A Novel Approach to Marriage
Photo image courtesy Nancy C. Williams
My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; my tongue is the pen of a ready writer. – Psalm 45:1
As a novelist, I have a pipe dream of writing a best-seller, an enchanting love story that captivates the hearts of my readers, maybe with a few fairy-tale moments in it.
I could use my own “love story” with my beloved husband, following the usual plotline—boy meets girl, they fall in love, and challenges threaten to separate them. But love prevails, they get married, and they live happily ever after.
Except, in real life, our story isn’t terribly exciting. If you were reading our “marriage novel,” with chapters assigned to each year, you’d be halfway through our 37th chapter...and you’d probably be yawning!
That’s quite all right with me. Our life together has been mostly peaceful, thanks to the miracle of marrying a Prince Charming who loves me despite my flaws.
Oh, we’ve had our share of issues—caring for aging parents, financial stressors, kid trouble, healthcare needs, workloads, and more. Even though my husband and I have worked through many conflicts, each day brings new challenges to hash out solutions we can both accept.
Real love rarely resembles what you see in novels or movies. Tying the knot means getting a long string with lots of little knots attached.
Christian marriages, however, have a slightly different plot line. Instead of only two characters working it out, there’s a third personality in the relationship—Jesus.
Having Christ in the center of our marriage is why we’ve had a happy life together. We’re able to hold fast to each other, in thick and thin, as we choose to honor Jesus above all other demands on us.
The writer of Ecclesiastes notes that a “three-fold cord is not quickly broken” (see Ecclesiastes 4:12). That’s especially true for those who seek longevity in marriage. My husband and I vowed at our wedding before God and witnesses to remain faithful to Him and to each other. That assurance brings us peace for the long term. It also brings consistent love.
With Christ’s indwelling presence, we can still laugh with each other, sacrifice for each other, and consider ourselves sweethearts. His Spirit gives us reasons to praise each other and support each other through trials.
How do we manage to “keep Christ” in our marriage? There’s no single answer, but praying together for our loved ones as well as ourselves is a key component. We stay consistent in going to church, doing Bible study together, and keeping guardrails around our social lives. We’re also usually in agreement about contributing financially to God’s work.
Jesus is our refuge and hope, too, when life doesn’t go as planned. He reminds me frequently of the blessing He has provided in bringing us together.
As you write your own marriage story, remember that Christ is the firm foundation for it. Seek His presence and observe His guidance for your relationship. You’ll be surprised at what a beautiful true-love story your marriage can become. And maybe you can write a book about it!
Questions for Reflection:
1. How can you build your marriage around Christ?
2. What are some ways you can serve your spouse to show true love?
3. How can you assure your loved one of your faithfulness?
