How to Begin a Meditation Practice That Works - Serenity in Suffering

After sharing with you “Why You Need Meditation” and “Try Meditation For Better Sleep“, Today, I’ll explain how to begin a meditation practice that works. I received several questions about this over the past few weeks. As a result, today I will clarify the best way to get started.

You may wonder why I chose to write the previous two articles on meditation prior to teaching you “how” to meditate. The answer is simple. Unless you grasp the “why” of meditation and a few of the benefits, your interest in learning the “how” would be minimal. While meditation is for everybody, everybody is not for meditation. If you’re like me, you require good information before starting something new. Therefore, I laid the groundwork for understanding meditation and how it can help you. Today, you learn how to begin a meditation practice that works.

Modern Meditation

The meditation technique that I use is adapted from the technique taught by Emily Fletcher at Ziva Meditation. I took a few of her online courses which I highly recommend. They elevated my practice and continue educating me on improving how I practice. The meditation that Emily teaches is for busy people with busy minds, not monks! This form of meditation is simple and designed for integration with your everyday life.

“If we didn’t spend so much time reacting to things, we would spend less time feeling bothered. We would be able to relax in our lives the way our mind relaxes in meditation.” ~Angel Williams

Framework for Beginning Your Practice

As mentioned in previous articles, you practice meditation twice daily for 15 minutes. It’s best to do your first session just after waking in the morning. Plan to get up, get washed, go to the bathroom, take care of pets. Your morning session works best before breakfast, coffee or any “electronic” exposure. Coffee is a stimulant that can counteract the process of meditation “de-exciting” your nervous system. For the same reason, avoid checking news, email or social media feeds.

Plan your second session sometime mid-afternoon or just before the evening meal. Preferably don’t plan your second session right after you eat lunch or dinner. Digestion after eating, interferes with meditation if done immediately following a meal. The goal is to give your brain the recharge it needs for the entire day. Remember not to put off the second session into the evening, as it will hinder your sleep. Just like you wouldn’t take a nap an hour before bedtime, you don’t meditate just before sleep. Meditation increases energy and brain activity.

Scheduling Exceptions

Keep in mind the first thing in the morning session will need adjusting if you are a parent of small children. Your life is not your own at this stage! Adapt the timing as best you can. If your child has a regular sleep routine, set your alarm for a half hour before they will awake. You won’t regret this! Just keep this session as close to the start of your day as possible. This will help you start your day fully rested, and open to creativity and productivity.

The second session remains flexible according to your scheduling needs. If you work this session into your schedule regularly at 3:00 pm, but on a specific day you have another appointment at that time, schedule that session before (optimal) or after. Remember the importance of making the two sessions “non-negotiables” in your day. At the same time, don’t allow that scheduling to create stress!

Meditation Practice Location

Consider where you will practice your daily meditation sessions. Keep in mind this type of meditation is basically “portable”. You can do it anywhere from a comfortable chair in your home, to the front seat of your car or your desk at work. Sitting outside on the grass or a park bench is an option, your surroundings can be noisy or quiet. There’s no need to create a secluded spot with mood lighting and incense. I do recommend for beginners to find as quiet a place as you can.

The only thing required is that you sit with your back supported and your head free. You can sit in a chair, or on the floor or ground against a wall or tree. Your legs can be crossed, stretched out or pulled up to your chest. The only position not “allowed” is lying down; this is not about going to sleep. Ensure that you will not be interrupted for 15 minutes.

beginning a meditation practice that works

How to begin a meditation practice that works involves three parts. The first part involves mindfulness, the second is the actual meditation, and the third is gratitude. I’ll discuss each part briefly below and then clarify in more detail how they all work together.

Mindfulness First

It’s important to remember you must set the stage for your meditation. You don’t just suddenly decide it’s time to meditate & sit down reciting a mantra. The best way to do this is to sit down, close your eyes with the mental “intention” of meditating. Then do a one minute mindfulness exercise to transition from activity to meditation. I like to bring my attention to my breath first, then any sounds I hear in the room or outside. Gently focusing on these things brings you into the present moment.

You can also do a “five senses” exercise where you focus on something related to each sense. Keep your breathing easy and natural, remain “open” to noises rather than negatively viewing them as interruptions. The importance here is to be present, here and now.

Meditation Second

Eventually, the mindfulness portion of the meditation will only take one minute. In the beginning you may find it takes longer to make this transition. That’s normal and expected, so relax. Once you complete your mindfulness exercise, continue to focus on your breath and begin to recite your mantra. Don’t “force” this, allow it to start naturally. In the beginning you will be more intentional, but eventually it just comes to you. You don’t say this out loud, you just think the word. As you continue to breathe slowly and naturally you repeat the mantra in your mind. When thoughts come up, you acknowledge them, but return to the mantra.

Gratitude Third

cup of coffee, macarons, green leaves

The meditation portion is closed by spending roughly two minutes in gratitude. Ask yourself the question, “What am I grateful for right now?” This simple practice changes your brain chemistry and trains you to see all of the things that are going right in your life. Over time this literally rewires your brain to see the blessings in your life rather than always seeing the problems. We can practice gratitude anytime, but this gives you the opportunity twice daily to make it a habit.

Please do not be tempted to skip this part of the practice. Not only does it offer the benefits I just mentioned, but it acts as a “safety stop” in the meditation practice. Meditation takes your mind into a deep state of rest. If this state is disrupted suddenly it can cause headaches and irritability. Your body and brain need time to transition from a resting state to a waking state.

Specifics on the Meditation section

As I mentioned above, the meditation practice involves three parts. The first part, mindfulness is your “runway” into actual meditation. While the third part, gratitude brings you out of the actual meditation. Specifically you spend about one minute in mindfulness, fourteen minutes in meditation and two minutes in gratitude. Using this complete process will allow you to experience the benefits described in the previous two articles I mentioned in the introduction. Short cutting the process will not result in the same benefits.

Allow me to spend some time clarifying a few things about the meditation portion of the complete technique. Let’s get a better understanding about the mantra, timing and what to do about thoughts.

The Mantra,

The mantra trips up most people. I discussed in detail what exactly a mantra is and its purpose in this article. If you have not read that article, please do so before following the instructions to begin a meditation practice. A mantra is simply a “mind vehicle” to de-excite your nervous system allowing your mind to rest. When you take a formalized “in person” class on meditation, your instructor will give you a personalized word (mantra) to use. For the purpose of this generalized method of meditation we will use a simple word. In the book, “Stress Less, Accomplish More”, Emily Fletcher uses the word “one”.

The word is not important. You do not spend time thinking about the word or its meaning. Its purpose is an anchor for your mind and a place of focus. Simply repeating the word softly in your mind allows your mind to release stress and racing thoughts. A common and well known mantra is the Sanskrit word “sohum”. You can use that word if you prefer. Any word becomes more of a “sound” in your mind than a word to be understood.

How Do I Keep Track of the Time?

Many people who practice mindfulness confuse it with meditation and use one of many “mindfulness/meditation” timers. Please do not do this. Timers are harsh, no matter how subtle they seem, they still jolt you into awareness. Train your internal timer by starting your practice looking at your preferred time piece and noting the time. Make a mental note of what time it will be after 17 minutes. I’ll admit I was skeptical in the beginning, but I have never gone over my time in 3 years of practice.

In the beginning you can keep your time piece nearby & glance at it, but don’t rely on that or make it a habit. When you sit down to practice you are intentionally telling your internal timer to make a note of the time. You can initially set a timer for one minute past when your practice would be complete, as a safety net. But I promise you, eventually you will not need it. Trust the process.

How Do I Stop My Thoughts?

The simple answer is, you don’t. The mind thinks like the heart beats; it’s what they do. You can’t make the mind stop thinking, just like you can’t stop your heart from beating. Thoughts will pop up in your mind while you are meditating. When they do, simply acknowledge them without latching onto them and return to the mantra.

The best example I can think of for this, is when you are watching a movie that totally engrosses your attention. Someone comes in, you barely acknowledge them, and return to the movie. No matter what, you are not drawn away from what you are watching. It’s the same with thoughts that arise during meditation. You see them there, but turn back to the mantra and continue meditating. If you do engage with a thought, the moment you realize it, gently return to the mantra.

“The more regularly and the more deeply you meditate, the sooner you will find yourself acting from a place of Inner Peace.” ~J. Donald Walters

To succeed with meditation you have to start!

You may still have questions about how all this works. As a result, you may think it best not to start a meditation practice until you figure everything out. The best advice I can give you is, just do it. It’s a process, in the beginning it feels awkward and you wonder if you’re doing it ‘right”. Honestly, meditation is no different than any other skill you learn. You don’t have it all down perfect the first time you do it, you get better the more you “practice”.

I promise if you stick to your twice daily meditations, in a short time it will feel natural. The benefits will amaze you and meditation will become a valued part of your life in every season. I want you to succeed with a meditation practice, so please feel free to ask questions in the comments below. Remember, the best way to learn how to begin a meditation practice that works, is to simply start!

Feature Image Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash


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