Sucker punch of grief – Divorce Minister

David Derksen

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His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep.

-Genesis 37:35, NLT

That is how grief works sometimes. It reminds us of the loss even when we thought we were “over it.”

I was driving along and started thinking of an old friend and mentor…

He and his wife were killed in a tragic car accident roughly two years ago. It still is hard to believe they are gone.

This was a friend who stood by me through my divorce and remarriage. I miss him. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. He mattered, and I am grateful I had the time that I did with him (them).

I write this to just share that it is normal to experience grief years after the loss. Also, it is normal for grief to surprise us. We might think we were done with grief, but sometimes grief has other ideas.

That is okay.

It is just the emotional process. This just means who or what you loss mattered to you. It is a good thing that you could be so attached to them.

Republished with permission from

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