Cheater-Speak: "We NEVER talk!" - Divorce Minister

Skip to content

“We NEVER talk!” cries Cheater.

The irony about this sort of statement from a cheater is how their own failure to talk with the faithful spouse is by design.

Whether emotional or physical or both, the affair was a relationship cloaked in secrecy. The cheater did not communicate this critical information–namely their cheating–to the faithful spouse.

Yet, now, the cheater wants to complain about “communication issues” as if their side does not hold the greatest share of such issues!

I would not recommend continuing a conversation with a cheater who is stuck in this mentality. They have already chosen to blame you for their sins.

The marriage is over. They are not going to repent in that mindset.

A wise pastor can spot this and help the faithful spouse avoid further abuse by stating this sad reality about the marriage. It is not in the faithful spouse’s best interest–emotionally or spiritually–to continue conversations where the cheater blames them for the marriage issues while refusing to repent for cheating.

A repentant cheater understands they blew it and their marriage concerns pale in comparison to what they just did to their spouse. They respect that. Then they put their partner’s needs to heal first.

Unrepentant cheaters whine and repeat their pet, marriage grievances completely cold to the damage they’ve done to their partner. That is what this “cheater-speak” reveals–i.e. an unrepentant cheater.

Post navigation

Give

Subscribe to the Daybreak Devotions for Women

Be inspired by God's Word every day! Delivered to your inbox.


More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    New attention to looks! - Divorce Minister

    New attention to their appearance A telltale sign of cheating is a new found focus on one’s appearance. This might manifest via going on a diet, increased exercise routine, or changing hair colors and style. In and of itself, this does not equate to cheating. However, the motive behind these changes is worth considering. I … Continue reading "New attention to looks!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater's. - Divorce Minister

    Public Service Announcement(PSA): Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s individual therapist.* If this therapist was half competent, they would not even agree to work on you as a couple. They would recognize that they naturally would be biased against you, the faithful spouse. Plus, do you really want the therapist who was present through … Continue reading "PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s."

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay! - Divorce Minister

    “I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.” -I Corinthians 5:11, NLT One of the many pains associated with discovering … Continue reading "No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Overflow from the heart - Divorce Minister

    21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person. -Mark 7:21-23, NIV Cheating did not happen overnight. An idea was planted. The Cheater watered it, and it produced the rotten … Continue reading "Overflow from the heart"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    So, so many lies! - Divorce Minister

    “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” -John 8:43b, NIV What was true? Was anything? So many lies come out of the mouths of Cheaters. The spoken … Continue reading "So, so many lies!"

    2 min read

Editor's Picks

More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    New attention to looks! - Divorce Minister

    New attention to their appearance A telltale sign of cheating is a new found focus on one’s appearance. This might manifest via going on a diet, increased exercise routine, or changing hair colors and style. In and of itself, this does not equate to cheating. However, the motive behind these changes is worth considering. I … Continue reading "New attention to looks!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater's. - Divorce Minister

    Public Service Announcement(PSA): Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s individual therapist.* If this therapist was half competent, they would not even agree to work on you as a couple. They would recognize that they naturally would be biased against you, the faithful spouse. Plus, do you really want the therapist who was present through … Continue reading "PSA: Use a different therapist than your Cheater’s."

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay! - Divorce Minister

    “I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.” -I Corinthians 5:11, NLT One of the many pains associated with discovering … Continue reading "No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Overflow from the heart - Divorce Minister

    21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person. -Mark 7:21-23, NIV Cheating did not happen overnight. An idea was planted. The Cheater watered it, and it produced the rotten … Continue reading "Overflow from the heart"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    So, so many lies! - Divorce Minister

    “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” -John 8:43b, NIV What was true? Was anything? So many lies come out of the mouths of Cheaters. The spoken … Continue reading "So, so many lies!"

    2 min read