3 Questions to Ask Yourself When Moving Forward With Decisions - Grit & Grace
I used to think January was the longest month ever. I mean, remember January? Wasn’t that at least six months long? Now that April is almost through, I’m realizing that this, in fact, is the longest month of the year. Nothing like social distancing/isolation/covid19 quarantine to make 30 days turn into 30 years. I find it challenging to stop lingering in limbo. Sometimes, I’ve got to take a step back and look back before moving forward with decisions.
“It’s important to me to ask and answer questions to help me connect with what’s happening beneath the surface of my everyday life. Why? Because the invisible things will always inform the visible things.”
Emily goes on to share that if we remain unaware of these invisible things, they will rule the day without our permission. Moving forward with decisions becomes impossible. When I read this in her end of January email letter, it really struck a chord with me. And since April has turned out to be a longer month than January ever was, I figured I’d use her questions for reflection to help me move forward in areas I might be overlooking. Asking the right questions sheds light on the invisible.
Granted, there are so many things that are out of my control right now. Things that may prevent me from actually moving forward with decisions in certain areas. But my heart, mind, and soul are still essential. Their health and well-being have not been cancelled. And so reflect we must.
1. What was my best yes in April?
2. What was my best no in April?
3. What’s one thing I won’t bring with me moving into May?
I’m sure there are plenty of questions I could ask myself to help me in moving forward with decisions, but I’m sticking with these three from Emily’s email, only slightly re-worded from how they were originally written. I hope they’ll help get you thinking through your own end of the month reflection too. Here are my answers:
- My best yes in April: Reading! It’s not like I wasn’t reading for pleasure before, but this past month I decided to renew my resolve to read daily. I don’t quite understand how it works, but filling my mind with the words of others for about an hour or so each day leads to more clarity in my thinking. It’s almost as if the mental process of taking in someone else’s words and breaking them down for understanding helps me do it more easily on my own thoughts and ideas. I think that’s why making daily reading a priority has also helped my work as a writer. As Stephen King shared in his book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, “The more you read, the less apt you are to make a fool of yourself with your pen or word processor.”
- My best no in April: No social media before 5pm. I detox from all things social media periodically (you can read more about that here, here, and here), but I’ve been sensing for a bit that it was time to step it up in this area just a bit more. My clarity and ability to get things done has grown. *see number one above. I’m less tempted to putz around on my phone during the day, which I always swear will only be a few minutes, which inevitably turns into being sucked into the social media scrolling vortex of at least half an hour to an hour each time. What I think is just a few minutes here and there throughout the day ends up being more like hours. Hence the lack of focus, and hence why it needed to change. It was time to stop allowing myself to do it during the time when I should have been doing other things. And most days since I started this, I usually don’t even get around to it until after dinner because I’m busy doing the things I need to be doing. Imagine that!
- One thing I won’t bring with me into May: Days filled with little to no margin. This one’s tough, especially for a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser like me. In order to accomplish this, I’ve got to change my default “yes” to a “no”. Instead of filling 100% of my days, I schedule it up to 80% so that I can have margin. Margin to read and write. Margin to move my body mindfully, and send that text to a family member or friend just because. It gives me freedom to try that new recipe or let that conversation linger a bit longer just because. You get the idea. Making room for more margin means more peace and clarity for my heart, soul, and mind, which leads to more peace and clarity I can pour into others. Not every connection, activity, or opportunity to serve is mine to make or do. Leaving less margin behind means more room for the life-giving just becauses of life. “There is no creativity without boundaries.” Lorne Michaels via Emily P. Freeman.
I hope this list was helpful for you! Here’s a podcast episode from Emily that has some more information about the practice of reflection, and how it can help you make better decisions.
I’d love to hear from you. What are some ways you have found that help in moving forward with decisions?
Becky is a Miami native, and has lived here all of her life. Married to her husband for over 20 years, they lead a very active lifestyle along with their three teenagers and Riley, their rescue dog. Becky loves to teach, and has had the awesome privilege of home educating her children for over twelve years. When not teaching academics, Becky loves to equip, encourage, and empower women through the teaching of her group fitness classes. Becky and her husband lead various ministries, and their family loves to serve the community through the countless opportunities provided over the past twenty years+ in their local church. She enjoys filling her "free" time with reading, writing, watching movies, and just spending time with the family. Becky has a passion for living her life with grit and grace, and encouraging others to do the same.
