Yielding Over Performance — Broken & Hopeful
C.S. Lewis said that Christians are the best and worst examples of Christianity, and I find that to be true so often in the way we portray God. On one hand, we claim that He died for us because of our inability to save ourselves. On the other hand, we claim that we are to do more in order to please Him because then we might deserve His love. This leads to disillusionment and discouragement, as we try to do something that we’ve never been able to do. It is a case of getting the order wrong, as living the Christian life is only possible when empowered by Jesus within us. When we put behavior before relationship and heart, we move into an impossible place that is driven by religion and trying to please God without any power.
On a recent talk, Brian Simmons said that the Christian life has never started with doing, but rather with yielding. Think about the terminology—abide, be still, rest, surrender, come to Me. Nothing in the Christian life begins with effort, but rather a stopping of effort and recognizing Jesus as the One who lives in us. Commands become promises as we realize they are only possible by His Life living through us. Good works are a result of living on the Vine, and allowing the source of Christ’s Life to produce them through you.
I think so often in my life I have felt that if I could just do enough, or do it “right” then God would love me and I’d have worth and meaning. The problem is that He’s always loved me and I’ve always had worth and meaning. God initiates relationship with me, maintains it and completes it. My part in relationship has always been yielding and accepting.
So, practically, this looks like recognizing I’m getting overwhelmed because I’m afraid I won’t be able to get everything done on my list, which boils down to feeling like I’m a failure. When I become aware of my overwhelm, I ask why, and realize the focus of my life has become performance again. I have learned to stop right there in my tracks, take a deep breath and thank God that He already loves me, that He is enough for whatever is ahead, and to ask Him what He wants to do rather than obsessing on my list. There is instant peace, and a freedom to soak in His love the whole way through rather than hoping I can earn it.
Living as one who is loved already is a far cry from living trying to earn love. Jesus says I already have worth—He has bestowed worth on me. He says I am already loved, and not just when I get it “right” or don’t mess up at all. He says He doesn’t see sin when He looks at me, even if I’ve messed up a lot. All of that sin was dealt with on the cross, and He only sees me as a new creation, redeemed and covered in His love. He says that my meaning isn’t in performance or looking like a super-Christian, but rather my meaning is in relationship with Him as performance and image has never yet determined who a person really is. Only He can tell me who I am, and He does, over and over again all day.
Each moment I stop and refocus on Him being right there with me, holding my hand and wanting relationship more than performance or doing, I feel relief like a huge breath of air that washes through me and renews my joy. We are always looking to find happiness in externals, when true happiness is always found in Jesus with me. Jesus is called Emmanuel (God with us) for a reason—He has never stopped being that. I have the whole Trinity, Father, Son and Spirit, desiring to have relationship with me. They are already present and willing—I must turn and accept, yielding my control, my performance and my image to receive the sweetness of freedom.
Yielding to me means putting down whatever I am trying to use to create identity for myself, receiving instead what God says to me and about me. He speaks love, freedom, joy, peace, hope, and encouragement. When I realize today is too big for me, for whatever reason, I can invite Him into my mess and He will always come. He will provide for every need, even that of not having enough love for my spouse, not having enough patience for my kids, not having enough hope for my loneliness. He is enough for all of it. Just ask. And keep asking, yielding to His love and His power to accomplish all you need done.
Surrender your anxiety. Be still and realize that I am God. I am God above all the nations, and I am exalted throughout the whole earth. Psalm 46:10
