Finding Your Way Through Life Transition Stages - Melanie Redd

Retirement was the scariest word I knew.

I cried that cloudy Monday morning when I called my staff to an impromptu meeting. I sobbed so hard that I couldn’t get the words out.

They thought someone in my life had died.

But something did: the narrative that kept me bound to my job.  I allowed it to define me, to become the soundtrack to my life.  I enjoyed the status as a university professor and administrator. The other parts of my life were confined to the outer margins.

Yet, I knew it was time for a life transition.

Whatever was beckoning just beneath the surface was finally creeping into my soul, but the scary thing was this: I couldn’t see the way before me. I only saw an undefined person, lost in a cloud of uncertainty.

If I could have peered into the future, I would have seen my life stretching out before me, like this daring October rose, reaching outward and upward, discovering the way.

If I could have peered into the future, I would have seen my life stretching out before me, like this daring October rose, reaching outward and upward, discovering the way. Click To Tweet

Transitions, like change, can feel like a loss.

I am not a stranger to it.

As a budding teen, wondering about her future, I decided to pursue a pathway to college, and become a teacher. I knew full well that meant changes. I lived in a community in which few of my classmates even considered college. And, I took on jeers and uncomplimentary labels.

I felt the loss of friendships. And when I moved out of my parents’ house to teach in a district, 1500 miles away, I experienced another unsettling life transition.

Loss, like autumn, doesn’t arrive in one day. It is a gradual shedding of the known, a lonely drifting away, like October’s falling leaves. It’s no wonder that many approaches this season with dread, observing this change of season as an ending.

Yet in this process, seeds of new life are scattered, landing in unknown places.

Transitions, like change, can feel like a loss. Click To Tweet

Even in the loss, there is renewal, a hidden wholeness.

In defining myself as my job, any new seeds of growth, the parts of me longing to stretch, were left unattended.

It was time to break out from the parenthesis, to listen to my heartbeat, and to find my real self, begging to be set free.

“If only I knew the way. I set before you life or death, blessings or curse. Therefore, choose life.”(Deut 30:19)

Even in the loss, there is renewal, a hidden wholeness. Click To Tweet

Choosing Life Means Finding Your Own Way

Now, almost three years after my retirement, I think more deeply about this verse.

To me, it is not merely a choice between existing and not existing.

I think of the in-betweenness of choosing life: the heartbeat of our lives. In his book, Let Your Life Speak, Parker Palmer asks, “Are we living the one that life wants me to live?”

In one of my roles at the university, I frequently met with budding teacher candidates,
who came to my office in tears.

After much time and money spent on their teacher preparation courses, and now fully emerged in their student teaching experience, a few of them would come to the painful, yet brave recognition that teaching was not for them.

There was a commonality to each heartfelt story.

They tagged on to someone else’s way. Their parents were teachers, or their friends were pursuing teaching.

In every case, I was determined to guide them toward inner empowerment. In a real sense, I was helping them to trust that they will find their way through life transition.

Hmmm. Good advice for me, too.

Eventually, I also went out on faith. Palmer says, “Have faith. The way will open.”

Eventually, I also went out on faith. Click To Tweet

The Way Opened

My story is not meant to be anti-work or anti-profession.

I still do some adjunct teaching at the university. And I love it.

But I traded living in my head, living an ego-driven life for a more centered life.

By shedding my one-dimensional narrative built over decades of time, I rediscovered my spirit, my soul and my heart.

I am now fully present in my family life and especially in the lives of my grandchildren.

The roar of the ego is replaced by the sound of my own heartbeat, inspiring me to reclaim my spirit, to give life to words once suppressed, simple words that spell out the simple truth of me, words that now freely bubble up.

I found grace in the meditative silence, my own prayer space.

Delaying my retirement would have been financially rewarding, but the real blessings
are felt daily. I chose life.

Indeed, I chose my life and the way that I couldn’t see opened.

I chose my life and the way that I couldn’t see opened. Click To Tweet

Author’s note:

As I ended this post, I found this apropos devotional from Melanie Redd in my inbox:

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying… “enlarge my territory,” (1 Chronicles 4:10)

Enlarging one’s territory is another venture into finding your way. And it doesn’t have to be as monumental as a retirement, though.

Even the smallest of movement or transition of thought or action can be transformative.

Consider once again, the October rose, reaching to the heavens.

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:4-6)

Even the smallest of movement or transition of thought or action can be transformative. Click To Tweet

Closing Prayer for life transition:

Father, would you enlarge my territory?

Would you begin to open the doors and use me in a way that You never have before?

Lord, would you give me grace and joy as I find my way through life transitions?

Lord, would you give me grace and joy as I find my way through life transitions? Click To Tweet

So, what about you?

Are you going through a time of transition?

What has helped you to find your way through life transition?

About the Author:

Dr. Gloria J Hill is a life-long seeker who dives into spiritual journeys, using gardens and the nature world as her muse.

Her lyrical writing includes a 360-degree approach to spiritual growth, citing researchers, writers, and scripture.

You can meet her and connect with her on her website. The Nature Whisperer: Inspirational Messages Where Gardens Grow  https://gloriasstories.com/

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Finding Your Way Through Life Transition Stages