Attention Parents of Prodigals! There is Hope via 'Warfare Parenting'

As parents, for as much as we believe that our children will grow up and follow in the way they were raised, the reality is that every young person sees the world in a way that is unique to their individuality. And sometimes, that mindset is in direct conflict with how they were nurtured, and even more troubling, it crosses the boundaries between right and wrong.

Award-winning author and podcast host Laine Lawson Craft knows this scenario all too well. Despite raising her three children in a Christ-focused home, each fell prey to substance abuse and rebellion, setting up a fierce spiritual battle that raged in her home for many years.

Refusing to lose her children to the perils of an enemy-fueled culture, Craft dug in and developed a battle-tested system that ultimately rescued her children from slipping away to the world at large.  In her latest book, Warfare Parenting: A Daily Battle Plan to Fight for Your Child, the Florida native delivers hope-filled insights and Biblical encouragement to assist and guide parents of prodigals as they seek the return of their child.

I recently sat down with Craft to discuss why traditional parenting methods seem insufficient today, the importance of prayer and wearing spiritual armor, and some practical steps to facilitate forgiveness and healing.

For every author, there always seems to be a moment or a trigger where you say to yourself, “I have to write this book!!” For Warfare Parenting what was that moment for you?

It's a really interesting story. I was reading through the Bible, and the Lord really brought me in the last 10 years to love the Word of God. And so, I started reading through the Bible in a year, and then I finished reading the Bible in 90 days. And in one of those seasons, I was reading January 1, and the Lord said, ‘Every time you read the Bible daily, I want you to pull a Scripture that would speak specifically to a parent, grandparent, or loved one that is in the battle for a child they love.’ And that was after ‘The Parents' Battle Plan Warfare Strategies to Win Back Your Prodigal’ was written. That was already in the works for parents. But you know, God knew something I didn't, and that was, you get really weary. I had experienced that when my three kids were prodigals and I didn't really have anybody else to hold my arms up at that moment. That’s why I wrote this book. That's why I'm so passionate about it, because number one, sometimes we just don't know where to start in the battle. And this is just a simple way to start a battle plan for a parent or grandparent, but also when you're tired, when you're disappointed, when you're discouraged, you can open up this every day and find some sense of hope and direction.

I understand that you and your husband raised your three children in a Christian home, yet each one of your kids experienced a prodigal journey. What is the warfare strategy that changed everything?

First and foremost when I realized that I wasn't in battle with these three kids, and they each uniquely had challenges, it sort of changed everything. My two boys were into partying, alcohol, drugs, you name it. And my daughter actually suffered from depression. There was a point in her 17 to 18-year-old age that she would hear voices that life would be better without her in it. And thank God she had a friend that she could confide in and say, ‘I'm hearing these voices.’ And they grabbed hands in her car and began to pray. And my daughter said, ‘I'm certain it was God mama, because my tears dried up and I felt a warmth.’ She was forever changed and rescued that day. 

And it was one particular moment when I realized I was not battling my three kids. I was battling the enemy. And what I mean by the enemy is the culture, the media, and the one click on your phone. My kids were sucked up into all of the technology and all of the influences. And when I realized it wasn't that I was battling with them, but the enemy that was out to seek, kill and destroy them, it changed everything on how I approached it. And so, I began to approach it in a very deep, spiritual way. And that first began with just a real warfare prayer.

What led you to believe that traditional parenting methods and techniques were insufficient for today’s teen crisis?

It was only God. God had previously resurrected my dead 17-year-old marriage. My husband and I got to a point where we were both self-employed. We had three kids in three years with a lot of stress and it layered on us. We were at a point where we were living on opposite ends of the house. We came to a point and said, ‘Hey, we're probably going to divorce, but let's think about that. Are we really going to stay single?’ And when we realized that most likely we're not going to stay single, we said, ‘If we're going to start over, why not start again with each other?’ And that's where God came in because we looked at each other, we fell to our knees and said, ‘God, if you are for real, then you will come in and help resurrect this marriage.’ And He did. And I say that because that was our first real supernatural experience of God just coming in and moving on our behalf. That was the anchor when my three teens were just really messed up and in a dark place. It was for us to believe that God would do it for them too.

In your book, you emphasize the importance of prayer and wearing spiritual armor when fighting for your loved one. How does your warfare parenting movement contribute to a larger spiritual awakening in families?

I think when we realize that it is a spiritual battle, we begin to bring God in, in a much more intimate way ourselves as parents and grandparents because we realize that God has entrusted us with these kids to steward them. And we start really realizing our authority and our identity spiritually. That helps us begin to have the helmet of salvation, meaning I'm not going to think like Lane would think, even though this kid has gotten in trouble again for the same infraction. I'm going to look at it and ask myself, how can I touch his heart? How can I pivot this situation so that he can see there's such a great need for change? I'm really hopeful that one day there will be warfare parenting small groups all across our country, whether it's in a community, a church, or even a home, because I know personally that it can be very isolating when you love the Lord and your kids are living in darkness.

So, I wanted to create a safe place for parents to come in and pray together or they can say, ‘Hey, do you have a way that works? Because I can't seem to find one.’ And just having that fellowship of not feeling so much shame is crucial. 

I realize that not all prodigal stories have happy endings. What message of hope can you share for people who are separated from or have lost a prodigal child?

We pray for the miracle of our child to return. But I don't want to be Pollyanna. I don't want people to think, oh, you just pray and it happens. We're seeing way too many kids take their own life. Suicide is up 25%. So, what I say to the parents and loved ones is, listen, the miracle you pray for might not have happened, but the miracle is that you're still here, that you're still walking in God's grace, and in the hope that God has promised that we will be reunited when we get together in heaven.

With that said, do you think declaring victory, even when there are still spiritual struggles going on, can serve as a source of strength for both the parent and the prodigal? If so, how?

For me, I consider it waiting in expectancy. So instead of just saying, God, are you going to come around? I would just say, God, I know you've got it. I know you're going to do this, but it's going to be in your timing. It took my eldest prodigal the longest. It took 15 plus years for him to have a touch of God that changed his life.

When a prodigal does return, what are some practical steps to facilitate forgiveness and healing?

Thank you for asking because I wish somebody would have told me it is a process. Sure, God can come in and change things suddenly and instantly, and He did for all three of my kids, but they had to walk it out. Even in my marriage restoration, we had to do 18 months of very heavy, burdened counseling, to learn a new dance in our marriage. Well, it was the same for kids. If they've been doing drugs and alcohol, or if it's been a long period where you haven't spoken, these things take time. And so the first thing I tell parents is to just celebrate that small first step. Celebrate it, and then just ask for God's patience. Personally, I'm not the most patient mama, so patience is a virtue. Patience is something that God gives us and I had to pray for that because it does take time to undo some wrongs. It takes time to make up for lost time. And I will tell you real quickly, learning the words, “I'm sorry” for both sides was really pivotal in the healing process.

After your readers have had a chance to pick up a copy of Warfare Parenting and give it a read, what would you like to see them take away from that experience? What's your greatest hope for the book?

Two things. One is that they will win that victory while they're reading the book and staying in hope and expectancy. But secondly, that they would consider starting a warfare parenting small group at their home, in their church, or in their community. It's going to take all of us to stand in the gap for this generation and for generations to come, to know and serve God, and to love Him because He loves us so much. I love to tell parents that He leaves the 99 for the one. He always does. And He proved that in my life. And so, I hope that they'll leave strengthened with hope and that they see the victory and that maybe they'll find a calling in their heart to help other parents and grandparents.

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