The Final Fifteen

“These last fifteen years of our life are the most important ones.”

I’m not sure what prompted that particular number, except when I said those words to my new husband I was hoping we’d have at least fifteen years together. I was sixty-one and Nick sixty-eight when we met and married in 2021.

Losing a spouse in 2012 had thrust me into a journey of faith, one that led to a personal relationship with Jesus. For nearly ten years I’d studied the Bible, read devotionals, and prayed daily, learning what it meant to surrender my life to God. My dating profile on a Christian dating website reflected as much. The man I was looking for would put God first. He’d be willing to grow in faith together. He would pray with me. He’d love my eight children.

One male friend warned my profile would scare most men away.

Exactly. I wasn’t looking for most men. I was so close to God by then, a man would have to be seeking Him to find me.

Nick’s own spousal loss had led him on his own search, a sentiment he shares in our book Soul Mates: Path to a Praying Partnership. We held hands for the first time as we shared a prayer on our second date:

Nick says: My first wife’s death in 2018 forced me to face my own mortality. I wanted to be certain I was headed to Heaven. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but I was seeking something beyond myself, something I’d seen in my brother Pat, who read the Bible daily. When Mary first asked to pray with me, I admit I was surprised at the prayer. I’d expected either silent prayer or one we’d both memorized as Catholics. Instead, she took hold of my hands and prayed out loud, talking to God as if he was her friend.

God was, indeed, my friend. I knew Him intimately, counting on His Holy Spirit for guidance and discernment. In fact, during the first weeks of our courtship, I had the audacity to think I was to lead Nick down the path I’d already walked, that I’d somehow “arrived” as a true Christ follower, one who could lead their spouse to God. Nick’s occasional missteps early in his journey seemed to affirm my misguided notion. He’d inevitably stumble, and I’d be right there to point it out. Ouch.

It took many months and shared experiences, such as Covid, my cancer, Nick’s retirement, a along with our morning bible studies, for it to dawn on me I was learning just as much from my husband as he was from me. It was humbling to admit God still had work to do in me and will continue working in me as I strive to be more like Jesus. The truth is God planted the Holy Spirit in Nick’s heart the moment he accepted Jesus as his Savior. We are on equal footing, both a work in progress.

That is why these next years are the most important ones of our lives; Because now we are following Jesus, walking the path of Heaven together, side-by-side. Now, we know Him.

 John 10:27

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. (NIV)