Be Better At Influencing Others for Good - Lisa E Betz

Do you want to influence your world for good but sometimes you feel like the problems are too huge and nothing you do will make any difference? Please don’t give up. You and I can influence others for good. One person at a time. One situation at a time. And those small moments add up to significant changes in the lives of those we interact with.

This post will help you become more intentional about influencing others.

Control vs. Influence

This post IS NOT about fixing others, correcting others, or standing on the high moral ground shaking our fingers at people. Because the more we try control others and their actions, the more they resist. And the more damage we end up doing.

Instead, we want to influence them—and real influence happens through healthy relationships. Not arguing or lecturing or nagging.

So, let’s influence others quietly and kindly, doing our small acts of good in the world. Let’s focus on building relationships, trust, and respect, believing that those are the foundations of making a positive impact on the lives of those around us.

Are you with me?

So, here are nine simple ideas for respectfully and intentionally influencing others for good.

Make others feel seen and heard

Listen well before you speak. One of the best ways to demonstrate that you care about someone is to listen actively and attentively. Most of us are quick to jump in with our opinion or a quick fix before we’ve heard the whole story. Active, compassionate listening is hard work. It takes an investment in time and energy to sit quietly and listen. But when we do, we not only offer our friend a rare chance to be seen and heard, but we also avoid a lot of potential misunderstandings and foot-in-mouth moments.

Honor cultural differences. All humans see the world through the lens of their experiences, culture, and family of origin. It’s easy to forget that other people don’t use the same lens we do. Therefore, we need to be aware of our assumptions about “how life ought to be done” and remember our preferences aren’t the only right way. When we honor another’s culture or upbringing, we are showing that we esteem them.

Agree to disagree while remaining friends. We don’t need everyone around us to share our opinions or do things the way we think they ought to be done. Yes, it can be challenging to keep our mouths shut when others see things differently. But proving that the relationship is more important than our viewpoint or moral values speaks love and care rather than judgement. So long as the relationship hasn’t turned toxic, we can embrace our differences while continuing to support and respect each other.

In fact, it’s healthy for us to interact with people who have a wide variety of viewpoints, opinions, and priorities. It prevents us from getting stuck in too narrow a worldview and keeps us humble and learning.

Spread positivity and kindness

Be kind rather than right. Most of us LIKE proving we are right. (Me included.) But proving we are right often involves an aspect of judgement or criticism which harms rather than strengthens the relationship. Obviously, when we are in a position of authority, we may need to step in and correct. But in a typical friendship, kindness is the better way to make a positive difference.

Be a role model of civility. How we treat other people matters. With each interaction, we have the potential to lift others up or pull them down. Civility not only treats others with respect and dignity, it also diffuses tension, enhances belonging, and guides us to conversations that are constructive rather than destructive.

We can model civility by acting politely even in the face of rudeness or apathy. In doing so, we make the world a better place by spreading respect and defusing discord.

Be a positive voice. In a world filled with fearmongering, social media rants, finger-pointing, and other negative messages, we can intentionally be a beacon of kindness, connection, and encouragement. We can gently and respectfully promote truth, justice, and change without resorting to harsh statements or complaints. We can do our small part to balance the negativity by pointing others to what is good, right, beautiful, and admirable in our world.

Take action

Support others’ creativity. We need more God-honoring art and constructive creative ideas in our world. But sharing creative projects can be hard.

We need people who believe in us while we are still learning and making rookie projects and those who encourage us that our efforts aren’t a waste of time. We need people to cheer us on when the work gets hard, or when we face setbacks. Sometimes we need people willing to support us financially (by purchasing our work, or in some other way).

Get involved. What can you do that will help another succeed? Or meet another’s need? That could mean volunteering at a service organization. It could mean becoming a coach or mentor. Or perhaps simply assisting your neighbors or coworkers when they need a helping hand.

I know how easy it is to avoid getting involved. We’re afraid of the time commitment or the emotional toll it might take. But there’s no substitute for doing what we can, when we can.

Be generous. With your smiles, compliments, and encouraging words, whether they are reciprocated or not. With your time, attention, and patience. Let the important people in your life take precedence over your carefully planned agendas. Extend grace and kindness, even to those who don’t seem to deserve it. Be quick to express gratitude. How can you show generosity today?