Seven “Don’ts” for Those Saying “I Do”
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NKJV)
I went to a lovely wedding shower yesterday for a cute couple very much in love. It was delightful to watch the bride smile, so ready for the road ahead with her cherished groom.
Oh, to be young again and have the same energy in tackling marriage!
When next week rolls around, my beloved husband and I will celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary. Whew! Every marriage journey has its rocky moments, but our years together overall have been happy and fulfilling. We’ve enjoyed a very long honeymoon!
If you’re serious about making your relationship peaceful, here are some simple tactics to encourage you and your spouse—a few “don’ts” to help keep newlyweds (and us oldlyweds) out of trouble:
- Don’t dwell on your spouse’s faults. Remember why you married this person, even if it was decades ago. Frequently remind yourself of that person’s virtues.
- Don’t assume you know what your spouse is thinking. Communicate clearly, and pay attention to what your mate says. Repeat conversation points to your mate to make sure you both understand. And don’t ignore texts from your spouse!
- Don’t speak your mind in a rush. Elisabeth Elliot is attributed as saying, “Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.” Listen to the Holy Spirit before you say something prideful or unimportant.
- Don’t criticize your spouse in public. Do the opposite—say something praiseworthy about your mate in front of others. Exercise kindness.
- Don’t go to bed angry. As the apostle Paul told the Ephesians, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27) Do your best to forgive, make amends as needed, and resist holding a grudge. You’ll sleep better.
- Don’t neglect to pray for your spouse. Start your morning or end your evening in prayer together if possible. Pray for your loved one throughout the day.
- Don’t be dull! To keep your marriage from becoming drudgery, offer occasional little surprises to your sweetheart—a bouquet of wildflowers, an ice cream cone, a board game night, a fancy homemade dinner by candlelight, a cheerful text, or taking a drive accompanied by your favorite music—whatever would make your spouse feel special.
As we embrace this season of weddings, remember your own nuptials and how much you were in love during the early days. Make the effort to make your spouse as happy as possible…and you’ll reap the rewards of being happier, too.
(P.S. I bought camping equipment for the new bride and groom. Camping out is a great way to draw closer to your loved one—nothing like the great outdoors, thunderstorms, mosquitos, wild animals, and more to create exciting memories together!)
Jesus, please teach me Your truths about loving my spouse the way You love me. Make me compassionate, wise, thoughtful, and prayerful. Be our faithful Guide, the Cord woven into our rope who holds us together. Let Your Holy Spirit bind us close to Your heart. In Your loving name, Amen.
Nancy C. Williams is a Christian wife/mom with a writing career spanning more than 40 years in business and journalism. Williams is the author of the novel To Love a Falcon and the devotional book A Crocus in the Desert: Devotions, Stories, and Prayers for Women Experiencing Infertility. Her blogs are featured on Crossmap.com and AriseDaily. To follow Nancy’s posts and news, go to her home page at NancyCWilliams.com and subscribe at the bottom.
© Copyright 2025 Nancy C. Williams (text and photography). Unless otherwise noted, Scripture verses are taken from the New King James Version®, Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. #marriage #love #wedding #prayer #support #Jesus #honeymoon #shower #camping
