12th Sunday in Ordinary Time: Struggling with God

When we find ourselves at the darkest and deepest pit of misery and despair, when all is lost and we have nowhere to run to and no one to call, perhaps we may have cried to God for help and pleaded with God to redeem us from the abyss of gloom and agony. But perhaps it was not just a gentle cry for help but also expressions of questioning even anger at God. “Where are you God in all my travails? Why have you let this happen to me? Why are you so far from me? Why are you sleeping while the mighty storms of life batters me from all directions?”

Others may be scandalized by this and say that despite all the hardships, we need not question God or worst get angry at God. For this may be a sign of a lack of faith and disrespect, or worst, hostility towards God. But questioning and getting angry at God may also be the starting point to a deeper trust, loyalty and faith in God.

This is the experience of our characters in the readings for today’s 12th Sunday in Ordinary Time. In the first reading, Job was grappling with his belief in God in the context of the terrible afflictions that has befallen him. Job was struggling to find words to explain his tremendous suffering in view of the fact that he had always walked uprightly before God.

God had long delayed answering Job’s prayers. But when God finally answered Job, God reminded him that God’s utter providence and benevolence will finally empower Job to pass over from all his suffering. As we read in today’s first reading,

Who shut within doors the sea,
when it burst forth from the womb;
when I made the clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling bands?
When I set limits for it
and fastened the bar of its door,
and said: Thus far shall you come but no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stilled!

In the gospel, the disciples of Jesus were complaining why Jesus was sleeping even though the turbulence is close to flooding the whole boat they were all riding in. The gospel reads,

A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat,
so that it was already filling up.
Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion.
They woke him and said to him,
“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”

Just like God with Job, Jesus reminded the disciples of God’s power by stilling the wind and calming the waves.

He woke up,
rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!”
The wind ceased and there was great calm.
Then he asked them, “Why are you terrified?
Do you not yet have faith?”
They were filled with great awe and said to one another,
“Who then is this whom even wind and sea obey?”

Like Job and the disciples, we too struggle with our belief and trust in God especially in the most difficult times. Especially during this pandemic, many felt that God is so far away or even have abandoned us. How can we believe in a loving God when people around us are dying and thousands suffer due to job loss, hunger and loneliness because of covid-19? Despite the pandemic, however, we found the opportunity to truly discern the most essential things in life and found support and strenght in one another. As Pope Francis reflecting on today’s gospel passage in the midst of the pandemic, says

Like the disciples in the Gospel we were caught off guard by an unexpected, turbulent storm. We have realized that we are on the same boat, all of us fragile and disoriented, but at the same time important and needed, all of us called to row together, each of us in need of comforting the other. On this boat … are all of us. Just like those disciples, who spoke anxiously with one voice, saying “we are perishing” (v. 38), so we too have realized that we cannot go on thinking of ourselves, but only together can we do this.

Pope Francis, Urbi et Orbi
address on Jesus calming the storm

Faith in God is not an easy feat. More often than not, we struggle with God, especially in times of difficulties, suffering, and death. For true faith is not merely the membership in a church nor the assent to dogmas nor the obedience to laws and commandments. True faith is the acceptance of God’s sovereignity in our lives and God’s reign in the world. This involves total surrender, trust and commitment to God.

Our Lord does not cause the pain and sorrows of our lives. In the midst of our suffering and difficulties, God induces our faith and trust in him to allow God’s love to empower us. He cares enough about us to allow pain and sorrow to find us and to stretch us and to open doors to a deeper relation with him.

But more than this, God joins us, and invites us to join him in the saving, widening power of reversal: instead of only happy, painless living, we are allowed to take part in human form in this life of God.

I am passionate about the intersection between new media and technology. I continue to research and apply new media in theology and vice-versa. I am also a fan of Our Mother of Perpetual Help and her continuing relevance in today's digital world.
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