Jennie Allen on How to Break Free from Our 'Whirly, Swirly' Thoughts
It’s amazing to consider that on any given day, literally tens of thousands of thoughts cascade through our brains. Some of these thoughts are spectacular, like that glorious beach vacation you took with your family last year, or remembering the wide-eyed wonder of your children on Christmas morning.
Unfortunately, for every positive thought about seashells or Santa Claus, there are just as many, if not more, negative notions vying for our attention. A fast-approaching deadline at work, a troubling diagnosis from a recent doctor’s appointment, even worrying about something you said that day, have brought the best of us to our knees.
What has just been described are dizzying thoughts for any adult. But what about children? Sadly, they have just as many thoughts as grownups but don’t necessarily have the mental maturity to block out the bad from the good.
Using wisdom from the Bible, popular Bible teacher and speaker Jennie Allen's new children’s book, What to Do with Your Whirly, Swirly Thoughts is a fantastic resource to help your son or daughter feel safe in knowing that God has given them power over their thoughts in this great big world. It is Allen’s strong desire to let people know that we don’t have to stay stuck in our toxic thinking patterns. There is hope.
Fresh from her groundbreaking worldwide evangelistic event, Gather 25, I recently sat down with Allen to discuss why anxiety has seemingly increased exponentially over the last three decades, a few practical tips for taking our negative thoughts captive, and several Biblical truths to effectively manage our mindset.
For the sake of our conversation, how would you define “whirly, swirly thoughts” and what do you do with them?
All of us have between 8,000 and 60,000 thoughts in our brains every single day. So, on average, that's 25,000ish thoughts every 24 hours. And when you think of that many thoughts, and then not to mention about 85% of those thoughts research says are negative, 95% is repetitive from the day before. So we're thinking the same negative thoughts, toxic thoughts every day on repeat. And so I just picture, especially in this context, of a big whirly, swirly slide, and you're going down it and it's hard to go back up. It's really hard to put your feet down and change directions.
And it was this idea that our thoughts spiral, and you can interrupt it (that inspired me). You don't have to let them spiral. We have a choice about what we think about. We don't always have a choice about what we feel. And we certainly don't have a choice about the things that happen to us always, but we do have a choice about what we think about. We have power over that. We have authority. I didn't know that until I was an adult. This is my attempt to help everyone at every age know that they have a choice about what they think about.
Just thinking about the fact that we have up to 60,000 different thoughts a day gives me anxiety. But it leads me to ask you, why do you think anxiety has increased and ramped up over the last 20 or 30 years?
And it's ramping up faster by the minute. The statistics are terrifying. We're looking at an increase in the last five years or so since the beginning of COVID. From 2016 to 2019, it jumped up to where 9% of kids have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. That's diagnosed! That's 10% of our population of kids who have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I speak on college campuses and I often lead with asking people to hold up their phone if they have struggled with anxiety or loneliness in the last week. And almost every phone goes up into the air. This is an epidemic. Why has it happened? I think there's several reasons, but they all end in isolation. The most dangerous toxic place for us to be is alone in our minds.
It is more deadly and hard on your health than the other things that you would think would be number one in leading the charge on our health. And yet, we are the most isolated generation that has ever existed. Just the very nature of how it is structured, we are very isolated. Certainly technology has fed that. It has made us realize we are alone. We see everybody else together. But they're not together. When you go to that great picture of a party that everybody seems to have, they are all on their phones the whole time.
People are just lonely. They feel disconnected. And what I hope happens with this book and everything I do, is that I picture parents and grandparents reading it to their kid right before they go to bed, and opening up a conversation where that kid has been alone in their mind. I've had parents say to me, ‘I don't think my kids are anxious.’ And I'm like, well, get this book and have a conversation and make sure it isn’t heavy. This book is sweet. It assumes good thoughts too. This isn't a negative book at all, but it does help you address if you are having those feelings, and what to do with them. And the first thing you have to do is say it out loud so that you're no longer alone.
I'm glad you mentioned that because in your book, you offer some practical and Biblical tools for taking our thoughts captive. Could you share a couple of these and describe how they can help a child?
I wrote this book years ago right after Get Out of Your Head came out. I wanted to write a kid's book because people were asking me for it. They were like, ‘I need this. I wish I'd learned that I had control over my thoughts when I was a little kid. Nobody ever taught me that. I didn't know it until I was an adult.” And so I wrote this book, and then as we were about to go to press, my publisher said, ‘What if we asked some counselors and psychologists what they would add to the book and just get their input and feedback.’ They loved the book. They were so supportive, and they gave me this feedback: what if you put in some really clear handles? And they helped with the handles. And so, from all the research, you see that, number one, you've got to say it out loud, you've got to share it.
Number two, you can move your body. That can help you get out of your head if you're spiraling. I think of my nephew who's in college. He's an 18-year-old boy, and I love him so much. We talk all the time. He called me recently and said, “Aunt Jennie, you are always telling me to get out of my head. I had to go for a run. I just want you to know it works. I just was spiraling in anxiety and I went on a run and I feel so much better.” And I was like, thank you little nephew for listening to me. So I do think it really does help. To just take a walk, to move your body, for a kid to go ride your bike, to jump on a trampoline, it really does help.
And then lastly, to not be afraid to name what it is you're feeling, to just know it in your mind. This is what I feel. Certainly, some kids might need more help than this. They might need a counselor to talk to. They might need a trained specialist to talk to, and might need medicine to help them. Certainly, there's a lot of brokenness in our bodies and in the world right now for a lot of reasons. And needing help is a gift. It is not a burden. It is a gift. And to not be afraid to get the help that you need.
At the end of the book, you offer up three Bible verses (2 Corinthians 10:5, Philippians 4:8, Joshua 1:9). What is so vital about those three verses that you chose to close the book with them?
Scripture is one of the most helpful ways we can redirect our thinking. Gratitude is another one. When you are thinking negative thoughts, you can replace them. It's hard to just stop thinking. If you've ever tried to stop thinking, you've never thought harder and more sporadic about everything, right? If somebody says, don't think anymore, it is impossible. But if you replace those thoughts with gratitude, with Scripture, with truth, and what you know to be true, it gives you hope. As far as Second Corinthians 10, those verses have become crucial for me. I've thought about them a lot in the last 24 hours. I just broke my foot two days ago, and I've had to redirect my thinking. I'm destroying strongholds. I can take every thought captive, that I'm not a victim to my thinking, that I actually have a lot of authority and power over it.
After children and parents have had a chance to experience What to Do with Your Whirly, Swirly Thoughts, what would you like your readers to take away from that experience? What is your greatest hope for the book?
The most important thing is that kids feel safe to open up. I often tell parents, don't overreact. I know sometimes we can be watching our kids spiral, it really scares us, and it really makes us want to fix them. But I think the greatest thing we can do as parents is to be a safe place for them to wrestle. Honestly, most of the time, the spiraling you see is the worst of it. They have just got to do it somewhere. So don't overreact. Encourage them. Help them believe truth. Take them to God's Word. And don't freak out.
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