with the charm, smooth words, achievements, and sometimes good looks of such individuals. May I state the obvious? I am not describing all men or all people. I am talking about specific men who should be identified and avoided by women who desire a God-glorifying relationship and marriage.

Characteristics of a man who is driven by ego, instead of operating out of love:

• Authenticity is likely a foreign concept to him. What he does, says, and thinks is often fueled by ego.

• He may have a God complex. This complex is often found in religious men, but also can be found in non-religious, narcissistic men and women.

• Often, he has something to prove in order to keep up praise-worthy appearances before others.

• He behaves as if he cares more about his ego strokes than just about anyone or anything else.

• Typically, he will cheat on his wife or lady, but may claim to love her. Sex, especially with a variety of women strokes his ego.

• His lust and ego are bigger than his “love” for his wife or lady.

• If his woman breaks up with him for anything, he may beg to have her back, and then get back with her, only so he can break up with her, or do other malicious things to her to regain control.

• As an egomaniac, one of the main ways he gets his accolades is through taking women to bed. He likely will never be satisfied being loyal to his wife or partner.

• He is an insecure, hurt, broken, and lost person who has not received healing.

• He uses his lady (or ladies) to self-medicate. Women are one of the main targets for his pain.

• He is touchy and feels disrespected and offended for little or no reason.

• Typically, he will not pursue real healing. Instead, he distracts himself from his problems.

• He tends to keep himself distracted from his pain through various accomplishments, materialism, womanizing, and other addictions.

• He is usually cocky and a bragger, so he may fool some into believing that he is very confident. Many women love confidence in a man, but some cannot tell the difference between confidence and cocky insecurity.

• Depending on how much his ego has been bruised or how insecure and disrespected he feels, he could become dangerous.

Pray for him? Good idea. However, stay away from the egotistical bad boy, if you desire a healthy relationship. The humble, faithful gentleman is a better, wiser, much safer, and more enjoyable option.

“Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.

 Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee.

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her.

She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee.

Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many.”

Proverbs 4: 5-10.