Being older does not mean he is humble! - Divorce Minister

Skip to content

Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

-Matthew 15:14, KJV

I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce.

But that would be a dangerously false assumption to have.

When I went through my ecclesiastical trial to retain my minister’s license and its aftermath, I had occasion to work with seasoned pastors who were around my father’s age.

These were men with decades of experience leading churches or otherwise experienced in ministry. But they were–mostly–woefully unprepared to provide competent pastoral care for me.

In fact, I would consider age and experience a particular liability for at least one of them. He assumed he knew what I needed and lacked humility on these matters. The blindness to his own unbiblical, divorce prejudice was rather striking, actually!

A pastor with a great deal of experience as a minister may approach a faithful spouse with arrogance; or the pastor may choose humility. Age and experience does not necessarily dictate which path the pastor selects.

Young pastors are not the only ones who pastor arrogantly.

Nor is humility a virtue only older pastors possess (thankfully).

Look for the virtues of kindness and humility. Age is a poor proxy for virtue. Do not assume an older pastor will get “it” right simply because he or she has lived a longer life as a pastor.

Their age might simply mean they have had more time to entrench their harmful and unbiblical thinking on the matters of adultery and divorce.

*A version of this post ran previously.

Give

Subscribe to the Daybreak Devotions for Women

Be inspired by God's Word every day! Delivered to your inbox.


More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Overflow from the heart - Divorce Minister

    21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person. -Mark 7:21-23, NIV Cheating did not happen overnight. An idea was planted. The Cheater watered it, and it produced the rotten … Continue reading "Overflow from the heart"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    So, so many lies! - Divorce Minister

    “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” -John 8:43b, NIV What was true? Was anything? So many lies come out of the mouths of Cheaters. The spoken … Continue reading "So, so many lies!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters - Divorce Minister

    “Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV I’ve noticed a phenomenon among pastors dealing with female Cheaters: They have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female … Continue reading "Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Grief gets us stuck sometimes - Divorce Minister

    His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Grief gets us stuck sometimes. It is a lot of loss all at once to discover your spouse’s double-life. You have … Continue reading "Grief gets us stuck sometimes"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Stick to your "guns" - Divorce Minister

    Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Stick to your “guns!” Do not waste your time with a pastor or counselor who wants to go over your marriage “troubles” while avoiding the infidelity of your spouse. This … Continue reading "Stick to your “guns”"

    2 min read

Editor's Picks

  • featureImage

    Gratitude on the Go — Carol McLeod Ministries

    In case you have forgotten this important piece of information about my life or have somehow missed it – my daily walks are nothing if not legendary . I have had numerous divine appointments with needy, hurting people as I saunter along my 3-mile route in the neighborhoods near my home.

    7 min read
  • featureImage

    It’s crazy to be ‘crazy busy’

    By Elizabeth Prata SYNOPSIS The seventh day, sanctified by God for rest, underlines a universal need for downtime. Studies indicate productivity diminishes beyond 55-hour workweeks, showing GodR…

    8 min read

More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Overflow from the heart - Divorce Minister

    21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person. -Mark 7:21-23, NIV Cheating did not happen overnight. An idea was planted. The Cheater watered it, and it produced the rotten … Continue reading "Overflow from the heart"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    So, so many lies! - Divorce Minister

    “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” -John 8:43b, NIV What was true? Was anything? So many lies come out of the mouths of Cheaters. The spoken … Continue reading "So, so many lies!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters - Divorce Minister

    “Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV I’ve noticed a phenomenon among pastors dealing with female Cheaters: They have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female … Continue reading "Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Grief gets us stuck sometimes - Divorce Minister

    His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Grief gets us stuck sometimes. It is a lot of loss all at once to discover your spouse’s double-life. You have … Continue reading "Grief gets us stuck sometimes"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Stick to your "guns" - Divorce Minister

    Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Stick to your “guns!” Do not waste your time with a pastor or counselor who wants to go over your marriage “troubles” while avoiding the infidelity of your spouse. This … Continue reading "Stick to your “guns”"

    2 min read