9 Unmistakable Signs A Man Has A Fragile Ego - Olubunmi Mabel
The popular myth is that men are very egotistical.
While this may be true for some men, it is not a reality for all.
I believe every human has an ego, although some are larger than others.
However, being in a relationship with a man with a fragile ego can be challenging.
It could make communication a whole lot harder.
There are many ways in which a man can manifest a fragile ego.
Some of them bear a little resemblance to the signs a man is cheating on you.
You may need a little help to discern what is going on properly.
In this article, I will be providing the exact help you need.
We will explore the telltale signs that a man has a fragile ego and, as a little extra, how to deal with this.
Come along!
9 Unmistakeable Signs A Man Has A Fragile Ego
1. Defensiveness at the slightest criticism
“No one is perfect, ” but don’t tell this to a man who has a fragile ego.
He doesn’t exactly think he isn’t perfect.
This is why he reacts defensively at the slightest hint of criticism.
By criticism, I don’t mean the very destructive kind, like telling him he can’t do anything good or nagging him all the time.
No one can continue to take nagging without getting angry.
So, if you nag and your man gets angry, it doesn’t mean he has a fragile ego.
However, imagine a scenario where a furious reaction meets a simple suggestion or when an overblown reaction meets a harmless question.
That’s the kind of situation that can make you come to this conclusion.
The fact is that a man with a fragile ego tends to see an attack in even the most constructive feedback.
He feels like any attempt to correct him is an attack on his person and treats it like a declaration of war.
He instantly flies into defensive mode, trying to protect his ego.
This need to protect his ego comes from deep-seated insecurity and inferiority.
He may not act like it, but deep down, he is unsure of himself, hence his desperate need to protect his self-image.
2. He is a perfectionist
I have seen people claim to be perfectionists, and while they don’t say it out loud, I know their perfectionism stems from a place of fear.
They are afraid of getting things wrong.
They are scared of making mistakes.
This sense of fear comes from having a fragile ego.
If your ego is fragile, then you will want to save yourself from anything that could bruise it.
When a man has a fragile ego, he hates correction.
To ensure that he doesn’t get corrected, he adopts perfectionistic tendencies.
He sets unrealistically high standards for himself and others because he believes every mistake directly reflects his inadequacies.
If you are with a man with a fragile ego, you may have noticed that he holds you to very high standards.
If he is your husband, he may hold the kids to unrealistically high standards.
If they are into sports, they must always be the best.
In their academics, they must always be the brightest.
Really, it’s not wrong for parents to want the best for their children.
But, when it takes on a certain obsessive quality that makes him refuse to acknowledge and appreciate their efforts, it could be a sign of perfectionism.
And you are not exempt from this tendency.
He sets unrealistic expectations for you, and while he hates corrections, he shows no hesitation in brutally correcting you.
This can make relationship with him so strained and exhausting.
If you feel this way about your relationship, you may be with a man with a fragile ego.
3. He needs constant validation
I usually see people talking about how they don’t need anyone’s validation, and I find this funny.
The fact is we all do, sometimes.
There are times we need to hear the people we value the most tell us they love us.
We all need to be complimented by the people we love.
However, we don’t always need validation from others to feel good about ourselves.
The difference is that a man with a fragile ego always needs validation to feel good about himself.
Not only does he need it, he constantly goes out of his way to seek validation.
He wants always to be the center of attention and to be constantly praised.
He becomes sulky and annoyed with everyone around him when he isn’t.
He is addicted, and validation is his drug.
4. He never apologizes
For a man with a fragile ego, making a mistake is impossible.
It is a possibility that doesn’t exist for him.
Hence, it is practically impossible for him to apologize for any wrongdoings.
Apologizing is synonymous with admitting that he has made a mistake.
So, what does he do?
He either blames you for his wrong behavior or tries to gloss over things and act like nothing happened.
A man with a fragile ego is the world’s best gaslighter.
He would do something wrong to you and somehow make you feel like you are wrong to be offended at him.
Growing up, I saw many men with fragile egos.
They were quick to offend their wives and very slow to apologize.
Sadly, many of the women accepted that as normal male behavior.
Well, I am here to announce that it’s not normal for men to offend people without apologizing.
Many men apologize when they are wrong.
However, if your man doesn’t, it is a sign he has a fragile ego.
5. He doesn’t know how to handle failure
I used to dread failure so much that it stopped me from trying new things.
I didn’t want to do anything I wasn’t comfortable or familiar with because I was always scared of failure until I realized how much that fear had robbed me of.
I still battle this fear, but I have learned to do new things more often.
I now know that fear of failure only robs you of the feeling of victory that comes with success.
A man who has a fragile ego is like this.
He doesn’t know how to handle failure and is scared of trying new things.
Failure is part of life, but to him, it is the end of the world.
He feels that failing diminishes his worth in the eyes of others, and because of this, he avoids new challenges.
If you are with a man who is reluctant to step out of his comfort zone, it may be a sign that he has a fragile ego.
6. He is often indecisive
From time to time, we all struggle with indecision.
There are times when we don’t know what to do and have to spend time thinking of what to do.
A man with a fragile ego struggles with indecision all the time.
He is constantly afraid of being ridiculed for his choices.
Hence, he spends too much time making even simple decisions.
If your man is always hesitant or uncertain about significant and trivial matters, it may be a sign that he has a fragile ego.
7. He keeps grudges
“To err is human; to forgive is divine.”
A man who has a fragile ego takes this quote to heart.
He leaves forgiveness to God.
He finds it difficult to forgive when he is offended.
He finds it challenging to let go of past grievances.
He holds on to past offenses and usually brings them up when they suit him.
So, if he has this uncanny way of remembering things you did to him years ago and using them to justify whatever he is doing, it is a sign that his ego is fragile.
I remember how a friend of mine did the same thing in his relationship.
He kept on holding grudges against his girlfriend.
Whenever they argued, he would mention various things she had done in the past.
This strained their relationship and made it very difficult for them to resolve conflicts effectively.
At some point, she decided to choose her peace of mind and leave the relationship.
8. He can be really aggressive
We have agreed that men who have fragile egos are basically insecure.
Well, in order to hide their insecurities, they may usually react aggressively.
It is usually a defense mechanism to assert dominance over you.
He tries to hide his inadequacies by being aggressive, which may be displayed in various ways.
Most men with fragile egos resort to verbal outbursts.
However, some may go beyond that into the realm of physical abuse.
This creates a toxic love environment.
9. He brags a lot
If you don’t sing your own praises, who will?
I know some people who try to be so humble that they end up diminishing themselves totally.
In today’s world, you need to put yourself out there.
It is important to let people know what you do and how good you are at doing them if you really want to get the appreciation you deserve.
However, some people take it a step further.
For them, it is no longer creating awareness about what they do.
It has now become an attempt to brag and make it look like everything was their own doing.
If a man tends to overhype himself and discount the contribution of others to the outcome, it is a sign of a fragile ego.
Men with fragile egos usually love to feel good about themselves, and they won’t hesitate to pull you down if it amplifies that feeling.
When I finally realized that men who brag are actually insecure and trying to make up for their feelings of inadequacies, I stopped viewing them with anger and started pitying them instead.
Feeling good only when other people are down is a sad way to live.
If you have been mentally ticking the boxes until this point, you would have already known if you are dealing with a man with a fragile ego and may be wondering how to handle this situation.
Well, the first thing you need to know is that it is not you.
Their fragile ego is not your fault; hence, you do not need to spend your time atoning for it.
You need to be light on yourself.
Don’t be gaslit into thinking that you are at fault.
Apart from this, you could find a good time to talk to him.
Remember that you must try not to sound critical while talking since it sets him off.
Jokingly mention how he is always right and everyone else wrong.
Try to help him when you see him hesitating on decisions or avoiding challenges.
Men with fragile egos can change if they realize what’s going on and seek the help they need.
If he is inclined to work on himself and be better, you can always choose to help.
However, in your bid to help him, don’t forget to prioritize your well-being.
If the relationship begins to threaten your well-being, you need to consider leaving that toxic relationship.
No relationship is worth losing your life over.
