Women Are the Prize & Men Are the Heroes

Women Are the Prize & Men Are the Heroes

Let’s settle this question about who is the prize. First, what is a prize? Oxford Languages & Google says a prize is a thing given as a reward to the winner of a competition or in recognition of an outstanding achievement. Many more online dictionaries share similar definitions.

This has often been the case in men’s pursuit of women. Women have been seen as the prize. Men have exerted the breadth of their care and strength in capturing the heart of a young woman. Even in the Bible—there are numerous examples of men being rewarded women as wives for their bravery.

King David was rewarded his first wife Michal as part of the reward for killing Goliath:

Now the Israelites had been saying, “Do you see how this man keeps coming out? He comes out to defy Israel. The king will give great wealth to the man who kills him. He will also give him his daughter in marriage and will exempt his family from taxes in Israel.” – 1 Samuel 17:25

Initially, David was to receive the eldest daughter, Merab. David humbly refused and she was given to another man. But Michal had fallen in love with David. Saul offered her. David thought to refuse again stating unworthiness. However, King Saul gave David an additional assignment to feel as though he’d earned the right to become his son-in-law:

“They repeated these words to David. But David said, “Do you think it is a small matter to become the king’s son-in-law? I’m only a poor man and little known.” When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines. When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So, before the allotted time elapsed, David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.” – 1 Samuel 18:23-27

King David as a Hero

We see David getting two chances at becoming the son-in-law of the king here. I don’t think David initially processed the fact that killing Goliath would make him son-in-law to the king. I think he was just zealous for the Lord and wanted to see Goliath humbled after defying the Lord. It did not set in about him taking on a wife until later. This is why I believe he initially refused, but when he was given a task that he felt he could do—it boosted his confidence to believe he deserved a wife. She would be his prize that he earned.

David was a bad dude to kill 100 Philistines. Remember the Bible says Saul’s intent was to get David killed when he sent him to get those 100 foreskins of the Philistines. This means the feat before David was not an easy one. Just like men doing what’s necessary to gain a wife nowadays isn’t an easy one. It takes the power of God to be disciplined, stable, and secure enough to take on the responsibility of a wife. However, David was able to complete the task unscathed with the help of the Lord.

We have to encourage our men to know they can be the heroes within our communities that God designed them to be with God’s help.

David isn’t the only Biblical representative who received a wife due to his willingness to meet a particular required effort. Of course, there is Jacob who worked 14 years for Rachel and he was rewarded. In some ancient cultures, either the man would go negotiate a contract for a wife or the man’s parents along with the daughter’s parents. This is seen in Judges when Samson’s parents refused to put together a marriage contract for a Philistine girl. Instead, Samson does what’s necessary himself to gain the girl as a wife.

Therefore, a woman being called the prize doesn’t diminish the value of a man but gains him the respect he so desires. This is seen as a man being rewarded a wife—shows the man was willing to do what was necessary to acquire and maintain her as his wife.

What are the requirements a man must meet? Glad, you asked. It’s ironic the similarities seen in King David’s story of acquiring his first wife and that of Adam in the Garden of Eden with God.

Adam was in a garden with God. David was in a field with God

Each man was in his respective intimate space with the Lord. This is a safe place to be, grow, learn, fellowship with God, and simply worship. David was a worshipper. Worshipping the Lord gives us a head start in life. In that intimate space, we hear from God, learn to follow his direction, and become confident. It was in dwelling in this place—David knew that he should not fear Goliath because God was with him. The confidence that came from David’s secret place with the Lord led to honor.

Likewise, Adam walked with God in the garden. He learned to cultivate a healthy environment. So, did David, who cultivated a healthy environment for his sheep. You never know what God could be preparing you for just by doing the simple things.

Adam was given tasks to build his confidence and so was David

Adam had to name the animals and cultivate the garden. David had to follow the order of the king regarding the 100 foreskins of the Philistines. David had been prepared to defend his sheep and defend God’s name against Goliath. How much more were 100 regular Philistine men?

The point is—the men who were ready to take on their wives were men who were willing to do what was required. It looked different for each man as each man’s assignment and purpose will be different. In all situations—the woman was the prize. That never changed. Only recently due to gender role confusion and the free sex/sexual revolution culture have women not been seen as the prize.

Men are no longer being required to attain a particular standard. The easiness for many men to acquire a woman has messed it up for the chaste women. Therefore, overall, it’s difficult for some to see women as the prize. Yet, women are the prize still. It is hard, but it isn’t impossible to recover from. Diligent men and women of integrity just need to continue to hold God’s commands in place while patiently seeking out those who will be willing to realign things the way they should be.

When women maintain hope and healthy confidence in being the prize—we do not settle for less than integral and God-fearing men. When men are willing to do what is necessary in the secret place with God—it results in wisdom and favor for every area of their lives. This allows them to be the heroes qualified to attain—the woman as his prize.