How To Deal With Emotional Pain In Safe and Healthy Ways

Holly Guy

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2020 for most of us has been one wild ride that we’d like to get off of in the near future, right? If you are feeling a whirlwind of emotions and wondering how to deal with emotional pain in a healthy way, this post is dedicated to you.

how to deal with emotional pain in safe, healthy ways

We can all suffer from emotional pain.

Symptoms include sadness, depression, anger, and other uncomfortable feelings. 

We can feel emotional pain after a relationship breakup, or when somebody has said or done something to hurt our feelings. We can feel it after the loss of a job we were passionate about, a bad medical report, or when somebody close to us dies.

Choosing poor ‘coping’ behaviors like comfort eating, drinking alcohol to ‘numb,’ lashing out at others, or even self-harm, only lead to more problems. All of these are invalid solutions to valid feelings.

So, what are the best ways to handle emotional pain then? These are but a few ideas that won’t bring you lasting, negative consequences.

Remember, trouble won’t last always!

Become Your Own Best Friend

When we are overwhelmed with emotional pain, it’s easy to become increasingly self-critical.

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • “Why am I such a problem?”
  • “Why can’t I just ‘snap out’ of feeling like this?”
  • “How come everyone else is so happy and I’m not?”
  • “I just can’t seem to do anything right lately.”
  • “What if I had done ___ or didn’t do ___.”
  • “If I only had ____ or did ____, I’d be better off and happier.”

All of these thoughts are not only harmful, but they’re untrue!

Do me a favor, will you? Ask yourself, “Would I say this to my own best friend coming to me for advice?”

If the answer is no, why should you be saying it to yourself, or treating yourself so harshly?

In times of hardship and difficult emotions, remember this: YOU are not the problem! You may be facing problems, but you, yourself, are not the problem.

Sure, there are areas where we need to grow and mature. We have not arrived at some form of perfection, and I’m not suggesting that.

What I am saying is that as long as we are open-minded, teachable spirits, still growing and learning, we’re on the right track.

Show yourself some love and compassion. Be your own best friend. Give yourself space and grace while learning how to deal with emotional pain.

In time, you will be feeling much more like yourself again. For now, it’s okay to not feel okay.

It’s not a life requirement to have it all together all the time, or to have all the answers. Be kinder to yourself. We’re all growing. #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #emotions #wellness #wellbeing #health


Be With People Who Celebrate and Inspire You

how to deal with emotional pain - be with people who celebrate you

When feeling emotional pain, you might be tempted to shut yourself away.

However, while alone time can be a useful part of the healing process, you don’t want to self-isolate for long periods of time.

You might ruminate and brood on your sad thoughts if you do, and without the company of others, you might be inclined to fall deeper into that black hole of despair.

But when you’re with people you love and trust, you will have people to talk and laugh with. You will have people to pray with, and people whose shoulders you can cry on. They might distract you from your pain too, and that will give you some respite. 

So, don’t be alone. The comfort and support of others will help get you through your pain.

Don’t have anyone nearby that you trust? Consider joining an online group of like-minded people. When you find others who have similar stories to yours, it helps lessen feelings of isolation.

Seek Professional Help

If you were in physical pain, you would see your doctor, your chiropractor, or some sort of specialist. You would ask them to do whatever they could to ease your pain.

Why not do the same when you’re hurting emotionally? The pain you feel inside can be just as damaging as any physical pain you might feel. Mental health matters and should be taken seriously.

So, don’t reject the idea of professional help. If your emotional pain is overwhelming, please seek the assistance of a trained therapist.

Are you struggling with PTSD or deeply rooted trauma? Consider a treatment program like EMDR therapy.

Seek professional support if you start binge eating too, or if you fall into other dangerous patterns of behavior. There are so many amazing resources available. Do some online research, or ask your doctor for help finding the right resource for you.

Sharing our thoughts and feelings in a safe environment gives us the ability to move forward toward wholeness.

How To Deal With Emotional Pain: Give Your Brain A Boost

I want you to picture something in your mind, if you will. Think of a hammer. What does a hammer do?

In my mind, a hammer can be used to build something amazing. Or, it can be used for demolition and destruction!

Our brains work much the same way as that hammer. We can harness the power of our minds for building a great future. Or, we can use it to destroy our today and tomorrows.

Curious how you can use your brain like that hammer which builds a better tomorrow? What about…

  • Boosting your mood the natural way
  • Start a new hobby. You don’t have to be good at it. You just need to enjoy it! Here are 50 hobby ideas to motivate you!
  • Spend time in the presence of God, leaving your worries at the foot of the Cross
  • Get out in nature and take a walk. (it’s amazing!)
  • Start writing/journaling. Write everything. What you’re worried about, thankful for, praying for, afraid of, anything! Writing is cathartic. You are processing your feelings and learning how to deal with emotional pain without even realizing it!
  • De-clutter your life! “Decluttering utilizes your decision-making and problem-solving skills,” says Alice Boyes from Psychology Today. Donate your extra items to charity and receive another mental health boost!
  • Go, volunteer. It may feel like the last thing you want to do. But, I promise you, helping others takes the focus off of your own pain. Seeing the suffering of others helps us help them with what we’ve learned, and helps us realize how blessed we are!

When we accomplish any goal, even the small ones, our mental health improves. We feel competent and able to take on challenges. When we feel confident and peaceful, we give ourselves a better chance of healing from emotional pain.

Past, Present, Future

how to deal with emotional pain - past, present, future

In my office, I have a piece of print art that reads, “The past is your lesson, the present is your gift, the future is your motivation.”

Are we rehashing pains from our past daily in our minds?

Are we rehearsing all the bad that has happened by telling anyone who will listen?

If you broke your arm – would you keep hitting it on purpose to make it hurt? Of course not!

So why would we choose to keep ‘hitting’ our painful emotional wounds?

It is good to work through pain with trusted friends, pastors, and professionals.

What we must remember is to not remain stuck there.

Rain Creates Rainbows

how to deal with emotional pain - count your rainbows not your thunderstorms

When we are learning how to deal with emotional pain, we must remember that our greatest pain becomes fuel for our purpose.

Those terrible storms and heavy rain clouds give birth to the most magnificent rainbows! Your rainbow is on the way!

Time to share YOUR thoughts!

In what ways have you learned how to deal with emotional pain? What has helped you the most in your own life?

I know it’s tough right now for so many of us. I pray that the Lord of all comfort would wrap His arms of love so tightly around you that all fear, anxiety, and despair, completely disappear. 🙏🏼

If this has helped or blessed you, please share with your social media family. Thank you!

Need encouragement? Have a listen…

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This article was originally posted by Holly at Love it? Visit the Wholeness Haven blog for more posts like this one!