Being a Mom with Fibromyalgia: Survival Tips from the Trenches
So, I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis back in 2015, but the triggering event happened in 2014. In fall of 2014, I had two teenagers, a girl and a boy, ages 16 and 13. I also had two other children–a girl, age 10 and a boy, age 7. On top of it all, I homeschooled. All.of.them. And, all of them had issues like ADHD, Asperger’s, anxiety, dyslexia, sensory issues, food allergies, and regulation problems. Looking back, I marvel at how I survived all of that being a mom with fibromyalgia. Maybe that’s the real reason I practiced Christian unschooling, haha!
But, survive I did. Being a mom with fibromyalgia and homeschooling four kids at the same time taught me a few things. I hope these survival tips help you, too.
Survival tips for being a mom with fibromyalgia
Before I give you my survival tips, I have to say that of course, not all these tips will help every mom with fibromyalgia. I know that most moms with fibro are in their early 40’s on up, so most of you probably don’t have littles anymore. If you have littles, being a mom with fibromyalgia may be even more challenging because it’s hard to play with them, hug them and carry them. It’s also hard to clean up after them and care for them, I know. Some of my tips may still help you.
First, go all natural. Seriously, this is SUPER important.
Some of the latest medical research on multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) and abnormal detoxification pathways show a relationship between being a mom with fibromyalgia and having MCS. That means that your body has issues getting rid of toxins, from household toxins to food toxins. This can be genetic or induced by some other factor, but the bottom line is that you need to help your body. You can do this by reducing the number of toxins you are exposed to. That means going all natural–natural body care, natural cleaners and detergents, natural home furnishings that don’t off gas, natural remedies as much as possible, and organic food. I know this is overwhelming. It’s what I had to do and it made a huge, huge difference. If you need help with this, I created the Botany Momma membership program especially for moms like you.
Teach your children to be self-reliant.
I know this one won’t really help moms with littles. But, if your children are age 7 and up, they can do a lot without your help. They can certainly cook simple things, do chores, and even teach themselves, if you happen to homeschool. This not only helps you but it builds their life skills, self confidence, and resourcefulness. Encourage them to take initiative when it comes to needing rides or setting up playdates. Then, when you feel well, (which will be more often if you implement tip #1), you can enjoy each other more. They certainly won’t take you for granted or act entitled, either.
Be prepared for the good days.
Again, if you do tip #1, you will have more and more good days. Anticipate and plan for them. But, don’t overdo it or you will, of course, trigger a flare-up. Being a mom with fibromyalgia means planning ahead. So, what might you do on the good days to make the bad days a bit easier? Well, you can batch cook so you can just pull something out of the freezer when you’re not feeling well. You can also group your errands or household tasks, like paying bills or going to the grocery store. Or, you can make a list of fun outings with the kids you’d like to do on those days when you feel good. Then, you don’t have to think of something and you can just go and have fun together.
Being a mom with fibromyalgia means controlling triggers, if possible.
The development of fibromyalgia is associated with genetic factors, an abnormal stress response, abnormal detoxification pathways, and a few other possibilities under investigation, including autoimmune response in the spinal cord. That means that it is very important to reduce your stress as much as possible. Have a rest time each day in which you pray, meditate, do gentle movement, take a short nap, practice mindfulness for stress reduction, or try breathwork. Whatever will help you calm down, stay present and positive, and de-stress–do it! For me, I love getting out in the woods, taking a walk, or listening to worship music. When my kids were small, I had an enforced quiet time so that I could relax!
Keep moving!
It’s sounds almost counter-intuitive, but movement actually helps fibromyalgia. Don’t let your muscles get stiff or cold. Find something you can do and if necessary, get the kids involved, too. Hey, they need exercise just as much as you and it can be a way to spend time together. Simply walking a few blocks every day helps. It also gets you out of the house, into the sunlight, and among the neighbors. This will help combat depression and encourage sleep later. Make it a priority. You can even make it educational for the kids if they tag along. Turn it into an outdoor investigation or scavenger hunt. Hey, walking for 20 minutes is P.E. Nature time is science…
Work from home part-time.
I know that it is hard to work when you have fibromyalgia. Not only does the stress trigger pain and other symptoms, but the unpredictable nature of it means lots of sick days. Employers don’t tolerate that well. If necessary, you can claim disability from the Social Security Department. But, that means that you can’t take a job if you feel well enough to try working. So, I highly recommend working from home part-time. I offer a Blogging 101 class for teens that teaches the basics of writing and setting up a blog through which you could earn some income. You can also check out Boss Club for you or your teen, which teaches you how to set up your own business. That course is taught by successful serial entrepreneurs.
Use natural helps when needed.
Even if you do go all natural and feel good a lot of the time, you may still have some days when you have pain or can’t sleep. When those times come, I now use CBD. I really like LEEF Organics’ Recover Roll on and Joy Organics’ Sleep Gummies. They work really well for me. I even tested CBD against prescription pain patches and the CBD actually worked better. What I especially like is that CBD works with my body to bring about homeostasis. Pharmaceuticals only work until my liver filters them out of my body because drugs are seen by the body as toxins.
Give yourself grace.
This is a biggy, ladies. We like to do it all and pile on the guilt and shame when don’t get it all done. It’s okay. You are a great mom. You are a warrior and your efforts are good enough. Jesus loves you and sees you. He didn’t give you that long list you keep staring at in your mind.
You did. Let it go.
Being a mom with fibromyalgia means you lean on Jesus.
Being a mom with fibromyalgia doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love you or that He’s punishing or judging you somehow. There are many factors leading to fibromyalgia including genetics, stress, damaged or malfunctioning liver detox enzymes, leaky gut and allergies, and other possibilities that medicine still hasn’t uncovered. All of these are a result of a fallen, imperfect, world. I know you grieve for what you may never be able to do, my friend. I know you struggle with anger, resentment, grief, fear, and depression. But, there is hope in chronic illness if we pause to see it and lean on Jesus who holds us close to his heart.
And here’s something to light up your day–a Mother’s Day giveaway!
Celebrate yourself and Motherhood this year! I’ve teamed up with a wonderful group of bloggers to help pamper four Amazing Moms!
There will be ONE Grand Prize Winner and THREE $100 gift card winners – for a total of 4 winners!! The Grand Prize winner will choose between a combo Air Fryer/Toaster Oven or a Kitchen Aid Mixer (up to $300)
It’s our hope and prayer that we will add to your blessing this Mother’s Day, and also show you just how much we appreciate you, our mom readers.
To enter for your chance to win, simply use the Rafflecopter form below to enter. Now I know that is quite a few entries for you, but each of these bloggers generously chipped in their own money to bring you this giveaway, so I hope you will take the time to do all of the entries. Don’t forget, the more entries you do, the better your odds are at winning!
Giveaway ends Friday, May 12th at 11:59pm EDT. The winner will have 48 hours to respond to email to claim the prize. By entering this giveaway you may be added to the email lists of the 17 participating bloggers. Please be sure to read the Terms & Conditions upon entering the giveaway. By entering the giveaway, you agree and acknowledge your understanding of the Terms & Conditions.
